Page 42 of King of Pain (Damaged Hearts #1)

Alone

Anthony

I wake up slowly, my body stiff and sore from sleeping on the floor.

My head is foggy, then the memories of last night come flooding back in a suffocating wave.

Chance’s screams, the way he collapsed into me, the way he wouldn’t— couldn’t —speak after getting the call.

The way I held him for hours, trying to keep him from unraveling completely.

I sit up quickly, wincing at the dull ache in my neck, and immediately realize something is wrong.

He’s not here.

My arms are empty, the blanket from last night pooled around me, but no Chance. No warmth, no steady breath against my chest.

“Chance?” I call out, my voice hoarse.

Nothing.

Panic grips me as I scramble to my feet. I search the kitchen first, then the patio, my heart pounding harder with every empty space. The hall bathroom—nothing. The bedroom—nothing.

I rub a hand down my face while I try to think.

Okay, maybe he just needed space.

The silence in the apartment is suffocating, unnatural. I rush to find my phone, ready to text him, when there’s a knock at the door. My heart leaps in my throat, relief hitting me instantly.

He’s back. Wait, why is he knocking?

I rush to the door, yanking it open, only to come face-to-face with Lexi, Guinness sitting obediently at her side.

She beams at me, her face alight with something teasing.

“Well, hello, Romeo,” she says, stepping inside.

“I’m guessing the reason Little G had a sleepover with Auntie Lex is that you had a good night? ”

I step aside quickly, but my eyes dart past her, scanning outside, searching. She frowns slightly, catching my nervous energy. “Anthony?”

I shut the door, running a hand through my hair. “No. It wasn’t. I’m guessing you haven’t seen him or texted with him?”

Lexi’s smile fades immediately. “No, I haven’t. What’s going on, sweetie? You look like you’re going to pass out.”

I barely make it to the couch before my knees give out. Guinness nudges his nose against my leg, whining softly, like he knows something is wrong. I tense, my breath shuddering as the weight of everything crashes down, and suddenly, I’m sobbing.

Lexi moves instantly, sitting on the arm of the couch beside me, her hand on my back. “Oh my God, Anthony, what’s going on? Did he hurt you? I swear to God—”

“No, no,” I choke out, shaking my head furiously. “He didn’t. His... his mom died, Lex.”

Lexi gasps. “Oh my God, Anthony.”

I sniff hard, wiping my face with the sleeve of the dress shirt I’m still wearing from last night.

“He got the call right after we got home from dinner. He wouldn’t talk to me, even after he stopped crying.

He was completely catatonic. I held him right here by the couch until we fell asleep.

But I woke up this morning and he’s not here. I’m worried.”

Lexi exhales, rubbing soothing circles on my back. “Have you texted him? Maybe he went to talk to family in private or to run it out on the treadmill. Do you know what happened to her?”

I shake my head. “Like I said, he didn’t say a word. I have no idea what happened, but I have a feeling something really awful happened. I was just about to text him when you came to the door.”

Lexi nods. “Okay, why don’t you call or text him first? I’ll take Little G out for a walk and stop at the apartment gym to see if he’s on the treadmill.”

“Okay, thanks, Lex.” I stand up, taking a deep breath.

She pulls me into a hug, squeezing me tight. “It’s going to be okay, honey. He’s probably just processing.”

I nod, even though I’m not sure I believe it. When she leaves, I take a deep breath and call Chance. The phone rings and rings several times before finally going to voicemail. I clench my jaw and fire off a text: Hey. Where are you? I’m worried about you. Call me, okay?

Ten minutes later, Lexi walks back in, looking just as concerned as I feel. “He’s not at the gym, but his bike is gone. Did you get ahold of him?”

“Fuck,” I mutter, raking a hand through my hair. “No, he didn’t answer when I called, and I sent a text. Doesn’t look like he’s read it.”

Lexi sighs. “Okay, let’s not panic. He’s probably just on a ride to clear his head. What do you need right now? What can I do?”

I slump onto the couch, rubbing my hands over my face. “There’s nothing either of us can do right now. I’m just going to keep trying to call and text him, I guess.”

Lexi sits next to me, her shoulder bumping mine. “Well, then I’ll be right here next to you until we hear from him, okay?”

I nod, exhaling shakily, and try to call him again.

Four hours pass.

Four hours, and still nothing.

I’ve called at least twenty times. I’ve fired off so many texts, ranging from Where are you? to Why aren’t you reading your texts? I know you’re hurting, please come home .

And the last one: Baby, please. I’m so worried about you. Please tell me you’re okay. Let me bear some of this burden for you.

Unread.

I pace the living room, hands clenched, and I’m spiraling through every worst-case scenario.

Lexi’s on the couch, Little G curled up next to her, her eyes tracking me as I move.

Finally, she exhales softly, but her voice lacks any real conviction when she says, “I’m sure he’s okay, Anthony. He just needs time.”

I spin on her, my voice sharp. “You don’t know that. It’s been four hours, Lex! He’s not even reading his messages. What if he was crying so hard he crashed his bike? What if he—”

Lexi points a stern finger at me, her eyes glassy but fierce. “Don’t even think it. He’s fine. He has to be.”

I force out a shaky breath and drop onto the couch, burying my face in my hands. But the weight in my chest keeps pressing, keeps clawing at me. I can’t sit still. I can’t just wait.

Then it’s four more hours.

Eight agonizing hours of silence.

We’ve both continued to call.

Both continued to text.

Nothing.

Then we take turns calling all the hospitals in the area. I hang up from calling the last one on the list and Lexi anxiously asks, “What did they say?”

I shake my head. “Like all the other hospitals, they wouldn’t give me any information based on his name. But she confirmed they haven’t had any motorcycle accidents come into the ER since last night.”

Lexi’s hands tighten into fists on her thighs. I sigh heavily, voice cracking as I say, “That was the last hospital in a fifty-mile radius. I don’t know what to do. What if he’s in a ditch somewhere?”

Lexi’s eyes fill with tears, but she blinks them back with determination. “No. Not an option.”

She wipes her face with her sleeve, then straightens her shoulders and forces some steel into her voice. “What we’re going to do next is eat something. You need to eat, Anthony.”

I start to shake my head. “No, I’m not—”

She cuts me off. “I’m ordering food. If you get hungry, it’ll be here. In the meantime, we’re going to keep calling him. Is there anyone else we should be reaching out to?”

I run a hand through my hair, my mind scrambling. “No. His whole life here is the record shop, you, me, and Little G. I texted Jen, and she said she’d let me know if he reached out.”

“Is she coming over?” Lexi asks.

“No. I didn’t tell her anything about his mom or that he’s probably off spiraling somewhere. I didn’t want her to worry, and I doubt he’d want to come home to a full-blown intervention. You know Jen… she’d have Butters, Frank, and Kathy here in a heartbeat.”

Lexi purses her lips, then nods. “Hmm. I’ll let that fly for now. Not much longer, though. She’s your best friend.”

I huff out a soft laugh. “I should’ve known better.”

“Yes, you should have.” She shoots me a pointed look before pulling out her phone. “Alright, I’m ordering sandwiches from Capriotti’s. He loves that place. Maybe he’ll smell it and come home.”

“Yeah, okay.” I reach for my phone. “I’m going to call him again.”

Lexi nods as she pulls up the delivery app.

And we wait.

For hours.

Midnight comes and goes. Still nothing.

Lexi is still beside me, phone resting in her lap. She’s been waiting with me, calling when I need to hear the ringing on her speaker, texting when I’m too worked up to type.

But I can see the exhaustion in her eyes, the way she fights off yawns, her body sagging into the couch. She doesn’t want to leave me alone, but I can’t let her sit here and wait up with me all night.

“Lex,” I say softly. “Go to bed.”

She shakes her head. “No, Anthony, I—”

“There’s nothing you can do,” I tell her gently. “I just need to wait for him.”

She hesitates, chewing on her lip, then sighs. “Okay. But you have to promise to wake me the second you hear from him.”

“I promise.”

She stands, stretching her arms over her head. She reaches down and ruffles Little G’s fur. “You’re staying with Daddy tonight, huh?”

He wags his tail but stays pressed to my side. Lexi gives me one last look, then leans down, squeezing my shoulder. “Try to get some rest, yeah? Bang on my door if he comes home or if you need anything at all, even if it’s just a hug.”

I nod, though we both know I won’t rest. She leaves quietly, and the silence that follows is deafening.

I let out a shaky breath, then stand, grabbing Little G’s leash. I take him out one last time, the cold January air biting against my skin. The world is quiet, still, unaware of the pain wrecking me from the inside out.

Back inside, I decide to at least try and sleep. I shut off the lights, leaving the small lamp on in the living room. Just in case.

I head to Chance’s bedroom. Our bedroom.

I strip down and slide under the covers naked. Little G follows, curling up at the end of the bed. Grabbing Chance’s pillow, I pull it tight against my chest, burying my face in it. His scent lingers in the fabric, wrapping around me, and I inhale deeply, willing it to manifest him beside me.

Then I lay there. And wait.

Alone.