Page 9

Audrey

“ N othing here either,” Cassian says with a huff before another book hits the table.

I snort, rolling my eyes. “Lucifer already told us that there were only three ways to remedy rejected mate syndrome. I don’t know why you keep looking through books that are just going to tell you the same damn thing.”

“Lucifer doesn’t know everything,” Donovan argues, and I shrug.

That might be true. I have no idea. I’ve met my father once and spent a few hours with him. I’m definitely not the best judge of what he might or might not know. But it feels like he was telling the truth .

Brenden’s arms tighten around me, and I bury my face in his neck.

Neither of us are doing well.

It’s been over two days since we last saw Nex. I don’t know if the others said something to him after I left or if he’s just taking me at my word, but he hasn’t shown his face since then. I also know that’s going to change.

Lucifer called this morning to let us know the first war council was being held tonight. I wish he would’ve given us a few more details before hanging up on my mate, but I get the feeling he does nothing he doesn’t want to do.

I run my nose along Brenden’s neck before nipping at his skin. I’m not trying to start anything with him—let’s just say that being rejected by your mate puts a damper on your libido—I’m just trying to get a reaction out of him. Something. Anything.

He’s completely shut down, and I don’t just mean his emotions. He has eaten nothing in the last two days and has been refusing blood for just as long. He won’t even feed from me, which is unlike him.

All he does is cling to me as he stares off into space. He barely responds when anyone speaks to him—even me .

The worst part is that I’m in no place to help him through this. Unlike him, I can’t just cut off my emotions. I can’t stop losing myself in the abyss of desolation inside of me.

Most mornings, all I want to do is stay in bed and sleep. I know my other mates are worried about us, but I just can’t seem to pull myself out of this.

When I was alive, I dealt with a few bouts of depression, but I was one of the lucky ones. It was never there for long, and I could still function. This is nothing like that.

I would love nothing more than for it to stop.

Another heavy sigh leaves me when I realize Brenden isn’t going to respond.

I don’t know what else to do. If I felt up to it, I’d suck his cock and see if that would get a response out of him. Maybe I can work myself up to that.

I’m a terrible fucking mate.

“Wraith, you texted Celeste, Diana, Melody, and Warren, right?” I ask, even though he’s already assured me at least ten times that they’ll be there.

“Yes, Audrey. I texted them. They’ll be there.” Wraith apparently has endless patience because not an ounce of annoyance slips into this tone.

I hum, trying to sit up, but Brenden’s hold only tightens. Giving up, I lay back down on top of him and suck his scent into my lungs. We’re laid out on the couch in the living room while Donovan, Wraith, and Cassian pour over books, looking for another way to cure rejected mate syndrome.

I know they’re not going to find anything—even if I have no idea how I know that. I wish they would just listen to me and give up.

“Do you need help getting up, little mate?”

I turn my head to find Cassian kneeling beside me. “No. I’ll stay here as long as Brenden needs me. Or until we have to go to the meeting. How much longer?”

Cassian glances at his watch and makes a face. “We should actually head out soon. Wraith, the meeting is starting in ten minutes.”

“Damn it!” Donovan hurls a book into the wall, and if I hadn’t watched it happen, I would’ve jumped at the loud thump it makes when it hits. “Why can’t we find anything?”

“Because there’s nothing to find, Donovan,” I tell him gently. “But it’s okay. For now, we need to get ready for this meeting. I don’t think Lucifer is going to appreciate me showing up in booty shorts and a crop top.”

Cassian grins. “He might not, but I’d love to see his face if you did.”

Wraith slaps him on the back of the head before leaning over. “Brenden, can you please let Audrey up? We need to get ready for the war council meeting.”

Instead of answering, Brenden’s arms fall away and Cassian helps me off him. He leads me toward the stairs, and when I glance back, I see Wraith and Donovan helping Brenden stand as well.

Tears prickle at the back of my eyes. I hate seeing him like this.

I blink, and the tears are gone. I force my head forward to watch where I’m going so Cassian doesn’t have to do all the work for me.

When he sits me on our bed and ducks into the closet, I know he’ll pull out clothes for all of us. All I have to do is stay right here and make sure I don’t lose myself to the anguish that’s always trying to pull me down.

Pain hits me square in the chest when I see Brenden being led into the room. He doesn’t even look at me as they sit him beside me on the bed .

I have to make this right for him. I can’t live like this. I don’t want to live like this. And I certainly don’t want to lose my mate because of it.

Maybe it’s time to really consider what Lucifer said the other night.

Can I complete the bond with Nex without forgiving him? Or will it tear me apart even more?

A glance at Brenden has me steeling my resolve. It doesn’t matter if it’ll hurt me more. This is no way to live, and I want my mate back—all of my mates.

Not Nex, though.

If I bond with him, he’ll be a mate in name only.

Decision made, hope rises in me for a moment and then two before being sucked down beneath the sorrow.

Cassian has to help me dress because I don’t have the energy to do it myself. It takes both Donovan and Wraith to dress Brenden, and I know I’ve made the right decision. No matter what comes of it, I’m going to do whatever I have to in order to bring Brenden back to me.

My mating with Nex won’t be enough. Somehow, I’ll need to get through to Brenden so he can agree to mate with him as well. Although, I believe their bond started the night we shared with the other man. Maybe all I need is for Nex to complete the bond with him.

As much as I’m horrified by the idea—even though it only lasts a few seconds—I think I need to talk to Lucifer more about this. Maybe I can do that after the meeting.

“Do you think you can shadow walk and bring me with you, little mate?” Cassian’s face appears in front of mine, and I blink up at him.

“What?”

Cassian’s smile is strained, and I can see the worry in his eyes. “Donovan and Wraith are going to take Brenden with them, but I can’t shadow walk. Can you take me with you?”

I nod. “Of course.”

He pulls me to my feet, and I link our fingers together before stepping into the shadows.

I might not know the exact location of the room we’re meeting in, but I know it’s at the palace—which I will not be calling the House of Hades.

I don’t care what the demons call it, but I won’t be using that name. It’s ridiculous.

When we step out of the shadows, we’re in the kitchen .

Cassian looks around with a frown. “Something tells me this isn’t where we’re meeting.”

“It’s not.” Lucifer’s booming voice bounces off the walls as he walks in with Wren at his side.

Well, shit. I hadn’t thought about how my sister was going to get here.

Not only am I a shitty mate, but I’m also a shitty sister.

“I thought you might end up here,” Lucifer says with a soft smile, reaching out to shake Cassian’s hand. “Cassian, do you remember where the war council room is?”

Cassian glances between me and my father before nodding. “I do.”

“Excellent. If you’ll head up there, I’d like a moment to speak with my daughters.”

Cassian’s eyes lock with mine. “Audrey?”

I wave him off. “Go ahead. I need to speak with him about something, anyway.”

“If you’re sure.” He kisses the top of my head before stepping away. “I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

“Love you, too,” I echo back, mostly out of habit. I do love him, but it’s hard to remember that right now. Or maybe remember is the wrong word .

As soon as Cassian is gone, Wren turns to me with narrowed eyes. “And what do you need to speak with him about?”

When I don’t respond, Lucifer chuckles. “Can I assume that this has to do with what we spoke about?”

I nod, keeping my eyes locked on Wren. She knows I’m keeping something from her, and that hurts her, but there’s no way I’m talking to him about this with her here.

My sister loves me, but she wouldn’t approve. I don’t need her trying to talk me out of what I need to do.

“Wren, why don’t you head up to the meeting room so I can talk with Audrey?”

My twin crosses her arms over her chest, and I know she’s about to lose her shit.

“Wren.” Lucifer’s voice is stern as he waits for her to look at him.

“You and Audrey are close, but that doesn’t mean you get to know everything that’s going on with her.

Just like she doesn’t get to know everything that’s going on with you.

If she wants you to know, she’ll talk to you about it, but right now, she’s not ready.

It’s not fair of you to expect that she is. ”

My sister’s face falls as she nods. “Of course. You’re right. I’m sorry, Ree. ”

She gives me a tight hug before disappearing down the long hallway.

When I open my mouth to speak, he holds up his hand as his head tilts to the side. Finally, he nods. “Okay, she went where she was supposed to. What can I do for you?”

“I’ve decided you’re right. I’m going to complete the mate bond with Nex.

We’ll deal with everything else later, but right now, I’m worried about Brenden.

I think they have a one-sided bond right now because Brenden bit him…

” I trail off, not wanting to talk to my dad about one of my mates railing the other.

Lucifer grimaces. “I think I get the idea. It’s hitting him harder?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. He told me he was locking away his emotions—whatever that means—so he could be there for me. But since you revealed there was never a curse, he’s eaten nothing—not even blood. He’s stopped responding when we speak to him.”

“I’m sure he thought locking away his emotions would help, but it’s possible it made things worse. Especially if he has a one-sided bond.” Lucifer shakes his head. “I’m going to kill that demon.”

“No,” I blurt out. “No killing Nex. ”

Lucifer rolls his eyes. “Fine, okay. Maybe some light torture? A little maiming.”

My hand goes to my chest as pain flares there as if pushing on it will ease it. “No.”

“Shit. I’m sorry. Of course. No threatening the asshole. Got it.” He makes a face. “I’ll talk with him after the meeting and see if there is a partial bond.”

“That’s great and all, but what if I can’t get Brenden to agree to bond with Nex?”

“Then you’re going to have to tell Nex to do it, regardless. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but if Brenden cannot consent, you’re going to have to decide for him.”

Yeah, I don’t like that at all. Can I force a bond on Brenden that he might not want?

“We’ll figure this out, Audrey.” Lucifer pulls me into his side, and for some reason, I believe him.

Is this what it means to have a dad? To have someone always in your corner?

Will he always be in my corner, though? Only time will tell.

“Come on, let’s get to the meeting before your mates come looking for you. ”

I allow Lucifer to lead me down the hallway to the room where we’re meeting, wondering if I really have what it takes to get this done.