Page 10 of Leave Me (Shift MC #1)

Chapter nine

Fowler

B arely absorbing the words from my family and others, I couldn’t bring myself to show emotion. Plus, I’d cried my eyes out over the letter in the previous days, and after drinking myself into oblivion the night before.

Hopefully, my glasses hid my red eyes.

My father was all the things everyone said.

He was a good husband and a born leader, but he was also hard to love.

An alcoholic who apparently found his way to accept me and sobriety in the end.

Channing told me he died of liver cancer, which was rare for a shifter.

He hadn’t wanted treatment and refused to shift, which I had to guess meant he wanted to be with my mom.

One part of me wanted to say, ‘ good riddance ,’ but a voice in my head growled at my disrespect.

My Alpha was partial to happy memories and how my father led by example for most of my childhood.

I’d learned how to be a man partially from those memories, and also how not to act from the years leading up to my leaving .

Those conflicting thoughts had me reining in the tears until Uncle Clark had spoken.

He stepped up in my life when my dad wasn’t there for me and Channing.

I’d spent a lot of time in the Finley household, just down the road behind the Motorvated shop, and I needed to remember to show my appreciation to him for his help.

After a handful of people had spoken, most I knew well, I felt the eyes of everyone on me. They wanted me to speak about my father, and I could bet some wanted me to tear into him. The joke was on them because there was no chance in hell I would make a spectacle of myself for the man I called Dad.

What would I even say? I loved my father for the first ten years of my life, when everything was picture perfect, and then I resented him.

He was an amazing father, and then he was the reason I ran away, leaving Channing behind.

I loved my baby sister and never blamed her for Mom’s passing the way my father had.

Anything I said about Alpha King would reflect poorly on her, so it was best if I didn’t say anything at all.

Channing, Gramps, and I waited beside the path to thank everyone for coming while they offered platitudes. Avoiding everyone’s eyes during the funeral meant I was surprised by many of the people who shook my hand after the minister dismissed us.

Most people said how sorry they were for our loss, and I could simply give a nod and a quiet, ‘ Thank you ,’ before they moved on. But some wanted to gush about how great it was to see me home.

“It’s good you’re home now. Your sister could sure use your help,” our neighbor, Pam, insisted in a passive-aggressive way that poked a finger at my guilt. “Though I don’t like the idea of another noisy motorcycle racing up and down the road, stirring up dust.”

Her complaints weren’t new, and I was glad we kept her away with stories of wolves on our land.

It was a rumor we usually laughed at, stating there were no wolves so far south in California.

They’d rarely been spotted in the state for decades.

But for nosy neighbors, Dad hadn’t minded spreading that bit of tea.

“The road is paved now, Pam,” Gramps pointed out, and I let them talk, movement catching my eye.

Most of the younger guests had already left for the house for food and drinks, but one dirty-blond head of hair caught my attention among the little old ladies at the end of the line.

Though I hadn’t seen him in a decade, and he was noticeably older with laugh lines at the corners of his eyes, I would know him in a sea of people.

Riley Jones.

Another, stronger pang of guilt hit me squarely in the chest. I felt bad about leaving him behind in a whole different way than I felt about everyone else. Riley was always soft, only having his mom and never being able to shift. He’d always been an outsider. I was the one who protected him.

Who had been protecting him since I left ?

When we came out to each other in high school, it created a bond unlike anything I had with anyone else on earth.

Riley was my best friend, even though my dad said he wasn’t shifter enough to be the future Pack Alpha’s friend.

Hell, I’d been his first kiss at senior prom.

I’d told him everything, about my gender dysphoria and how bad my dad made me feel, so I was surprised he came, since he always acted angrier about my dad’s behavior than I had.

Riley’s eyes were striking blue pools as they met mine, and a jolt of something hot overtook the guilt. I found my feet moving of their own accord. Before I had time to process what I was doing, I bypassed a group of old ladies and found myself standing in front of Riley.

He grew up good.

Always a little chubby, like he never grew out of his baby fat, he made a great cuddle buddy in our youth.

Our classmates teased him, but I found him adorable.

Now, he was filling out his white dress shirt, with a suit jacket thrown over one arm.

His skin was a deep golden tan, as if he spent his free time at some sunny beach, and his blond hair was darker than I remembered.

Riley and I didn’t speak for what felt like an eternity as we looked each other over, as if cataloguing all the ways we’d changed. Then I remembered to take a deep breath, and his scent assaulted my senses. Had he always smelled like an apple tree laden with ripe fruit? Hell, like a whole orchard?

Feeling my cock throbbing, I held my hand out for something to do.

“Riley?” I hadn’t meant it to be a question. I knew exactly who he was. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Hi, Riley. It’s good to see you.”

Understatement of the fucking year, but I stood with bated breath, hoping he accepted my offered handshake. My Alpha grumbled something about wanting more than a handshake, but I pushed it down and waited to see what Riley would do.