Page 14 of Knox (Graeme #3)

Another Sleepless Night

M y head hit the pillow after getting ready for bed, and I still couldn't sleep.

Excitement over the date had given way to exhaustion, but I still hadn't adapted to sleeping alone.

I lay there for hours, eyes closed, while thought after thought ran through my mind.

The past and the present collided while I chided myself for things I could have done better.

I'd forgotten what this was like. Having Jasper beside me shut the nasty thoughts off.

My cell vibrated on the charger, and I reached over to grab it.

@KnightTimeDanc3r: Happy birthday. I wanted to be the first one to say that.

I smiled at the screen.

@Jo.GraemePlace: Thank you. It feels strange, you know.

Last year, I still lived with Ethan, and had a tiny room in the barn.

Small kerosene heater, two sleeping bags to stay warm, and the shower in the stable didn't have hot water.

Now, I have my own bedroom in my uncle's house.

I'm sorry. Didn't mean to dump on you like that.

@KnightTimeDanc3r: You aren't. I'm always here to listen, Josh. Why aren't you sleeping?

@Jo.GraemePlace: I got used to sleeping with someone else and now the bed is too big.

@KnightTimeDanc3r: So, you need a teddy bear? Or, maybe a dreamweaver.

@Jo.GraemePlace: You offerin' to be my Morpheus?

@KnightTimeDanc3r: Since I'm not a God, I can maybe manage the teddy bear. Maybe your favorite cake?

@Jo.GraemePlace: Let's see. No one has ever asked me that. Mom always gets me a sheet cake from the grocery store. Usually yellow cake with white icing. I really like chocolate.

@KnightTimeDanc3r: Devil's food? We were talking gods.

@Jo.GraemePlace: I just want to be thought about, really. Thank you for wishing me happy birthday, and you were the first. Good night.

@KnightTimeDanc3r: I aim to please. Goodnight, Josh.

I set the phone on the charger again and sighed.

The door opened slowly, spilling light from the motion sensor light in the hall, and Ian poked his head around it. I sat up, and he walked in, his tie hanging loosely around his neck.

"You can't sleep, huh?" he asked as he sat down at the foot of the bed.

"No. I'm so used to having someone beside me and now the bed feels too big."

He gave me a tired smile. "I get that. Finn had an emergency meeting with the guard after the wedding, and Zaffre brought me home."

"There are a lot of Downs and Grayson brothers," I said as I leaned against the headboard.

"Sometimes too many," Ian muttered.

"How was the wedding?"

"You know, I'm still upset that Lydia cut you out. You're cousins. Family shouldn't behave that way."

I laughed. "She and I talked about it. She was afraid her mother was going to be a bitch, and her father stated I was no longer a Guthrie, so I didn't belong at a Guthrie wedding.

I'd rather be a Graeme, Uncle. Lydia and I can be friends.

We just couldn't be public friends until she became Wallace's wife.

Now she can tell her parents to go to hell. "

He rested his head against the footpost and closed his eyes. "Can I tell Lucy to go to hell?"

"I don't think Lydia would care. She doesn't like her mother all that much."

"Hmm." He sighed. "What time is it?"

I checked my phone on the charger. "It's four in the morning. Meet you in the garage in fifteen minutes?"

He nodded. "Yeah, Stryder won't wait until sunup."

He stood, stretching and yawning before making his way to the hall, and I headed into the closet to change into something warm for the barn.

Knox stood in the hall, dressed for work, head leaned back against the wall and eyes closed when I stepped out of my room. "Do you always get up this early?"

"Depends on whether I can sleep," I said.

"So, you didn't sleep?" he asked as I headed down the stairs first.

"No. What woke you up?"

"Wasn't sleeping, either."

"I can't sleep because my bed is too big. What about you?"

Being honest might have been too much, and I waited for his response, which came in the form of arms around my waist and his chin resting on my shoulder while we waited for Ian, who sat at the table getting his boots on.

My uncle glanced at us and made no comment about our positions.

Jasper and I didn't do this much. Well, in the beginning, yeah, but later? We rarely touched each other in public.

We were silent as we left the house and headed to the barn in the golf cart.

My job was a little different now. I cleaned Stryder's stall while Ian rode him, and then took Roman out for a walk while Knox took care of his horse.

His. Damn. It struck me then that I either married him or sold him his horse back. Couldn't just give Foxy back. Horses were assets in the Tri-County.

Why couldn't things be simple? Why couldn't we just date and see where it took us?

No, things didn't work that way for us.

After cleaning Roman's stall, I headed up to the hayloft to drop bales down for the stalls and stopped short.

Resting on top of a bale was a guitar case with a large red bow. It was still warm, so it hadn't been up here long.

With a shaky hand, I removed the white envelope tucked under the ribbon, and opened it to read the card.

Happy birthday, Josh.

You can play piano, and you loved Wallace's guitar, so I thought you might like to learn to play your own.

—Finn

I was afraid to look at the instrument up here. It was too dirty, and I didn't want to break it, so I wrapped my hand around the handle and moved to the pulley system, taking the rope down instead of the stairs.

Billy and Barry were busy feeding and watering Wallace's horses when I made it down. Knox wasn't in the barn, and neither was Foxy.

I carried the guitar up to the office, and when I returned, I started cleaning Foxy's stall.

There wasn't anyone to share my excitement with, so I stayed busy, pretending it was just another day. I was happy, though. In my mind, it was a huge deal to be included—to be remembered.

I knew why I got most of my gifts early. It went along with moving into the guesthouse again. Getting the guitar today, on the actual day, changed the—oh, your birthday is sometime this month—to: I remember you.

The aroma of coffee greeted me when I returned to the barn from dumping the last wheelbarrow, and Billy came to take it as Adam walked down the aisle from the other side. There was one cup left on the tray, and it had my name on it.

Ian walked in behind him with Hellfire, and my uncle held his own cup.

Had I moved up in the ranks to get coffee in the mornings? This was new, and I felt strange about it.

Adam stopped in front of me, and I took the cup, thanking him quietly.

He inclined his head and walked around me.

The deliveries began arriving, and I went to meet the hay truck from Mason Farms. Lacey was more than congenial this morning. No flirting, no laughing, just friendly. Normal. I checked the bales and then signed off on the order as Barry and Billy hurried to unload.

"So," Lacey whispered as she hooked an arm through mine and shivered. "Adam is your guard?"

"He is, I think. Why?" I turned facing the barn, realizing everyone was watching us as they worked.

She turned to face me, even as she held on. "I like him. I don't know how to get his attention."

"Don't be a bitch?" I raised my eyebrows, and she looked away. "You gotta be nice, even when you're nervous."

"I know. I'm working on it." Her gaze met mine then. "Can you maybe ask? See if he might be interested in me?"

"Most guards don't marry, Lacey."

"I understand. Just see?" she whispered.

Knox joined us then, and I offered him some coffee. He took it and looked around. "What's going on? I think your uncle is about to freak."

I leaned over and kissed Knox on the lips, causing Lacey to smile. Based on all the faces watching us from the barn, no one could figure out what we were doing.

"Josh?" Barry said as he passed us. "That's the last of it."

"I'll talk to Adam and see," I murmured.

Lacey thanked me and hurried back to the truck after telling us she'd see us tonight.

Knox walked me into the barn again with Ian watching us with a narrowed gaze. I took my coffee cup back, and it was empty, but I didn't care.

"She's interested in Adam," I murmured when I reached Ian.

He frowned, his gaze studying my face. "Nothing else?"

"No. Knox and I are teaching her how to dance before opening night. I think we are the only friends she has," I said, as it just occurred to me. "When she's nervous, she says things she shouldn't."

Ian nodded slowly. "I think I understand that. She wants you to do what?"

"See if Adam is interested in something?" I raised my eyebrows. "I told her most guard didn't marry, and she didn't care."

"She wouldn't. She's heir to her father's farm, and Mister Mason doesn't mind her unmarried status," Ian said.

"Probably because he isn't a Mac," I muttered. "We are complicated, Uncle."

"Well, as long as we understand, that's all that matters." He winked at me, and I took the second copy of the invoice up to the office.

Really hoped kissing Knox smoothed things over with the rest of them. If not, who knew what would be floating around about me by tonight?

Oh, god. I didn't want to have a birthday party! Please let things go okay tonight?