Page 28

KNOX

I’m going to kill him.

Bury him in the backyard in an unmarked grave.

Boone and I follow the GPS to Tripp’s location, finding his bike parked in the driveway of a small, cottage-style home. The home screams soft and cozy. It’s welcoming. Enticing. It’s a home you want to walk into every day, knowing what’s on the other side waiting for you.

With a quick Google search, I know what’s waiting for us on the other side of that door.

Remi.

My mind is a ricocheting storm, thoughts spinning so fast I can barely distinguish one from the next.

Do I tear down the door, splinters and all, let the wrath burning in my veins unleash?

Or do I play it cool—steady my breath, smooth my hair, knock like the type of man my mother always prayed I’d become?

My fists clench and unclench, each heartbeat a drumbeat urging me forward and holding me back all at once.

A thousand images flicker behind my eyes: Remi’s face lighting up with relief or crumpling in hurt, Tripp’s smirk daring me to lose control, Boone’s sidelong glance waiting to see which Knox shows up.

I hover at the edge of decision—torn between the animalistic need to see her and the desperate wish not to ruin everything I’ve worked for with one reckless act.

Every second stretches, taut as a wire, until it seems like something inside me will snap.

The world narrows to this threshold, this choice: do I barge in like a thunderstorm, or do I offer the courtesy of a knock, hoping it’s enough to keep the peace that’s always felt just out of reach?

Ever since we had our spat at the house and Tripp stormed off, I’ve had this terrible feeling inside of me.

Unknown in its existence, but nonetheless intense.

I fight within myself to stay rooted to my seat when all I want to do is burst through the door and drag his ass back out before he ruins everything.

No matter how much we all want Remi, we can’t have her. I refuse to allow her to become someone she’s not. If she mates with us, she will lose her light. The bright, shining light that always encompasses her wherever she goes.

Day after day, she’ll smile a little less; before too long, she won’t smile at all.

Instead, she’ll turn into a robot like I am, where emotions are the furthest thing from her mind.

Showing any emotion is considered a weakness within the circle I’m a part of.

And once those sharks scent blood in the water, they’ll attack.

It’s within their very existence to do so.

She will hate her life with every fiber of her being. She will hate being with us.

I don’t want that for her. She deserves more. She deserves better. She’s too kindhearted to be thrust into my world without a life jacket to keep her afloat.

It’s not that I want someone else because I don’t. It’s the fact that I need someone who already has a thick skin and can handle the masses of vicious vipers without changing them.

Even if the thought of mating with anyone but Remi turns my stomach.

From our interaction at the restaurant, I could tell she was too innocent for my world.

Even if I couldn’t meet her eyes and looked anywhere but at her, I knew she wouldn’t make it.

She has that innocence that shines too bright to ever extinguish.

She didn’t appear to be a fighter, which is something I need.

My pack needs a hard-as-nails omega that will give it as good as she gets.

Even when we were in the restaurant, and Remi was voicing her apparent dislike for my … our decision, she never once raised her voice. She didn’t bite back or fight with the viciousness that our omega needs to have. She was soft-spoken, her words barely louder than a whisper.

My heart breaks every time I think of what we’re doing to her, the way we have to turn her away. The pain I’m causing her. Maybe in another life, we could be something to one another, but not in this one.

My father may have been my hero, but his cold, detached demeanor sucked all the innocence out of me before I even knew what was happening. He turned me into the stoic, cold, steel-faced politician I am today.

He took the fun out of existing, and I refuse to do the same to Remi.

It’s why we need to get Tripp out of there before he makes a mistake. Before he wrestles her even deeper than she already is. His words from earlier swirl around my mind on repeat, and I’ve tried to make sense of them.

We have a perfect omega right in front of us, and you want to throw her away for someone we don’t share this type of connection with?

No matter how many times I think about his words, I can’t figure out what connection he’s talking about. I never looked into her eyes to feel a pull or connection. I couldn’t scent her well enough to get a good read on her because she had too much perfume on.

I know I’m fucked up.

Boone and Tripp don’t hold my upbringing against me. I know it angers them, especially in this situation. They say we have this connection to Remi, except I don’t know what connection he’s talking about.

I'm familiar with scent match mates and the attraction they supposedly have. Every omega and alpha is taught about scent match mates when they’re young.

But I’ve never really seen the connection in person.

Every person I’m surrounded by is in an arranged mating.

Even my parents have an arranged mating.

I grew up sheltered from the world, with tutors, nannies, and people who came to our home on the Upper West Side of Cedar Hill. I hardly ever left home.

If you can’t put it together on your own, don’t expect me to help you.

“Boone, when we get in there, I need you to promise you will go with what I will say.”

He gives me a look, but I don’t meet his eyes. My gaze stays rooted on the front door of Remi’s home. My emotions are a storm inside of me, and I really don’t want to do what I’m about to do.

“Knox?” There’s a question there in his voice.

This time, I do meet his eyes. I see the worry swirling inside his gaze, and I know, without a doubt, that I need to explain to him what’s going through my mind.

Boone and Tripp are not mind readers. Yet I know just as soon as I explain to Boone where my head is at, he’s going to go off the deep end.

I sigh. “Boone, promise me. I know I’m asking a lot from you and Tripp, but please, I need you to promise me that you’ll follow me in what I’m about to do.”

“Knox, I need to know what you’re about to do and why you’re doing it. I can’t go into this blind.”

Just thinking about why I’m pushing Remi away hurts. It’s a pain that cuts me deep, leaving jagged, open wounds. Pain cripples me, so much so I rub the ache in my chest as if that will make it go away.

“I can’t change her,” I whisper, pained.

“Change her?”

Tears blur my eyes. “Boone, I can’t change her. If she mates with us, then she will eventually hate us, me especially. My world will change her forever.”

“You make it sound like she’s not strong,” he replies, his voice holding a sharp edge of anger.

“It’s not that she’s not strong enough, Boone. It’s that she shouldn’t have to be anything to be with us.

Boone sits there for a minute, and I can practically hear him contemplating everything I’ve said. The tears brimming in my eyes fall when I blink, my eyes staying glued to her front door.

I feel like a pussy, showing this type of emotion. Usually, I’m not this type of person. However, when it comes to Remi, I’m no longer sure what kind of person I am. I have shown more emotion within the last week than I have my entire life, and I know Remi is the cause of that.

Shit. It’s not her fault I am the way I am. For the first time in so long, I’m feeling things again. I’m not running through life, barely able to catch my breath.

I know she is the root cause of it.

I also know that after tonight, I’m going to ruin everything.

“I don’t think you’re giving her enough credit,” he replies in a soft voice.

“Tripp isn’t the only one that’s been watching her.

I have, too. I can’t tell you how many times I have driven past Sip-A-Brew just so I could see her smiling face.

You don’t know how many times I have snuck inside just to be able to scent her and feel our connection. ”

A flare of anger hits me. “See. That’s what I’m talking about. The night we met her at the restaurant, I was a coward. I couldn’t look her in the eye. I looked everywhere but at her.”

“You had to have scented her, though. I mean, Tripp and I did instantly.”

“I couldn’t get past the cloying smell of her perfume,” I say between gritted teeth. “The only thing I smelled was the floral scent of roses.”

His head whips toward me, a look of disbelief on his face. I meet his gaze. “Are you kidding me?” His eyes narrow at me. “While you were being a dick, you couldn’t even look her in the eye?”

I shake my head.

“Wow. I know you’re a lot of things, man, but I didn’t expect you to be so ignorant.”

“Shut it,” I retort with a bit of an alpha bark in my voice.

I instantly feel like shit. It’s not Boone’s fault that he’s right. I am ignorant.

“Knox, man, all you have to do is look into her eyes. Just look into them only once. You will feel the connection that burns inside Tripp and me. We feel it. We yearn for it. It’s hard for us to stay away from her. Each day we live without her is another day of hell.”

“You’re saying she’s our scent match?” I ask, a nagging sensation of terror flares up inside of me. “What if she’s not mine?”

“There’s no way she’s not yours, too. You, Tripp, and I share a connection with each other. What’s ours is yours. I’m telling you, Remi will surprise you. She’s a strong woman if only given the chance.”