Page 77 of Kiss Her Goodbye

“Bart Boy likes the bar scene, drag and otherwise.We bonded one night over our shared love of chicken-fried steak.Told him I made the best he’d ever have.And I was right.He offered me a permanent position before he even finished the dish.’Course, I still have Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights to strut my stuff.No girl wants to be too domesticated.”She gives me a look.“Judging by how many times you check your phone, guessing you’re struggling with some man trying to clip your wings?”

“They don’t clip.That’s the problem.Doesn’t matter the person, place, or thing.Sooner or later I just have to go.”

“It’s not something you choose; it’s someone you are.”Genni nods.“People come in all types, honey.You just gotta be you.”

“Sometimes being me sucks.”

“Welcome to the club, my friend.Welcome to the club.”

I regard her for a moment.“Have you met Roberta?”I ask her curiously.

“You mean Daryl’s dance partner and unrequited love?”She arches a brow.

“You think Roberta knows?”

“Girl, I’ve watched them dance together.How any woman can be held like that and not know… Mmm-hmm.”

“And her husband?”

“Nice enough.A little too vanilla for my tastes, but you know what they say about opposites attracting.”

“She’s the fire, he’s the rock?”

“Or that’s the lie they tell themselves to keep on keeping on.”

“Do you think Daryl has a violent streak?I mean he’s kinda got this whole reformed ex-con, gentle giant thing going on.But then again…”

“Still waters…” Genni agrees.

“I thought… I thought I saw blood on his shirt last night.”

“Did you ask him about it?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know.”It’s a good question.“I mean, he definitely didn’t cut himself shaving.Whatever else happened, maybe I didn’t want to know.”

“And now?”

“I think he would kill for her.Watching them together this afternoon.Daryl would kill for Roberta, no questions asked.”

“Sounds damn sexy when you put it that way.”Genni shivers delicately.

I trace a final line down Petunia’s soft, leathery skin.“Lately, it feels to me like there’s way too many people willing to kill for each other.Maybe we need some people desperate to live for each other instead.Because I’m honestly not sure how much more of this I can take.”

CHAPTER 29

IWAKE UP THE NEXT MORNINGfeeling completely disoriented.The sun is streaming in through a crack in the curtains, and I can hear a noise that is both mystifying and familiar.Children’s laughter.Coming from outside, along with the sound of splashing water.

I lie beneath the lazy twirl of the ceiling fan and take a moment to listen.More splashing.A girl’s high-pitched squeal.The lower murmur of accompanying adults.Zahra and company.Daryl, I’m guessing, probably Aliah and maybe Roberta as well.All taking advantage of Wonder Boy’s toy-stocked swimming pool.

If I continue to stay right here, I can close my eyes and pretend I’m really a guest at a luxurious resort.Maybe on vacation from my high-stress job.And accompanied, naturally, by my sexy boyfriend who’s gone to fetch coffee.Soon he’ll be back to rejoin me in bed, where we’ll wake up properly with the help of caffeinated beverages and toe-curling sex.Afterward, I will lie with my head on his chest while he strokes my hair.

He’ll tell me he loves me and has never been so happy.

And I’ll say… Please don’t ever leave.Please come back even after I push you away.Please know me and understand me and forgive me, because I still don’t know how to do any of those things for myself.