Page 50

Sometime later, unable to sit still in her buzzed state much longer, Maude stood and asked if anyone else needed anything from the bar.

Hakon volunteered to go with her. They made their way through the growing crowd, dodging drunk men and women unwinding for the night.

A comfortable silence stretched between Maude and Hakon as they waited to be served.

Maude could feel Herrick’s eyes on her, but she willed herself to keep her back to him.

“I brought Herrick here to get his mind off some news he received today, you know,” Hakon said, breaking their silence .

“I figured you would be the one who needed to get away for a while,” Maude said to him carefully.

“I’ll admit that my reasons for bringing him here weren’t entirely selfless. I’m sure you remember what it was like, the responsibility,” he said quietly, scratching at a mark on the bar counter.

Maude said nothing. She could never forget the burden placed on her when she was so young. But Hakon was being forced to marry when she had been forced to become an assassin, a thief, and a killer—a monster.

Not wanting to burn the pub down in a fit of her emotions, she brushed it off and nodded.

“Yes, I remember. It’s not easy or pleasant having your entire life planned for you without factoring in what you want out of life,” Maude said, looking back at Eydis.

Maude’s eyes briefly landed on Herrick, who had also been glancing at her. She wondered what news he had received but dared not ask. Turns out, she wouldn’t have to.

“Funny enough, that’s what Herrick is struggling with right now.

Did you know there is a rule in the treaty between our kingdoms that prohibits members of each royal family from having a relationship?

Something about their children being too powerful with all four elements.

I believe that treaty rule extends to any mixing of galder , even amongst the citizens of each kingdom. ”

Maude froze as he processed his words. She waited for relief to fill her, but all that came was despair. For the second time in her life, she cursed the gods for the fate they dealt to her.

Clearing her throat, she said, “No, I did not know that.”

“I say to Hel with that,” Hakon grumbled.

Yes, he would feel that way , she thought.

Five steins of mead were placed in front of them, and Hakon flipped a few coins onto the counter. He grabbed three of the steins and turned to leave.

Before he walked off, he paused and said over his shoulder, “I say that we should get to be with who we love. I say we should get to do the things that light us up from within. I say we should get to choose.”

“Hear, hear,” Maude replied half-heartedly.

Hakon’s words echoed through her mind as she walked back to the table. She agreed with him, but that never changed anything. She had taken the coward's road and ran from her problems while Hakon was still clearly fighting for his right to choose how he wanted to live.

Yes, they should get to choose. That didn’t mean they would get to.

Hours later, their small party had finally left The Broken Axe and headed back for the palace. Liv and Eydis were laughing as they sang a crude song that had been playing earlier that night, swaying back and forth as Hakon laughed with them.

Maude had ended up in the back of the group with Herrick somehow, and the strained quiet between them was starting to weigh on her. Having downed another three tankards of ale before they finally left, Maude had begun to feel like the world was spinning around her.

Perhaps that last drink had been too much.

Maude’s head had been plagued with the information Hakon had dropped on her that night about the treaty rules.

She supposed it made sense to control the galder in family lines to limit any claims to the throne outside the royal families, but from what she knew and felt about her galder , it didn’t enjoy being restricted.

Maude also didn’t know what to do with the fact that she had felt so disappointed by the news when she should’ve felt relief.

She knew this was the right thing for her and Herrick, and yet she mourned.

Herrick had clearly been unhappy with the news.

So much so that he had tried to avoid her, and now he refused to speak to her.

Maude didn’t know what hurt more: the news that anything between them would not be tolerated or his evasion of her now that they both knew.

Herrick walked beside her stoically, but now and then, she felt his eyes on her, their golden hue almost glowing in the night.

Maude turned away from him quickly, but the alcohol in her system caused her to stumble. Before she could hit the ground, though, strong hands wrapped around her and pulled her up to her feet again. Feeling another wave of dizziness, her knees almost gave out, and she grasped Herrick’s shirt.

Liv, Eydis, and Hakon were far enough away now that their singing had become distant.

Maude knew that she should step back but she found herself unable to move away from the cage of his body.

Herrick’s grip on her loosened slightly while she relaxed her grip on his shirt, laying her palm flat on his chest and feeling the steady, rapid beat of his heart under her touch.

Maude looked up into Herrick’s face, unsure of what she would see. Her breath became shallow when she saw the pain in his eyes, so she withdrew and wrapped her arms around her chest. Herrick opened his mouth to speak but then closed it quickly.

They both turned to the palace and quickly made their way up the Grand Staircase to the floor that housed their rooms. Her earlier companions were nowhere to be found, so she was left to walk with Herrick alone.

As they neared the hall that would split and lead them each to their rooms, Maude stopped and faced Herrick. “You’ve been quiet today.”

“What would you like me to say, Maude?” Herrick asked, facing away from her .

The use of her name shouldn’t have been a knife to her heart.

“I don’t know, anything is better than this silence,” she huffed.

Herrick only looked at her for a moment before he started to turn toward his room and walk away.

“Hakon told me about what you found out this morning. I didn’t know about it either,” she said before he could make it any further down the hall. “Maybe this is for the best.”

Herrick turned and made his way to Maude so quickly she could barely brace herself.

“For the best?” He asked, his voice low.

Herrick backed Maude up against the wall and placed his arms on either side of her face.

“You can pretend that you don’t care, that this doesn’t affect you,” he whispered as he ran his knuckles down the side of her face, over her scar, and down her neck.

She shivered in response to his touch, eyes closing and back arching. Her body reacted to him before she could control it, the sensation overwhelming her at how right it felt.

“I am incapable of giving up on you, minn eldr ,” Herrick continued. “I left the palace today because I couldn’t be near you, and then you showed up anyway.”

“You act like I chose where Liv brought us,” Maude growled as she shoved Herrick away from her. “I wasn’t too keen on seeing you today either after you couldn’t seem to keep your nose out of my business.”

Yes, anger was what she needed, what she would fall back on.

This anger inside of her was her constant companion in life; it was so easy to slip back into his familiar grasp. She was getting too close to him, feeling too many things around him .

“All I did was ask you how you were coping. It’s not a crime to lean on your friends when you need them,” Herrick shouted, pushing his hair away from his face and running his hands through the almost-black chestnut strands.

“ Don’t ask me, Herrick. I don’t have friends. I just got roped into coming here with you, and now I can’t even get away from you on my own,” she seethed.

“You want to leave? Then go. No one will stop you.”

A challenge.

“As if you wouldn’t follow me to the Knotted Caverns to get your hands on the dalkr Hela before me,” Maude scoffed.

“We planned to leave together , Maude. We are still planning that, but I have responsibilities here that I can’t ignore,” Herrick bit out.

Maude turned her back to Herrick and paced as she recalled Hakon’s words about responsibility, and about how Herrick was struggling with his.

He had been morose all night. The easy conversation and jokes that floated from him were noticeably absent tonight. With all this in mind, she was finding it more challenging to rile him up than usual. She didn’t want to push him away. Which was why she needed to.

“I don’t need you, Herrick. I don’t need anyone. As soon as you get that into your head, you’ll be better off. You’re all better off—” she cut herself off before she could say more.

You’re all better off without me , she had almost said.

The words were true enough, but she had not meant to voice them. Herrick had caught on to what she almost let slip, and as he went to stand in front of her, Maude knew that if she looked up at him, her restraint would crumble .

She started to walk away, but Herrick put his hands on her shoulders to stop her.

“I would not be better off without you, minn eldr ,” Herrick said softly, his voice slightly cracking. “I stay away because I know if I am near you, my resolve will crumble and slip between my fingers. I will drown the world before I allow anyone to take you from me.”

Maude shook him off and walked past him.

“Don’t say such things, Herrick. We do not have the luxury of choice in our world,” she said quietly.

She kept walking until Herrick grabbed her hand. She stopped but did not face him. She could not look at him now.

“I know you don’t need me, but I… I think I may need you,” he said, moving closer up against her back. “I stayed away from you today because I don’t trust myself around you. To be near you and not be able to touch you, to make you laugh, would be to rip my heart from my chest and let me bleed.”

Herrick leaned down into her space, running his nose around the shell of her ear and into her hair. His hands made their way around her waist, his touch feather-light.

Instinctively, Maude tentatively placed her heated hands atop his cool skin, their touch creating steam that billowed around them. Herrick pulled her back to the hard, muscled wall of his warrior’s body, his fresh rain scent enveloping her entirely.

“Even fighting with you is something I look forward to. You drive me to the brink of insanity when you argue with me because I enjoy it so much, even when you’re wrong,” Herrick said, a smile in his voice.

Maude turned quickly, unsheathing her knife to hold under his chin at the comment .

Herrick was faster, though, and had been waiting for her to move because his hand snatched her wrist with the blade and twisted it behind her.

The movement forced her to step closer to him.

With one hand pinning her arm behind her back and the other still on her waist, he leaned ever closer to her mouth.

“You see what you do to me, minn eldr , and this is why I stayed away.”

“I didn’t go looking for you,” Maude said, trying one last time to slice into him in the name of self-preservation.

Maude finally looked up at him, praying to the Allfather that she would resist him.

“But you still found me,” he said, golden eyes seeing more than what others could.

Maude heard the double meaning in his words. Knew that he also realized that no matter how they fought against their feelings, fate was throwing them together. Maude took a shaky breath as he leaned closer. She watched his will crumble as her barriers followed.

She leaned into Herrick, throwing her anger aside and closing her eyes. His fingers wound their way through her hair, the unrelenting grip he had on her tightening as the tension between them intensified. Their lips were only millimeters apart.

“ Minn eldr .”

His voice trailed off as his hands pulled away from her heated skin, his cool breath sighing across her lips as he withdrew. When Maude opened her eyes again, she was alone in the hall.

Breathing heavily and silently scolding herself, Maude headed toward her door and quickly entered her room.

Finding herself blissfully alone as her handmaidens had long retired for the night, Maude walked straight for the large windows overlooking the city and thrust them open, allowing cool night air to flood her room .

“Foolish,” she said to herself, running her hands over her heated face and then through her hair, ripping the braids out as the silver clips fell to the floor like heavy raindrops bouncing off a tin roof.

She couldn’t allow him to unravel her like that again. It took only his words and a few soft touches, and she melted for him.

Maude vowed that she would speak with Gunnar tomorrow night and plan her departure. Nodding to herself, she undressed for bed. When she pulled her sheets back, Maude noticed a handwritten letter addressed to her with a gold embossed seal on the front bearing the royal seal.

Hands trembling, Maude broke the seal and withdrew the invitation to Hakon’s Betrothal Ball. Alva would not allow Maude to leave so soon, but perhaps Maude could escape in the dead of night before she could notice.

Thinking back on the memory of her mother making bullar with her and Bryn as children, Maude decided that she would leave Veter tomorrow night and head to the Knotted Caverns to retrieve the dalkr Hela without Herrick and his friends. Then, she would finally kill her father, the King of Flame.