Page 23

Eve

The steering wheel is hot and raw under my palm, my fingers curling around the rubber grip as I turn off the freeway towards Jason’s place. The sun is merciless with its rays dancing off of the mirrors and metal at every turn. I grumble as the joyful beams of light retreat when I pass under canopies of thick maple trees. I’m not in the mood for sunshine and rainbows, and I’m definitely not looking forward to the talk Jace and I are about to have.

One more left turn and I see it coming into view: the only building on the street. It’s more like a manor than a house, wrapping around the far end of the cul-de-sac. The two tall stories tower over the trees planted out front, sunlight caressing its hunter green exterior before being absorbed by it completely.

A tightness creeps up in my chest as I feel the engine shudder to a halt, my hand lingering on the door when I step out as if something is trying to tell me ‘don’t go.’ I don’t even notice Jason already outside, his tall frame leaning against the patio posts, watching me as I approach him. Studying me. My eyes adjust to the brightness while I toss him a smile and bring a hand to my brow to shield my vision from the sun.

“You want something to eat?” The gruff tone in his voice falls on my ears like the warning growl of a wolf: it takes everything in me to not let the fleeting feeling of concern make its way to my face.

“Sure, thanks,” I keep my voice sweet as he turns in front of me and prowls inside. I make a mental note of the small camera tucked into the corner of the patio door, taking a deep breath to ready myself before following him inside.

“I mean, LIVING together, Jason?” I shake my head, clearing away the visions of a ‘white picket fence’ family and wondering why he ever thought that could be us. “I get it: in your line of work, personal attachments are a liability. You and I are lucky to have this level of openness and honesty between your work and my predilections. But if my experiences have taught me anything, it’s that love–too much love–can be a parasite: you might think that it’s not killing you but over time it chokes out your logic, your ability to reason.”

I ease my knife back into the breast of chicken on my plate, pretending the chicken was my next client at Clover. Feeling the flesh tear and rip below me, my steady hand expertly carving away piece by piece until the chicken was unrecognizable amidst the diced potatoes and greens.

The sound of Jason’s fists coming down on the table beside his plate jars me from my daydream and I suck in a quiet, deep breath before raising my head, daring to look his way. Those honeyed eyes glare at me from across the table, his voice shaking in an effort to control his tone.

“Is that how you feel? Like I’m a parasite? Like I’m choking you?”

I slowly bring a piece of chicken to my mouth, chewing it with measured bites as my eyes drift ever so slightly from Jason’s face to the living room behind him. I notice the light of another small camera nestled between his books and certificates, angled to encompass the entire room.

My eyebrow raises slightly as I glance back at him, his vision still fixed on me as he stabs at his chicken absentmindedly. The plate groans under the impact, nearly cracking with each jab of his knife.

“No, not you specifically. Just the idea of the ‘perfect family,’ you know? I’ve seen it so many times: one person always ends up sacrificing everything for the other. You’ve helped me to embrace my darkness and showed me how to dance with my demons. I’m eternally grateful for that.”

“But…”

That one small word holds all of his hope with it. Hope that there IS no ‘but,’ that there’s nothing else hanging in the balance between us. Nothing that could potentially cleave us from each other.

“But I’m not done dancing.”

I hold his gaze and force a swallow, the chicken turning to sand in my throat as I see flames ignite the gold in his eyes. The table shakes when he shoves against it, shooting to his feet as my eyes drag over his body to the knife still clutched in his white-knuckled fist.

“Eve.”

His voice is dark. So dark. I keep fixed on the knife in his hand while I set my own silverware down beside my plate, adjusting their angles before I rise from my seat to slink over to him.

“There is nothing stopping us from being together as a real couple!” He shouts. “I don’t know why you seem to think it’s an impossible feat, after all we’ve been through, how strong we are. It’s like you WANT us to fail!”

I try to steady the pounding in my chest as he turns and paces across the living room, the rise and fall of his shoulders falling in time with his footsteps.

“I don’t want us to fail,” I purr in an attempt to soothe the beast inside him that’s clawing at his cage. “I just want to hold on to the dynamic we have for a little while. I enjoy my time with you, and I love the relationship we have.”

My hand finds its way to his shoulder and he whips around to face me, knife still in hand. I gauge its distance for a second before snapping my eyes to his as I take his face in my hands.

“You love the relationship we have,” he spits as he drops the knife and reaches up to grab my hands at the wrists. “But do you love ME?”

I swallow, ignoring the cracks in my joints as his grip tightens. The pressure is maddening.

“Of course I love you! You really think I would sacrifice EVERYTHING for someone I didn’t care for!?” I do my best to make the words sound genuine, heartfelt, ignoring the searing pain radiating through my forearms as I try to twist myself free.

“Well then WHY DON’T YOU WANT THIS?!” He brings his face within inches of mine, anger hot on his breath as he reads my face, searching for any crack in my mask.

“You’re hurting me,” I say softly, glancing down at my wrists and willing tears into my eyes. I look back up at his face, twisting my mouth into a sad smile.

“Last time I checked, you LIKED a little pain,” he says coarsely, crashing his lips to mine in a frenzy.

I try to pull away, but his grip tightens as he continues his assault, his mouth forcing mine open as his tongue invades my mouth with feral need.

“Jace–” The words catch in my throat as he releases my wrists and snakes his arms around me, pulling me against him with brute force. I shove against his chest, struggling to free myself, but his grip tightens unbearably.

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it when I take control,” his voice is husky as he breaks his mouth from mine and shoves me backwards towards the couch, my neck cracking as my head hits the wall behind it.

A fleeting panic sends adrenaline through my veins as I shoot my focus over to the knife on the floor behind him. He follows my line of sight, his lips curling into a malicious smile as he looks back at me and wiggles his finger in my direction.

“Tsk tsk tsk,” he says tauntingly. “You remember what happened last time we got a knife involved, don’t you?”

He kicks at the blade and sends it sliding across the floor towards the kitchen before stalking towards me.

“Eve, I don’t know why you insist on fighting this,” he says as he bends down, putting his hands on the back of the couch on either side of my head. I look up at him and set my jaw, lifting my chin in defiance as I stare him down.

“Because you are only thinking of yourself!” My voice is unwavering as I search his face. “You claim to want a relationship, but you don’t even know how to be IN one. Your sense of love is twisted, Jace, just like you are, and until you can learn how to make another person happy–”

His hand is a blur as I feel his fingers close around my throat. Gasping, I claw at his arm and kick at his legs, thrashing against the couch in a desperate attempt to free myself. He chuckles, kicking my legs apart and placing his knee on the couch between them, just inches from my clit.

“You’ve always been a little wildcat, haven’t you?” His voice is dripping with amusement as he slides his knee inwards, and I groan as he presses against me. “Can’t you see that I LOVE you, Eve? That all I want is for us to have some semblance of a normal life? WHY can’t you see that?!?”

“Can’t….breathe…” The words are barely a whisper as the edges of my vision begin to blur. My heart is trying to pound its way out of my chest, and all I can hear as I slip into darkness is Jason’s voice.

“I love you, Eve…I fucking love you, and we’re going to be together forever…”