Page 110 of Kiwi Sin

More.

I was wailing, and he was doing it harder, keeping it going. All I could think was,Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Don’t STOP.

“Oriana?” Ms. Christie asked. “Did you have something to share?”

My head jerked up. I said, “Uh … no. No, miss. Sorry.”

I’d made anoise.And I was wet again! Inschool!

Valerie Stewart, who sat beside me, was staring at me. So was the girl on my other side, whose name was Stephanie. I smiled weakly, knew my face was flushed red, and thought,This is such a sin.

And I couldn’t care.

I had lunch next, fortunately. I stopped in the toilets first, splashed water on my face, breathed in and out, dried my face and hands with paper towels, looked in the mirror, and thought:

How can I go to Hell for this, when it feels this good? Doesn’t Godwantme to feel good? I know I’m not married, but Iwantto be married! Doesn’t that count?

I can’t remember what I learnt the rest of the day.

47

SINS OF THE FATHERS

Gabriel

I paid attention at work on Monday. I had to, or I was going to have another accident like the one with the can opener, and Gray wouldn’t trust me anymore. I needed him to trust me, because I needed to keep earning a good wage. I needed that flat with a balcony, or a patio, so Oriana could have herbs and vegies in pots. I needed a good kitchen for her, so she could make the dinners she wanted to cook for us.

I needed a good bedroom, too. With a big bed.

I wanted to go see her after work. Instead, I went to my dad’s.

Harmony and Patience were still doing the washing-up when I got there, because I’d eaten something quick from the microwave and driven straight over. They looked up when I came through the kitchen, but Patience didn’t sparkle at me nearly as much as usual.

I stopped and asked her, “Doing OK?”

“Yes,” she said, and tried to smile.

“You were brave yesterday,” I told her. “Good on ya.”

She bit her lip and looked down, and Harmony asked, “Does a man … does he mind, about things like that? Does it make him …”

“It makes him furious,” I said. “It makes him filthy. It makes him want to kill the bas— the man who did it. If it changes how he feels about her, though, he’s not much of a man.”

Patience asked, “Are you going to marry Oriana?”

“Yes.” I wanted to add something else, but I couldn’t think what. Finally, I said, “Some good man’s going to love you like mad someday. He’s going to be lucky.” I hoped it was the right thing to say. I hoped it was enough.

Dad asked, “Are you here for a reason?” I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, or what he was feeling.

It doesn’t matter. You’re here to tell him whatyou’rethinking.

“Yeh,” I said. “To talk to you. D’you want to take a walk?”

His eyebrows rose, but he said, “All right.” It was raining again, but tonight, I felt like the walls couldn’t hold me.

He waited until we were walking, then said, “I assume this is about Oriana.”

“It’s about everything,” I said. “But, yeh, it’s about Oriana. I’ll marry her as soon as we’re able to. I’d like to have your blessing, but I’ll marry her anyway.”