Page 3

TRIPP

I don’t know what day it is. I don’t even know the time. All I know is the pain going through my body as if I’ve been through a battle. Every cell inside me feels like it’s on fire, blazing underneath my skin like an inferno.

Licking my dry lips, I roll over with a groan. The bed I’m lying on feels like a thousand tiny knives sticking my body at once. I feel another person in the room with me, but my senses are so off I don’t know who it is. All I know is that I’m no longer alone.

“Ugh,” I groan once more, finally sitting up in bed.

I still haven’t opened my eyes. I’m afraid to. It feels like a band of trumpets is playing in my head. It’s painful. Everything is painful.

“He’s finally coming around,” I hear someone say, relief echoing in their words.

With me feeling like this, it must’ve happened again. This is the fourth time this has happened to me, and it doesn’t get any easier the more it happens. In fact, the more this happens to me, the worse I get. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

“What day is it?” I say between gritted teeth, feeling my head throbbing with each word.

I vaguely hear, “It’s Thursday.”

Fuck. I’ve been out for three days. This cannot keep happening to me. I have a business to run. I cannot just take off all willy-nilly whenever I want to. I have no one else to run the business for me, and this is impeding everything.

“Four days?” I grunt. “Fuck me.”

“No, Tripp.” I finally hear that it’s Boone, his voice lyrical and smooth. “A week and four days.”

My eyes snap open at that, and I instantly regret it. Pain explodes behind my eyes, making me instantly shut them once more. I fall back onto the bed, covering my eyes with my arm.

Even that is sensitive, and I grit my teeth to keep from crying out from the pain. I’m supposed to be a manly man, but this stuff hurts every inch of my body.

“How has it been that long?” I croak, my throat dry and hoarse.

“This was a particularly bad time, Tripp. You nearly went after an innocent omega coming in to get her alpha’s motorcycle fixed.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, shit. The alpha wants to press charges, but the omega talked him out of it. She said it was her fault that she didn’t know she was that close to her heat; otherwise, she wouldn’t have come to the shop as she did.”

“He should press charges. I’m a danger to everyone around me,” I say, feeling terrible for allowing myself to become so weak.

An alpha prides themselves on the fact they’re the strongest of the designations. Alphas are not meant to be weak, but I find myself more often than not just that. I constantly allow myself to fall into a rut and don’t know how to stop it.

The only thing that can stop this is mating with an omega of our own. Yet we can’t mate with an omega until we all agree on the mating. Knox is against mating anyone, and that’s because he has certain expectations for an omega that can hardly be met.

He wants a perfect omega, and even I know that is a stretch.

No one is perfect. Not me. Not Boone. Not even Knox.

To ask an omega to be perfect is akin to asking ice cream not to melt on a summer day. It’s ignorant. People make mistakes all the time. But what we do after that mistake makes us who we are.

“Tripp, you can’t help it. You’ve been this way since you were twenty.”

“The chemical imbalance in my brain isn’t a good enough reason for losing it completely. I should be stronger to withstand the mating heat of an omega.”

Boone gives me a sad look, instantly making my hackles rise. “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity, Tripp. I swear.”

Sitting up, I level him with a glare. “Then what would you call it?”

“I understand you,” he says, but I don’t buy it.

It’s pity. It’s been the same look in his eyes ever since I went into my first rut when I was twenty and nearly killed everyone to get to the omega. Of course, the omega back then was the omega trying to trap me in a mating.

She was my high school sweetheart. I thought she and I were meant to be together, but we weren’t.

The moment she went into heat the first time and I didn’t service her, she got pissed off and perfumed everywhere.

Her scent didn’t drive me to madness. I knew right then that she wasn’t my scent match. It made it easier to break up with her.

For several years after the fact, Hailey followed me around. She wanted me to be her alpha, but I didn’t want her as my omega. The moment she cheated on me was the moment I called it quits. I don’t want to be with someone who isn’t wholly obsessed with me.

I need an omega to be just as obsessed with me as I am with them.

“I don’t know what to do,” Boone states, heaving himself out of the chair. He begins to pace the floor. “The ruts seem to be coming more and more. They’re getting worse, too.”

“I know,” I reply, resting my elbows on my knees and putting my face in my hands. “I’m a danger. I should be locked up.”

“Let’s not get carried away. You’re no danger unless there’s an omega in heat around. I don’t know why omegas put themselves in that kind of position. They should stay home or in one of the heat dens throughout Cedar Hill if they’re in heat.”

“We can’t expect them to place their life on hold simply because I rut every time I’m around an omega in heat.”

“No,” he says. “But we can expect them to have some common decency for unmated alphas.”

“It was an accident this time. She didn’t know she was going into heat.”

We sit in silence. Boone continues to pace through what I now know is my bedroom. He’s wearing a hole in the floor, but I can’t make myself seem to care. I’m so lost in the ‘what ifs’ that I worry myself sick.

What if Boone didn’t get to me in time?

What if I took that omega against her will?

What if …

What if …

What if …

The constant questions tumble inside my mind; it isn't good, no matter how I look at it. There are some things you simply cannot come back from, and taking someone against their will is one of them.

I mean, it wouldn’t be against their will because omegas are wired to want alphas during their heat. But to me, taking advantage of that is horrible. I’d say it’s illegal, even though it isn’t illegal.

“How does an omega not know she’s going into heat? There are signs. Increased temperature. Aches and pains. Increased arousal. An omega of age knows those are the signs of an impending heat. I’m sorry, but this omega wasn’t newly designated. She knew she was going into heat.”

“I guess we’ll never know. All I know is, I probably just lost business by doing what I did.”

“You didn’t get far enough to do anything. I stopped you before you did anything.”

I sigh. “What did I do?”

“You grabbed her and tried to kiss her. You got her cheek instead of her lips, but it was still bad.”

“Damn, man. I can’t keep doing this. I’m a danger to society.”

“Hardly a danger,” he scoffs. “I’d say you’re more dangerous to yourself than society.”

“I’m still dangerous.”

“We’ll agree to disagree,” he says as his phone rings.

I lose myself in thought as Boone takes the call.

I don’t listen to whoever is on the other end of the line.

Instead, I think back to when I hit my first rut.

It came out of nowhere. I didn’t have time to get away from Hailey.

I had her up against the wall with my lips on her neck and my hands on her waist before I knew what I was doing.

It took Knox and Boone to get me away from her.

I can’t let this happen again. My ruts are getting progressively worse. Usually, I’m out for a day or two. Now, this time, I was in and out for nearly two weeks. I can’t even remember them feeding me or using the bathroom, but I must’ve since I’m not in the hospital.

This is dangerous. I don’t care what Boone or Knox say; I’m about as unsafe as they come.

A rutting alpha is not someone anyone wants to encounter, especially if they don’t have an outlet.

I don’t. With no omega, I fear the worst the next time.

What if Boone and Knox aren’t there? I’ll do something I’ll regret. I know I will.

Leaving Boone to it, I take care of my business and get the shower running. I wait until it’s almost unbearably hot before I shed my clothing and step under the spray. The moment the water hits my back, my entire body sags in relief. My skin is still sensitive, but not as badly sensitive as it was.

While my body sags, I try to jog my memory of the last several days.

I stand there for several minutes, but nothing comes to me.

It’s all a heated haze. I see flashes of arms, chests, and a bed.

I feel hands on my body and lips following after.

Whose, I don’t know. But I feel them like they’re ghosts of touches I had.

Soon, other parts of me begin to grow hard. I grit my teeth when I feel my cock slowly becoming hard. Each drop of water that slides down my shaft feels like a soft caress. I brace my forehead against the wall of the shower, trying to ignore the twitch of my cock as it fully hardens.

I count to fifty in my head. When that doesn’t help, I go to one hundred.

Yet by the time I reach one hundred, I’m aching with need.

I’m as hard as a stone, with the need continuing to build inside me.

Growling, I reach down and give a sharp tug.

My mouth falls open from the sensation that assaults me.

I’m always super sensitive after having one of these episodes, and it feels fucking good.

Wrapping my hand around my dick, I slowly start stroking from root to tip, my hips rocking to the push and pull of my hand.

I fist my hand against the wall so hard my knuckles turn white from the pressure.

But I continue to build a steady rhythm until I’m nearly panting with the need to release.

I don’t hear the door opening, but a body slides into the shower behind mine; their heat is a welcome relief.

A strong, masculine arm wraps around my body, their hand batting mine away.

I’m too lost in the sensations to question anything.

I let go of my cock, only to rock forward until my chest is flush against the wall of the shower when they take over.

Fuck that feels good.

“I’ll make you feel better, baby,” Boone’s voice drifts over the sound of falling water.

I lean my forearms against the wall for support, hanging my head between them. My eyes open, and I watch as Boone jerks me off. His chest presses against my back, his hardness against mine turning me on even more.

We don’t do this often, but we do sometimes. Boone takes care of me, and I take care of him. It’s a release, and I desperately need one of those right now. It doesn’t make us emasculated to be topped by another guy. We like what we like, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

“Tighter,” I gasp, tightening my fists. “I need more.”

When his hand leaves my cock, I nearly whimper, only for him to turn me around.

Falling back against the shower wall, I watch through hooded eyes as a naked Boone kneels in front of me.

He gives me one look of hunger before he takes my cock down his throat in one go.

I thump my head back against the wall, crying out as I feel his throat tightening around my sensitive girth.

His hands grab my hips as he continues to suck me in and out of his mouth, his tongue circling my sensitive head before he swallows me once more. He hums, closing his eyes as a look of pure euphoria slides over his features. I can do nothing except watch as he works my cock like a pro.

His movements grow frenzied as the suction becomes too much. I can feel the familiar tingle at the base of my spine as my balls draw up, ready to release into his waiting mouth. My hips start rocking back and forth of their own accord, fucking into his mouth like it’s the holy grail.

“Just like that.” I grit my teeth, grunting when he swallows around my length, the tightening and release of his throat nearly doing me in.

“Mmm,” he hums.

I lose myself in him as my orgasm builds and builds.

I’m nearing the breaking point when I feel Boone’s hand cup my balls, giving them a slight squeeze as his pointer finger presses against my gooch.

That’s all it takes. I come with a scream of pleasure, my hand holding the back of his head so he can take everything I have to give him.

He swallows me down, taking all of my cum. He’s just as lost in this as I am, his eyes closed and relaxed as a shiver works its way up his spine.

My chest heaves as he leans back, a satisfied smirk tugging at his lips. Looking down at him, I give him a grateful smile. I don’t have to say thank you. That’s not how it is between us.

No, we’re not together. No, we don’t bat for the same team. We have something special. We’re connected in a way that doesn’t make this weird. He takes care of me because he wants to, and I do the same for him. We do the same for Knox, too; there are no exceptions.

Being an alpha doesn’t mean I can’t submit to my packmate. If I can’t be vulnerable with them, who can I be vulnerable with? They are mine just as I am theirs.

I’ll always have their back, just like they’ll always have mine.

“Thanks,” I say through a huff.

He smiles a brilliant smile. “It was no skin off my ass, Tripp. Your cock is beautiful, and I’d be stupid not to take advantage of that.”

I playfully give him the stink eye, but he laughs, gets up from his knees, and leaves the shower. His laughter floats through the air behind him, and I can’t stop the smile that slowly spreads over my face as well.

I’d do anything for my pack. They are my saving grace. Knox and Boone have gotten me out of plenty of messes, and I’ll forever be indebted to them. They’re my life, my anchor. I’d be lost without them.