Page 58 of Kingdom of Chaos (Creatures of Chaos #2)

Throughout the day, we’ve received updates from the others.

Kade and the Order have been working nonstop on plans to form a perimeter around the anticipated battle zone, partly to protect any humans who might accidentally stumble into the park after hours, and partly to keep our fight hidden from the public.

Using both magic from some of their creature members, as well as brute force, they’re determined to shield the city from the chaos to come.

The Order is also preparing for a confrontation with whatever forces Kerrim shows up with. Even though we told him to come alone and bring Ensley, no one believes he’ll actually follow those terms. Just like we won’t.

The heads of the different chapters, along with Becks, are supposed to arrive any minute now so we can review the plan one last time and make sure we’re all on the same page.

As we wait, a knot begins to form in my stomach, the kind that tightens with every tick of the clock, every rustle of wind outside the warehouse. I try to sit still, to breathe through it, but the anticipation gnaws at me like a living thing.

Talon and Imogen are discussing strategy across the room, and Titus is running through a silent, fluid sequence with his twin blades, each movement precise and deadly, the controlled violence of it somehow making me more anxious, not less.

My knee bounces uncontrollably. I press my palm flat against it, trying to force the nerves into submission. But it’s like my body knows what’s coming, even if my mind keeps trying to play it cool.

We’re so close now. Too close.

Every second that passes brings us nearer to midnight, nearer to Kerrim, nearer to whatever this night is going to become.

Footsteps crunch outside the warehouse, and I shoot to my feet before I even realize I’ve moved.

The door creaks open, and Becks steps inside.

He looks exhausted, his shoulders stiff, dark circles smudged beneath his eyes, making me wonder if he slept at all last night. But he’s here. That alone makes the knot loosen inside my chest.

“Hey,” he says when he spots me, his voice quieter than usual.

“Hey,” I echo, unsure what else to say. There’s so much between us, so much we’ve left unsaid, but tonight none of it seems to matter as much as what lies ahead.

He glances around the cavernous room. “Am I the first?”

I nod. “Yeah. Kade and the others should be here soon. I thought you’d be coming with them actually.”

“I left the headquarters before them. I wanted a little time to think.” He hesitates, then walks toward me, hands in his pockets. “Mind if we talk for a minute . . . before it all starts?”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” I say, and mean it, even though I’m not even sure what I’m going to say to him. I don’t know what I could say to make any of this easier or better, but at the least, I can give him the truth.

Becks walks out of the warehouse for privacy, and when I glance over my shoulder before following, I find Talon’s gaze locked on me.

I’m not looking for his permission. I know I don’t need it.

But there’s still a subtle release of tension in my chest when he gives me a small nod.

I think it’s his way of saying he understands.

It’s one of the things I appreciate most about him. His quiet, unwavering faith in me.

After I shove through the door, I scan the area and find Becks sitting on the top of a rotting picnic table in a small area off to the side, probably once a break spot for employees back when this was a working warehouse.

I feel shy and a little awkward as I walk up to him. It’s almost like being with a stranger, which is new. Over the years, Becks has been a lot to me, but never a stranger. Being around him, even when we fought, never felt like this, and I don’t like it.

I don’t know how to start, but thankfully, Becks speaks first.

“Whatever happens from here, and whatever’s happened in the past, I want you to know that I love you.

I have for years. Probably from the first moment you punched that bully in the nose for making my sister cry, you’ve had me completely captivated.

I wanted to be near you, even if it was just to be in your orbit, because to me you’ve always been the most brilliant, fierce, and impossible girl I’ve ever known. ”

My throat tightens. Why does he have to say something like that now? When everything is already so tangled?

I blink back the sudden sting in my eyes and fold my arms. Not because I’m angry, but because I’m trying to hold myself together. I’m still struggling to find my words, but Becks isn’t done wrecking me yet.

He stands and walks toward me, stopping just within arm’s reach.

From this distance, I can see the sheen in his green eyes and know he’s struggling just as much as I am.

But he pushes through and says, “And it’s not just that I love you—which I do, and will until the day I die—but that I’m in love with you.

And I thought you were too. Help me understand,” he pleads softly.

I take in a shaky breath, hoping it steadies me and buys me a few seconds, because how am I supposed to explain something to him that I don’t understand myself?

Becks is perfect. He always saw the best in me, even when I was at my worst, never asked me to be anything more than I was, and made me feel safe in a world that rarely is.

He knows me better than anyone, makes me laugh when I need it most, and held pieces of me together when I felt like I was falling apart.

I was in love with him, and that love was strong.

No one will ever be able to convince me otherwise.

But even as much as he’s been my safe harbor, I’m starting to wonder if we were meant to stay tethered forever.

No matter how perfect he is . . . maybe we’re just not perfect for each other.

“I don’t know that I have the answers you’re looking for,” I confess, my voice barely above a whisper. “I love you too, Becks. I always will. You’re a part of me that I’ll never let go.”

His eyes spark with hope. Until I pause.

“But,” he prompts, his expression tightening like he’s bracing for impact.

“Something’s changed. Or maybe I’ve changed. I just don’t know.”

“Are you trying to say that you love me,” he says slowly, each word dragging out like it physically hurts him to speak, “but you’re not in love with me anymore?”

“No, that’s not it,” I say quickly, my heart lurching as I take a small step forward, hands twisting together. “I don’t think that’s completely true.”

It would be easier to nod and let him believe that. To give him a clean break. But that would be a lie, and Becks deserves the truth, even if it hurts.

“It’s not as simple as that,” I admit, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “It’s . . .”

“Talon,” he finishes for me, the name a quiet exhale that seems to deflate him.

“I didn’t lie to you before. At least, not intentionally. My feelings for Talon, they snuck up on me. And they’re more powerful than I ever expected.”

I see it hit him like a physical blow. His shoulders drop, and for a second he looks like he might shatter.

Becks exhales slowly, his gaze dropping to the ground for a long moment before he looks back up at me. The pain in his eyes is raw, but there’s no malice there. Only love, steady and unwavering.

“I won’t pretend this doesn’t hurt,” he says, his voice quiet but sure. “And I’m not going to tell you I’m okay with it, because I’m not. But I meant what I said, Locklyn. I love you. That doesn’t go away overnight.”

He takes a small step back, like he needs to give me space even if it’s the last thing he wants.

“If this thing with Talon doesn’t work out, if somewhere down the line you realize he wasn’t the one after all—just know I’m still here. I don’t know if that makes me an idiot or just someone who’s never stopped believing in us. But either way, I’ll be waiting.”

A lump rises in my throat. I take a slow step toward him, placing my hand lightly over his heart.

“Becks, I don’t want that for you,” I say softly, my voice thick.

“I know how much it hurts to be on the other side of waiting. To be left wondering if someone’s going to choose you.

We lived that, remember? When we had to hide what we were because of your title.

Because loving me wasn’t fair to you, not really. ”

His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t pull away.

“You deserve someone who chooses you without hesitation. Who doesn’t make you wait or wonder or hurt. That’s what I want for myself, and that’s also what I want for you.”

I blink fast, willing the sting in my eyes to fade.

“I will always love you, Becks. That’s never going to change. But don’t wait for me. Live your life. Be happy. You deserve that. You always have.”

Becks lets out a long breath, his eyes searching mine like he’s memorizing every detail. Then, with a half shrug and the kind of crooked smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, he says, “I hear you. I do. But I’ve never been great at letting go of things that matter.”

I open my mouth to argue, but he holds up a hand.

“I’m not saying I’ll wait forever, Locklyn.

Just . . . don’t expect me to move on tomorrow.

Not when there’s still a chance. Not when I’ve spent years loving you.

” His lips twitch into a faint smile. “Besides, we’ve got to survive the next twenty-four hours first. If one of us gets turned into creature chow, this whole conversation’s going to feel pretty pointless. ”

A surprised laugh escapes me, and some of the tightness in my chest eases.

He grins, softer now. “Go save the world. At least this one. I’ll try to keep the dramatic rescues to a minimum this time.”