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“Order order, this meeting is in session,” Binky called out.

“Bas, get off my tail, I’ve told you before you can look but not fucking touch,” Grundlepus called out, and twisted so his tail slid from the squirrel’s grasp, and he sat on it.

“But it’s so soft, I like touching it.”

“Touch your own.”

“I do.” He grinned and winked. “Regularly.”

“Dirty bastard.”

“Oh, I like it when you talk dirty to me.”

“FUCK… come on, guys, cut it out,” Binky complained as they continued their back and forth.

“Are they always like this?” Edith asked, and Binky nodded.

“Yes, unfortunately. I’m sorry this is such a poor welcome,” Binky apologised and adjusted his glasses.

Binky, like Edith, was quirky yes, but he had a heart of gold and adored his witch.

If Edith was honest, all of the familiars were lovely…

on their own. But together it was carnage unless they were playing poker.

That seemed to be the only way they could be in the same room together without trying to piss each other off.

The banter during the night before poker match was an eye opener, that was for sure.

“It’s all good, hun, don’t worry. I’ve seen worse,” Edith admitted.

Before Jessica had found her, she had been left on her own by her mother.

Apparently, Dragons left the nest early.

Edith knew it was bullshit but she had been left to fend for herself and to deal with the bullies of the clan.

Those bitches gave her a hard lesson in learning to not let anything break her spirit.

She had never admitted to Jessica how actually broken she had been and that their meeting was not only welcome, but a blessing from the goddess.

It was why she had been so scared to lose Jessica.

“I’m sorry,” Binky stated and looked at her. His big eyes blinked slowly behind his rimmed glasses, and she just knew the little bird saw her and understood.

‘It’s okay,” she whispered before tuning to look at the other two familiars who had yet to give up arguing.

The ghost parrot known as Denzel sat nearby, waiting patiently. It had been him who called the impromptu meeting in the Ferrett’s Hole.

Taking a small breath in, Edith released it slowly, sending a small flame shooting out, just enough to singe the whiskers on both Grundlepus and Bas.

“AHHHHHHHH!”

“FUCK FUCK FUCK, my tail!”

Binky snorted and Edith grinned as both the cat and squirrel danced about. All that was singed was their whiskers, yet they both were more bothered about their tails, making Edith and Binky shake their heads.

“Why did you do that?” Grundlepus complained as he hugged his tail to his chest.

“Fuckers, how dare you?” Bas growled out as he too hugged his tail. “You could have permanently disfigured us.”

“Oh, BELLEND, shut up, Denzel has something to say to us, he’s been waiting for you two pilocks to finish TWAT talking shit,” Binky chastised the two. Edith could see why Binky was the familiars’ unofficial leader. Despite the Tourettes, he commanded the respect of the rest.

“Denzel, please go-ahead ARSE.”

Dropping down onto the table, Denzel ruffled his ghostly feathers. “Me hearty’s, a tale I must tell.”

Edith blinked; she expected the parrot speak but she did not expect this. She leant into whisper to Binky, “Does he really talk like that?”

“I couldn't say, this is the most he’s spoken since we met him,” Binky whispered back and adjusted his specs.

“A foul deed be afoot. Villains in Kracken’s Hole there be.” Denzel lifted his wings to gesture, although the effect was lost as there was almost no feathers left and he was a ghost, so they were transparent. “I warn ye, these pirates be up to no good.”

“Denzel mate, we are surrounded by pirates, and most of the time they are up to no good, especially Blackbeard,” Bas stated.

“I know, the amount of time I’ve seen that man’s balls, it should be made illegal,” Grundlepus chimed in.

“They are big though, so fair play, I can't blame the man for wanting to show them off,” Bas answered, and the cat nodded in agreement.

“Nay me hearty’s, be pirates of the real variety,” Denzel called out and ruffled his feathers.

It was Binky that answered this time. “But we class all of you as real pirates,” he paused, adjusted his glasses, and continued. “You mean alive pirates?”

Denzel nodded vigorously.

“So we have alive pirates in Kracken’s Hole, that are here to cause issues. Okay, team, let’s keep an eye out for these villains as Denzel described them.”

“Are we telling the girls?” Grundlepus spoke up, stroking his tail nervously.

“No, we can handle this. The girls have enough on their plates as it is,” Binky stated. “We can sort this out and the girls will be none the wiser.”

Edith wasn’t so sure, but she kept quiet. If she was honest, she really enjoyed the fact they had included her in this little meeting, and it had been a while since she had been in a decent fight. A chance to blow off some steam and protect sounded like a bloody good way to spend her day.

“I’m game,” was all she said before she sat back and sipped from her pint glass. The pint of Vicar’s Knutt was as good as she had expected. Feeling lighter than she had in a while, Edith let herself relax as the other familiars planned the pirate’s comeuppance.