Page 31 of Kingdoms of Tides and Twilight (A World of Sun and Shadow #2)

R enya trembled, focusing on reaching out to Kalora with her magic. She managed to grasp her outstretched fingers, but that was it. The golden threads of her power shimmered in the air between them, delicate and wispy.

“You have to concentrate, Renya,” Kalora urged, her voice a mix of encouragement and frustration. “It will come easier over time, but right now you need to keep your mind blank.”

Renya took a deep breath, centering herself. She reached out again, pushing her magic out of her body. The golden strands shone and sparkled in the light, dancing like sunbeams through leaves.

Your magic is almost as beautiful as you are.

She lost control and her magic splintered, going in a thousand different directions before dissipating throughout the throne room. The sudden loss left her feeling hollow and drained.

Grayden! Don't talk to me. I'm supposed to be keeping my mind blank.

“What was that?” Kalora asked, astonished at the sudden outburst. “What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing in particular,” Renya lied, her cheeks flushing. She and Grayden had decided to keep their newfound abilities to themselves for now.

“Well, whatever you did seemed to have helped. Your magic responded more strongly that time.”

See? I'm helping you.

Renya sighed and tried to clear her mind again. But she couldn't help but hear Grayden's thoughts as soon as he had them. She wasn't sure if he was doing it on purpose to try and make up for the intrusion into her thoughts earlier, or if he just couldn't control it. It was a strange sensation, almost as though she had a commentator narrating her life.

Turning to the side of the room, Renya tried to empty her thoughts. Instead, she caught a glimpse of Selenia talking with Julietta in low tones. Selenia looked better, the sadness replaced by a simmering anger. Renya could almost feel it radiating off of her. She hadn't gotten a chance to talk with Selenia yet about her conversation with Jurel, but she hoped this would be enough closure so she could begin to heal and move on.

Julietta said something to Selenia, and she smiled. It was a tiny smile, but it was something. Renya felt it was a positive sign. Selenia was young and she hoped she would bounce back quickly. She was too lively and spirited to stay down for long.

“Renya, are you listening? Try it again.” Kalora's voice cut through her musings.

Renya dropped her thoughts of Selenia and did as Kalora asked. She drew a quick breath, her lungs expanding as far as they could, and then released it, trying to push her powers out. Nothing happened. She focused again, but she couldn't bring them forward. She felt like a flowerless vase, about to tip over from a high place. She was unbalanced and empty.

“I think we should call it a day,” Grayden said gently. “I want to have a word alone with Renya, if you don't mind.”

Kalora nodded and swept out of the room, her gown of bird feathers trailing behind her. She reminded Renya of an owl, her sharp eyes missing nothing. She could be harsh, but not unfairly so. She pushed Renya hard but realized her limitations as well.

Julietta and Selenia waltzed out together, and Renya watched them walk in the same direction. She was glad to see Selenia had a friend her own age. While she enjoyed being her confidant, she knew as her brother's mate there were probably things Selenia didn't want to disclose to her.

The chamber was empty. Grayden moved from his spot in the corner over to the middle of the room, where she stood, tired and exhausted. He wrapped his arms around her before resting his chin on the top of her head. “Do you feel like these lessons are helping?”

Renya gnawed on the inside of her cheek. “I mean, I've been able to manifest my power, which is more than I could do before. But I feel like I've stalled. When my mind is clear, I can't seem to feel or reach my power at all. It's almost as though it's gone.”

Grayden pulled back and looked at her thoughtfully, brushing her hair out of her face. Some of the strands had fallen loose from her braid and were curling around her face. “Maybe that's not the way your magic works. Your powers might be different because you're from the Sun Realm. Or maybe because they were locked within you, you have to access them differently.”

“How do you access yours?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, thinking. “I'm not exactly sure. I've had them my entire life, so it's almost instinctive. When I need to use it, it's there. Now, not so much. But before...” He trailed off, and Renya hurt for him. He never seemed to mention it or dwell on it, but the loss of his powers must bother him.

“When was the last time you used them?”

“In the forest with you and Brandle. I haven't had magic since then. At this point, I'm worried it might be all gone.”

“Oh, Grayden. I'm so sorry. How do you know for sure?”

“It's complicated, and I'm not entirely certain. But if you think of fire burning on a log, you need fuel to keep it burning. That's the log. But without air, you can't have the fire either. It's a balance. The fuel is the time it takes me to recharge, and the air is the total power I have left. They work together. But as there becomes less and less oxygen, the flames burn lower and less intense. Does that make sense?”

“I think so.”

“Will you do something for me?”

“Yes...”

“Try it one more time, but this time, don't clear your mind. Reach out to me. Just focus on touching me with your magic. Just react.”

She closed her eyes.

“Eyes open, Little Fawn. The enemy will take advantage of you like that.”

Grayden paused, then added, “Remember the avalanche, Renya? You didn't think then—you just reacted. Your magic came to you naturally in that moment of crisis. Maybe that's the key—not overthinking it, but letting your instincts guide you.”

Renya's eyes widened as the memory flooded back. In that terrifying moment, facing the wall of snow, she hadn't hesitated or questioned. Her power had simply answered her need.

She focused on Grayden before her, and once again tried to pull her magic together and force it out. At first, she couldn't access it at all.

You can do it. Just picture it like it's already happened.

At his words, she envisioned her magic, hot like the sun, reaching around him. She let go of her doubts and fears, tapping into the same instinct that had protected them during the avalanche. And then, it wasn't a vision. The golden cords wrapped around him, pulsing in a field of electricity.

“You're doing it!”

Renya was able to hold up the golden strands for a few seconds longer before they slipped away into the air of the throne room. The room felt warmer than it did before, and Grayden's face was red like he was sitting in front of a roaring fire for too long.

“Are you okay?” she asked, running over to him as fast as she could on her tired legs. He looked up at her, his eyes full of pride.

“That's my girl,” he said, reaching up and stroking her cheek. “You are dazzling.”

“But are you okay?”

“A little warm, that's all. Your magic feels heated and untamed. I think that's why emptying your mind doesn't work. Your magic lacks discipline. Whereas Kalora is in strict control of hers, yours works with emotion and desire.”

She reached out and brushed his cheek, feeling the heat slowly beginning to fade. Renya felt both giddy and exhausted, the emotions threatening to overwhelm her. Her body felt oddly heavy, as if the power had a substantial hold on her.

He put his arm around her, and she allowed herself to lean into his tall body, taking the support he offered. Even the walk back to their room drained her, and by the time they were back in their chambers, Grayden was half-carrying her. He picked her up and lifted her gently on the bed, taking off the satin shoes she was wearing.

“You don't need to undress me,” she said, pushing down her silk trousers. “I can do it myself.”

“Trust me, I know you are more than capable of doing whatever you want. It's not a weakness to allow me to help you. You're exhausted, and I feel useless here. Orien left this morning with his half of the men, Dimitri following. There's nothing for me to do here except watch out for you. So please, let me put you to bed.”

She acquiesced and let him pamper her again. Before she knew it, she was tucked into the bed and oblivious to the world.

When Renya awoke, the sun was low in the sky, casting long shadows across the room. She felt refreshed, her magical exhaustion having dissipated during her nap.

Grayden was nowhere to be seen, but a note on her bedside table informed her that he had gone to discuss strategy with Queen Kalora.

Renya stretched, her muscles pleasantly sore from the day's exertions. As she rose from the bed, a soft knock came at the door.

“Come in,” she called, smoothing down her rumpled clothes.

The door creaked open, revealing Selenia and Julietta. Selenia's eyes were rimmed with red, a stark contrast to the anger Renya had seen earlier.

“Renya,” Selenia said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Can we talk?”

“Of course,” Renya replied, gesturing for the two girls to enter. They settled on the plush chairs near the fireplace, Julietta's hand resting supportively on Selenia's arm.

“I'm sorry if we woke you,” Julietta said, her eyes filled with concern. “We didn't know where else to go.”

Renya shook her head. “Don't apologize. I'm glad you came.” She turned her attention to Selenia. “How are you holding up?”

Selenia's lower lip trembled. “I thought I was doing better. I was so angry earlier, and that felt...easier. But now...” She trailed off, a sob catching in her throat.

Renya moved to kneel in front of Selenia, taking her hands. “It's okay to be sad, Selenia. What you're going through, it's not easy.”

“But I should be stronger than this,” Selenia protested. “I told him off, I stood up for myself. Why do I still feel so horrible?”

“Because you cared for him,” Renya said softly. “And caring for someone, even when they're not right for you, it leaves a mark. It's okay to mourn what could have been, even if you know it's for the best.”

Julietta nodded in agreement. “My mother always says that the heart doesn't always listen to reason. It's okay to feel conflicted.”

Selenia looked between the two of them, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. “I just...I feel so foolish. I thought he would change his mind. I thought I could be enough.”

Renya squeezed Selenia's hands. “Listen to me. You are more than enough. Jurel's inability to commit has nothing to do with your worth. Some people just aren't ready for the kind of love and commitment you're looking for, and that's on them, not you.”

“But what if I never find someone who wants what I want?” Selenia's voice was small, vulnerable.

Julietta spoke up, her voice gentle but firm. “You will. You're amazing, Selenia. Any man would be lucky to have you. And in the meantime, you have us. You're not alone.”

Renya nodded in agreement. “Exactly. And think of it this way—now you're free to find someone who truly deserves you. Someone who will cherish you and want the same things you do.”

Selenia managed a watery smile. “You really think so?”

“I know so,” Renya affirmed. “You're strong, Selenia. Stronger than you know. This pain won't last forever, I promise.”

Selenia leaned forward, wrapping her arms around Renya in a tight hug. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I don't know what I'd do without you.”