Page 18

The moment I opened my eyes, I immediately wished I hadn’t.

Faint sun rays poured in through the windows, and the sing-song chirps of the birds floated in through the cracks. I wanted to curse them out for being so happy and free of real-life problems, like the shithole I’d dragged myself into.

It wasn’t extremely bright outside, and the mild cracks of thunder hinted at an incoming rain shower.

With hot, stinging tears gathering at the corners of my eyes, I snatched a pillow, pressed it against my face, and screamed till my heart’s content.

Never in my life had I ever felt so conflicted.

How?

How could I let go like that? How could I have allowed myself to be unraveled like that and, worse, by my best friend’s father? How could I betray Katya like that? Where was my sense of morality? Where the fuck was my decency when I needed it the most?

And why— oh, why —did I not feel the smallest regret about the night we’d shared?

Even allowing myself to remember every moment only stirred and awakened those forbidden desires, starting from the time he’d kissed me, to the second he’d dropped to his knees and eaten me out.

I thought I died and came back to life when his lips covered my pussy and his tongue stroked my clit. He hadn’t known it, but I was almost ready to hit an orgasm. The sex we had was the climax. I never imagined my first time would be so exhilarating.

My entire body throbbed continually for him all night, even after I ran out of his bedroom with my heart thrashing around in my chest. I wanted to do things with that man: dirty, slutty things. I wanted to give him all of myself, to let him take until I had no more to give.

My desire for him scared the shit out of me, and I screamed again into the pillow because now, I remembered how pissed Robert had been the minute I emerged again in the main hall. I’d never felt more guilty before.

I thought he’d been able to see right through me and watched as Damien and I fucked while he helplessly waited and wandered around with my purse, possibly scared that I’d been abducted.

When I looked at him, all I had seen was my boss. It had taken me a while to remember I’d even kissed him, just before Damien stormed in.

“What the hell happened? Who was that? Where did he take you?”

Shyly, I pried my purse from his hands because he was too distracted by his anger to hand it to me, and I smoothed my hair. “Robert, I’m so terribly sorry. I can’t even….”

“Elena, you can talk to me.” He placed both hands on my arms and searched my face with worry. “Did that man hurt you?”

Hurt me?

That man fucked me until I forgot my own name. He made me forget everything, stripped me of self-control and every shred of decency, with just his mouth and hands, and he didn’t even have to talk too much. That man….

“He’s Katya’s father.” My heart clenched. “They’ve been having some family problems, and he, um, thought I’d been a bad influence on his daughter. Rob, he just wanted to talk. It was scary at first, but he meant no harm. His intentions were pure.”

Or anything but pure.

Part of that explanation wasn’t entirely a lie, but it wasn’t true either.

However, Robert didn’t seem convinced. “He shoved me and dragged you away because he just wanted to talk about his family problems with your best friend, at her birthday party?”

I managed a small smile. “Sounds crazy, huh? But he’s not exactly soft or subtle. He didn’t hurt me; that, I can assure you, and he calmed down once we talked things over…about mine and Katya’s friendship, of course.”

And not about how I badly, terribly, and shamelessly wanted him to fuck me.

Robert visibly relaxed and cupped my cheeks softly. But unlike contact with Damien, this felt more platonic on my end.

“Then, if that’s settled, I’ll cut to the chase and go right to it: that kiss, Elena. Fuck, I can’t stop thinking about it—”

I almost didn’t remember it.

“—I don’t want you to rush you into anything but—”

“Rob, if it’s okay with you, can we talk about it some other time? It’s just that I’ve had a pretty long night, and that conversation with Da—Katya’s father was very…intense. I need to lie down, maybe cry for a bit, and drink a cup of hot chocolate. Katya will understand if I have to leave now.”

She would think it was because of Jaz or Nana.

Robert gave a half-hearted smile but didn’t press further. “Sure, sure. Some other time. Come, I’ll take you home.”

My phone buzzed on the nightstand, and I picked it up. A message from Mr. Stone.

Hello, Elena. Happy weekend. I guess I’m texting to know if today’s a good day to grab a bite at lunch. No pressure. :?-?)

Another scream into the pillow, and more tears rolled down my face. I felt like the most terrible human being on the planet.

I turned the phone face down and continued staring at the ceiling. I tried to convince myself that it had only been one night. One moment of weakness wrapped in warmth and want. A touch I shouldn’t have craved. A kiss I should’ve pushed away from, but I hadn’t.

And I knew if I didn’t pull the plug, I would keep thirsting for more of him.

So, I told myself it was over. That it had to be. I’d bury it deep and never speak or think of it again, despite how hard that would be. I owed that much to Katya; she meant more to me than crazy sex with her father. Our friendship trumped everything else.

My phone buzzed again, and I snatched it up before the screen even lit up, bracing myself for a follow-up text from Robert.

But relief and dread washed over me when I saw that it was Katya.

Could she already know?

“Hey, Kat! What’s up?” I answered, forcing cheer into my voice. “About last night, I’m so sorry again for leaving without telling you. Jaz and Nana—”

“Lena, how many times do I have to tell you I’m good? I was so tired that I didn’t know when more than half of the guests had left. We’re good, trust me. Besides, that’s not why I called,” she chirped, her voice bright. “Guess what?”

She had a new stepmom? If so, congratulations were in order. Maybe that would help me get rid of Damien-thoughts once and for all, even if it felt like someone rammed a stake right through my chest.

“What?”

“You won’t believe who reached out to me this morning with a birthday text?

Starling Records! I’d sent a proposal a few months ago, and, well, I guess the noise around my birthday pulled some attention.

Shit, Lena, do you know how big those guys are?

They’re on the top list of record labels in fucking LA.

Heck, maybe in the entire States. But do you know what the best part is? ”

“Oh, my goodness. The suspense is killing me!”

Loud car noises floated from her background, so I put the phone on speaker to hear her more audibly.

“I got a project! I’ll be composing for them! For a real fucking record! Can you believe that?”

She squealed, and I smiled genuinely, my heart tugging with pride. “Oh, my God, that’s amazing! My best friend’s going to become a celebrity!”

“I know, right? I’m in shock myself. I can’t believe it. It’s all happening so fast—wait, I’m walking over to my—” A horn blared through the phone speaker before a loud, terrified scream ripped through.

“Kat….” It was noisy, with the sounds of more cars and people shouting in the distance. An uncomfortable dread coiled in my chest, and I kicked the covers, hopping off the bed. “Kat? Hello? Are you there?”

Nothing from Kat, and then…silence.

The line went dead.