Page 3 of Knox (Graeme #3)

I an sent me home to shower after Lana left.

Rehearsals didn't start until four, so I had time to do nothing.

Too much time. Shock gave way to anger when I entered the bedroom; my hopes of forgetting were lost. Pieces of Jasper scattered across the room like confetti.

The bear he'd won for me at the arcade in the bowling alley greeted me from the bookshelf.

The hoodie he gave me to wear the night we took a walk through the woods and it was chilly; the little doll he'd made out of hay…

Now, every smile and touch felt like a trap. Jasper needed a place to stay and a job. Training to work in a stable because his brothers wouldn't let him work with them. The guy had used me, come onto me, and paid me in sex.

I found an empty packing box that hadn't made it to the recyclables and began tossing everything from the relationship in it.

How had I been so stupid? Why did I ever think he could have been interested in me? Loved me?

My father didn't. Mom? Hah. She didn't even talk to me until Uncle Ian did.

Maybe Ethan was right, and I was a waste of space.

My cell vibrated on the charger as I tossed a tee shirt into the box, and I glanced at the screen, half hoping it was Jasper just so I could yell at him.

@KnightTimeDanc3r popped up on the screen, and I slumped to the floor by the bed to read the message.

@KnightTimeDanc3r: Hey. How is your day going?

Laughter escaped my lips then. My day was a pile of horseshit, but he didn't need to know that.

@Jo.GraemePlace: Okay. Just doing some cleaning. Getting rid of things I shouldn't have kept. How's yours?

@KnightTimeDanc3r: Seems to be that time of year, with the barn party coming up. A lot of things are changing.

@Jo.GraemePlace: They are. I feel like it would be easier sometimes to be the horse, you know. Clean stall, plenty of hay, daily rides, and oats. What more could you want as a horse?

@KnightTimeDanc3r: It does feel backwards, doesn't it? Horses are gods and we're the commodities.

Didn't know why I was telling him anything. Well, I did, too. I didn't care at the moment. Might regret the conversation later, but right now, he was the closest thing I had to a friend.

@Jo.GraemePlace: It does feel backwards. Who did they sell you to?

@KnightTimeDanc3r: Oh, I'm the spare. Paper towel more like, and not worth anything.

@Jo.GraemePlace: I feel you. It's hard when someone says you aren't worthy.

@KnightTimeDanc3r: Especially around here. When the Macs speak, we could end up with a marriage we don't want, or lose our name. Isn't there an in between?

@KnightTimeDanc3r: Okay, I've said too much. See you at rehearsal and thanks for listening.

@Jo.GraemePlace: Any time.

It sounded like he was in the same place as me, only if he was packing, it meant he was losing his name. Maybe my problems weren't as bad as I thought.

Still wasn't keeping Jasper's stuff though. Didn't need the reminder of the lies he told me just so he could have Lana Daniels.