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Maude told Herrick about that day she ran from her fate. She told him about how she got her scar, how she had slaughtered the soldiers sent to stop her, and how her father had held her mother captive when she had gotten onto that wall.
Giving Herrick no reprieve, she continued telling him about where she had gone when she was running and how she discovered it was safer for her to hide in Logi after what happened in Brastone.
Maude talked until the late hours turned to early morning, and when she was done, she found that she was afraid to look at him.
Afraid to see what she knew had to be in his face— disgust for her.
The bed creaked, and Maude shut her eyes, expecting Herrick just to leave the room. She felt his fingers lift her chin. In her surprise, her eyes flew open to see Herrick standing in front of her with a heartbreakingly kind look in his eyes.
“Maude,” he began.
“Don’t,” she whispered.
“You just spoke for a few hours, and I listened to every word,” Herrick said, a sad smile on his face. “Now it’s my turn to say something.”
She nodded once, his fingers still gripping her chin.
“It’s not your fault,” he finally said, his voice soft.
His words slammed into her harder than they should’ve. Of course, he didn't understand. Of course, it was her fault.
“It is,” Maude responded, not meeting his eye.
“Helvig is responsible for your mother’s death, minn eldr , not you,” Herrick said slowly. “The way I see it, your actions are not responsible for the outcome. He is the reason your mother died, not you.”
His words didn’t change the guilt that hung over her. She had run away, and that choice had led to her mother’s death.
“She wouldn’t have been there if I hadn’t run,” Maude said, pulling away from Herrick and going to stand in front of the dresser.
“True,” he amended. “But she also told you to keep running. She told you to get out and leave her there, knowing she would die. She knew you needed to be free.”
Maude nodded reluctantly but didn't feel that agreement settle her soul.
“It’s not your fault, minn eldr ,” Herrick said again, moving to stand behind her. He reached out and brushed her hair aside so he could lean down, placing a gentle kiss where her shoulder met her neck.
Maude closed her eyes, savoring the feeling of his mouth on her skin.
“It doesn't change anything, Herrick,” Maude said breathily. “I’m dangerous.”
“Yes,” Herrick agreed as he ran his fingers down her side over her thin tunic. “I am constantly in danger of becoming more enamored with you.”
Maude’s temper flared. She turned and pushed Herrick back a step.
“I get people killed, Herrick. If that happened to you, I could never live with myself,” Maude almost shouted.
“I’ll be okay, minn eldr ,” Herrick began to say.
“You’re not listening to me!”
“I am listening, Maude, but what you’re saying is a bullshit excuse to keep running away from what you feel,” Herrick replied, his frustration becoming clearer. “Every day, I do things that could get me killed, Maude. I do them anyway because it's the right thing to do . ”
Maude put her hands on her hips when he spoke, his frustration only making her more attracted to him. Ridiculous .
“Loving you isn't going to get me killed any faster than any of the things I’ve done to keep this continent from falling back into war, so why can’t you just let me?” Herrick finished loudly, but Maude didn’t notice as she was stuck on something he had said.
She froze, eyes widening a fraction, muscles tensing at the shift between her and this insufferable man. His words hung between them, the deeper implications of them ringing around them like The Norns had been crafting this moment and now sat on the sidelines, watching it unfold.
Herrick must have noticed the look in her eyes, though, because he closed the space between them in two long strides, putting one hand on her hip and the other behind her neck.
Tightening his grip so she was forced to look at him, Maude’s hands flew up to his abdomen, the hard muscles there rigid with strain beneath her fingertips like he was forcibly keeping himself from getting any closer to her.
“I am not going to give up on you like you think I will. I am just as stubborn as you are,” he laughed softly, the sound vibrating through her. “I love you, minn eldr , and one day, you will be mine, but only when you are ready to be.”
Maude closed her eyes, swallowing the pain that shot through her heart at his words.
“What if I can never be yours?” she whispered, unable to muster any stronger words than the truth.
She could belong to no one when her father hunted her down like this. Besides, with the treaty between both kingdoms still intact, she could never be his .
“I will belong to no one but you, Maude. I will suffer whatever punishment the Allfather bestows if it means I am gifted with your affection.”
“I can belong to no one but myself in this world,” she said, but she knew the words were empty. She already belonged to him; he could just never know it. “And what about the treaty?”
“Fuck the treaty,” Herrick growled. “I know you don’t care about that.”
“I have been responsible for so much death and pain,” she whispered, looking up into his golden brown eyes and grasping at the last excuse she could muster. “I don’t deserve to belong to anyone, Herrick, especially not someone as good as you.”
“Tell me how I can prove you deserve more than what you believe,” he begged. He moved his hand from her hip and gripped her hand, placing it over his pounding heart. “Let me love you, Maude. Let me in.”
Maude felt Herrick’s heart racing beneath her fingers and could hear the desperation in his voice.
This was not lust, not something just physical.
This man had heard the worst parts of her history and chose to stand with her until she understood his feelings.
The hollow space in her chest where her heart should be began to ache and burn brightly, the sensation foreign and uncomfortable as Maude started to name the emotion.
Her heart had been still for so long, so cold and lonely. Herrick had made her feel alive again in the short amount of time they had been in each other's company.
She couldn’t hide that she physically reacted to him, but all the emotional turmoil she had been grasping onto had crumbled the walls she had built around herself.
She had let him in. Every time she lashed out, he stayed put and weathered her anger. She didn’t know how to be anything but the hard monster she had been forged into, but with Herrick, she felt like she could be the person she was meant to be.
Maude’s sense of self was spinning out of control, and all she could do was hold on to the one steady thing she had in her life.
She took in his ragged breaths, his pounding heart, his words.
I love you, minn eldr.
Herrick still held her one hand against his chest, so she reached up with her free hand and lightly traced over Herrick’s features.
His straight nose, high cheekbones, strong jaw, and, finally, his mouth. Herrick was frozen like he dared not move and break whatever he saw unfolding in her eyes. Maude’s fingers continued their exploration through his hair, the thick curls silky under her exploration.
Keeping one hand on Herrick’s chest, over his heart that beat just for her, Maude put her hand over his jaw, the rough stubble catching on her calloused palms. She finally met his eyes, their golden brown hue molten in the candlelight.
He smiled gently at what she knew he saw— her walls finally falling, allowing him into her heart and soul.
Never one for emotional words, Maude did the only thing she wanted to do at that moment. She wound her arms around Herrick’s neck and pulled his mouth to hers.
Herrick needed no encouragement to follow Maude’s lead. He had watched as her barriers fell, had watched as she finally heard what he was saying to her.
Her fingers latched onto the back of his neck as she hauled herself to his mouth, and he responded in kind by gripping her thighs, pulling her up to wrap her legs around him .
Maude kissed him the same way she would fight with him— hard and fast.
Teeth clashed as their tongues battled to taste the other with a fervor that grew each moment Herrick drowned in Maude’s taste.
She wove her fingers through his hair as he moved toward the wall, where he roughly pressed her back into the hard surface.
In response, Maude’s fingers tightened, and she pulled his head back so she could hover over him, deepening their kiss.
A growl deep from his chest sprang free when she held him in this position, so to even the score, he ground his hips between her thighs where she was completely at his mercy.
A moan escaped from her mouth that made Herrick become impossibly harder than he already was.
Needing to feel her skin, Herrick sat her on top of the low dresser in the room after swiping all her weapons to the floor.
The roaring of his heart dulled the clatter of her blades on the wood floor as he began to peel the clothing from her body.
Maude beat him to the task, though, by pulling his shirt from his waistband and running her hands under the fabric, her fingers tracing his muscled abdomen with a shockingly gentle touch.
Like she was savoring every touch of his skin on hers.
He broke their kiss to pull his shirt over his head, dropping it off to the side while Maude ran her nails down the front of his chest. She leaned forward, placing fevered kisses sporadically down where her nails had left red marks on his skin.
Intermittently, she bit down and then ran her tongue over the hurt spot, immediately soothing the bite of pain with pleasure.
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