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“Has anyone seen the damn pirates?” Bas called out as the familiars met on the hill that overlooked Kracken’s Hole. “Anyone.”

“How the FUCK TWAT BALLS did five pirates vanish when their boat is still anchored?” Binky asked, ruffling his feathers.

Their search had come up empty, no pirates. As in no new pirates. The old were still lolling around and getting pissed, and Blackbeard was still naked despite the fact there were new rules out, stating that they should be covered at all times.

“Has anyone actually checked the boat?” Edith piped up; she was currently lying on her back in the long grass, blowing smoke rings from her nose.

Silence reigned.

Then Bas swore… again…

“You have got to be fucking kidding me, the one place that’s so obvious and no one actually checked it.”

“I mean, we assumed they wouldn’t be in there as it’s too obvious,” Grundlepus piped up, finally giving everyone else the attention instead of licking his balls.

“We are so letting the side down,” Binky stated, pushing his glasses back up onto his face.

“How are we supposed to protect when we can’t even locate the problem in this tiny town? It’s not as if there are loads of places to hide, there’s only one way out.” Bas started to pace, his tail doubling in size and only getting bigger the more he paced.

“So, what do we do?” Grundlepus asked, and everyone groaned.

“Really?” Bas asked.

“Oh, my goddess,” Edith snorted from the grass.

“Baba’s Balls,” Binky added.

“YOU’RE FUCKED,” was all Denzel contributed towards the conversation.

Bruce actually liked the little town of Kracken’s Hole and, in any other circumstances, it would have made a nice place to live. Well, apart from the ghosts and the threat of Krackens and… magic.

They had taken this chance to better their lives, but the witch they had dealt with had not been a very good one. But still, there were here and they were about to take control of their own destiny. In a few hours, they would leave with their bounty.

Bruce was not sure what they would do with said bounty when they had it, but apparently the witch would know.

Their plan had been worked out to perfection.

As soon as night fell, they would sneak in, do their grab, and then leave.

The boat was ready to set sail at moment’s notice and the crew were ready.

The witch had also given them a few positions that would help.

They did have Krackens to deal with, after all, and they were nasty bastards if legend got it right.

Bruce shuddered; the idea of tentacles actually went through him. It was those little suction cups that made him shiver at the mere thought of them being attached to his skin.

“Nasty.”

“What’s nasty, captain?”

“Tentacles.”

“Ahh yeah, they don’t taste nice on their own, but with a bit of seasoning they can be lovely.” The answer caught Bruce off guard.

“What?”

“Yeah, saw it on a TV show once, how to cook the perfect tentacle.”

“Is that right?”

“Oh yes, they also did a marvellous avocado salad with it as well, looked delicious.”

Bruce blinked. “Is everything ready?” They changed the subject, if the idea of touching a tentacle made them shiver more than the thought of eating brought back the nausea. Their up-chuck reflex would be exercised with vigour.

“Yes, captain, all that’s left is to grab the bounty, a room has been prepared.”

“Perfect, let us wait for nightfall and then we strike.”