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Beau couldn’t sleep if his life depended on it. The steady sound of Kylo’s breathing and his warmth on Beau’s chest kept his heart in his throat. He had spent so many years immersed in his anger. Beau had lost this. It was peace, contentment, and a seed of something beautiful. That was all Kylo. His light outshone Beau’s darkness.

Kylo shifted in his sleep.

Beau closed his eyes. He didn’t want Kylo to stay awake because he was.

Kylo kept moving, sneaking from the bed.

Beau peeked open one eye. Kylo practically danced around in place while hunting for something easy to wear. Finally, he snatched up Beau’s dress shirt and slipped it on. Beau’s breath caught. He was beautiful. Kylo belonged to him. He eyed the room. Beau smiled. He knew he could tell Kylo where to find the bathroom, but he enjoyed watching him without Kylo knowing. Beau nearly gave himself away when Kylo simply started opening doors. He fought a laugh at the second closet he found and the muted growl Kylo released. His heart stopped when he grabbed the next doorknob.

Kylo pulled open the door and froze. For much longer than necessary, Kylo stood in the open doorway. Several nightlights around the room illuminated its purpose. Kylo stepped inside.

There had never been any avoiding this. Beau slipped from the bed and found a pair of pajama pants and followed. He watched Kylo turn in a circle in the center of Adan’s old playroom.

Kylo didn’t jump when he spotted Beau. He didn’t seem surprised at all, but that was Kylo. Nothing seemed to shock him. “I’m not your first Little.”

He turned on the light for Kylo. “No.” No matter what, Beau wouldn’t lie to Kylo. He wanted a life with him. Lives weren’t built on falsehoods.

Kylo sat on the swing of the indoor swing set and focused on Beau. “From what I saw online, your wife hasn’t been gone long enough to accumulate this much stuff. It had to have taken years.”

“Ten, to be exact.” He saw all the questions in Kylo’s eyes, and he didn’t make him ask. “Yes, I had a lover living in my wife’s home. No, she didn’t like it. She refused to give me what I wanted, so I refused to give up Adan.”

“What did she refuse to do?”

“Get clean.”

A sad smile passed over Kylo’s lips. “Been there. The only years my mom actually lived with me were the ones at the height of her addiction. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” He glanced around. “I guess this explains why your sons looked horrified by me. No doubt they hate seeing you with another Little after that.”

Beau moved deeper into the room and sat on the small coloring table. He knew the large, round table was sturdy enough to hold him. “They’re not horrified by you. They just hate me. I’ve been working on it, but I think I’m wasting my time. Some things can’t be fixed. They blame me for their mom’s death.”

Kylo nodded and then promptly disagreed. “I don’t think it’s unfixable. Your boys had to know she was an addict. God knows I knew my mom was one.”

“I stole Adan from Boone. Then he tried to kill himself, and that still wasn’t enough to make me stop punishing everyone.”

Kylo’s expression gave nothing away. If he thought—like everyone else—that Beau was a piece of shit, he didn’t show it. Beau held his breath, expecting anything. Finally, a bitter- sounding laugh escaped Kylo. He stared at nothing. “I tried my ass off to steal Reggie from my mom.”

The confession shocked Beau, but only because he hadn’t expected it. He had known there was something between Reggie and Kylo, in spite of Kylo saying they had never been a couple. Beau just hadn’t decided what it was. He held his breath, hoping Kylo kept going.

Kylo didn’t disappoint him. He set the swing in motion, gently moving as he spoke—like comforting himself. “I was a teenager when Mom found herself getting less and less work because of her habit. So I finally had the mom I always wanted, except it wasn’t at all what I wanted. She was angry and awful. All the fucking time because she never slept unless she dropped.”

Beau didn’t want to hear this part. “You don’t have to explain. I’ve lived it.”

Kylo nodded. “It’s exhausting. If Reggie hadn’t come to live with us, I don’t know what would’ve happened. He got her in hand.” Kylo stopped swinging and held Beau’s stare. “Back then, I didn’t know he was her dealer. But you can’t make money from a dead addict or one who can’t work because they’re too fucked up.”

“He was Tabitha’s too.”

Kylo went back to gently swinging. “I’m unsurprised. He owns the habits of the rich. Of course, all I knew back then was someone showed me an ounce of attention.” Kylo looked away. He visibly swallowed, as if trying to get himself under control.

Beau decided to give him a minute by making him feel better about his life. “I begged Tabitha to go to rehab that day. The day everything started with Adan,” he explained. “That wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, but that day, I was at my breaking point. She threw things and screamed. Told me she hated me.” A sad smile tugged at Beau’s lips. “I think I already hated her too. Finally, she went completely calm and told me to find someone else. She said I obviously found her repulsive since I kept asking her to change. So go get my dick sucked elsewhere.” A bitter laugh fell from Beau’s lips. “I was so goddamn done. When I stormed through the house, on my way to do anything that got her out of my sight, I found Boone and Adan fighting every bit as hard. I couldn’t take it. The noise. The screaming. I was ready to kill someone to make everyone be quiet and take away the constant anger. So I yelled at Boone to get to work and out of my sight. He stormed out, leaving Adan behind.”

Beau snorted. “The funny thing was, Adan already practically lived here, and I barely noticed. But that day, I hated everyone, including him. I told him to get out of my house and he laughed. It wasn’t a condescending laugh. Just a genuine laugh—like he knew I wasn’t serious. He asked if he could stay if he let me spank him since he really didn’t have anywhere else to go. I don’t know why it struck me as funny. Maybe it was just the way he said it, but I laughed, and it felt so fucking good to feel anything except hurt and rage. I thought about Tabitha, telling me to get someone else to suck my dick, and the next thing I knew, I had Adan on his knees. Then Boone caught us. I had ruined two more lives.”

Beau swallowed. He should stop with the confessions, but he couldn’t. “It felt good. I’d made people hurt the way I did, and I couldn’t stop. My wife was an addict and so was my youngest son. Boone had everything because I gave it to him. I just resented the fuck out of every single person I loved. I felt like I had done everything—like no low was too low as long as they got what they wanted. Yet they all acted like...” Beau shrugged. He didn’t think he could go on. There was no part of the story where he came out to be the good guy. It just got worse.

“On my sixteenth birthday, I cornered Reggie, and I ended up on my knees.” A bitter smile touched Kylo’s lips. “He let me because, of course, he did.” Kylo stared at nothing. “Again, any amount of attention and I was hooked. I thought that meant I’d won. That had to mean he wanted me and not my junkie mom. I was so stupid.” He met Beau’s stare. Another acrid smile twisted his lips. “I definitely made a complete ass of myself every single day, trying to be the one he chose. Looking back, I see all the ways he tried to stay away from me.” His expression turned dark in a way Beau hadn’t thought possible for Kylo. “That is, until I got my first big part and moved into my own place six months later. Even though I was still underage, Mom was just glad to have me gone. One less person around trying to change her. I didn’t really see her anymore, but Reggie...”

Beau felt sick because he saw it all. He knew because he was the bad guy. He knew exactly what Reggie’s game had been. It was exactly that: a game. Reggie had been an adult, fucking with a kid’s head, making him think he was the aggressor. Then he had lost access to his fun once Kylo left. Still, Beau was slightly confused.

“That was a long time ago. Why is he still coming around?” Kylo was thirty-two. He said they had never been a couple. There was more to this.

Kylo shrugged. “You’d have to ask him. I moved from L.A. to New York and then on to San Francisco. He’s been around every corner, stalking me, forcing me to find higher and higher security.”

“Stalking you.” Fuck. He had to be brutally obsessed with Kylo for it to have lasted this long.

Kylo suddenly stopped swinging. He looked haunted. “I wish it had only been stalking.”

Beau came to his feet. He didn’t even realize it happened. “What else has it been?”

Kylo focused on him. He looked like the child no one protected. “He’s hired people to attack me, hoping to scare me into running to him. The week before we met at The PlayPen, I was held hostage for three days until he came to my rescue.” Kylo used air quotes on the word “rescue.” They were unnecessary. Reggie obviously didn’t care if Kylo saw his ploys for what they were. Kylo took a shaky breath. “I think he paid that guy to stab me.” Kylo stood. “Where’s the bathroom?”

Beau held his hand out for Kylo. The moment he held some part of him, his feet unglued from the floor. “This way.” He led Kylo to the opposite side of his bedroom. After opening the door and turning on the light, he stepped aside, leaving Kylo to his privacy. Except, once the door closed, he couldn’t move away. No one had watched over Kylo. No one had protected him. Beau had never protected anyone. In fact, he was the monster. But Kylo needed him in a way no one ever had, and Beau planned to deliver. He was a little terrified of himself at that moment. An image of Reggie’s expression as he had stood over Kylo’s bed floated through Beau’s mind. Kylo was right. Reggie had done that, and Beau didn’t know what horrible thing he was about to do about it, but he knew it would be irreparable.

After splashing water on his face, Kylo stared at himself in the mirror. He wasn’t a kid anymore. None of that shit mattered. He closed his eyes. The memory of Beau’s lips on his skin washed away the darkness. The honesty. Goddamn. Beau hadn’t held back or tried to lie about a single thing. He had flayed himself in two and let Kylo stamp through the remnants. That was the single most touching thing anyone ever did for him. Kylo didn’t have to guess around Beau. All he had to do was ask, and Beau ripped out his heart for Kylo. He wanted to hold him.

Kylo turned off the light and opened the door to find Beau waiting. Even with his eyes still adjusting to the change in lighting, he knew Beau was in a dark place. He didn’t have to study his expression. Beau swept him off his feet.

“Bedtime. Do you need a story?”

God. He could love this man. “No. I think I’ve had my fill of stories tonight. I think I just need to be cuddled.”

“You got it.” He crawled onto the bed and tucked Kylo beneath the covers before slipping beneath them too. Beau towed Kylo into his arms and held on.

Kylo closed his eyes and savored the sensation of being held. His eyes burned. His heart couldn’t get enough.

Beau kissed his forehead. “I hate to ask you to rip your heart out any more tonight, but did Reggie give you that crown?”

Sadness threatened to sink him again. “No. My mom gave it to me for my eighteenth birthday. It wasn’t a coincidence that it had been made for a son a king couldn’t love. I’m a son a queen can’t love, and she wanted me to know it. But hey, it’s worth millions, right?”

“What made you wear it the night we met?”

“I’ve worn it every birthday since. It’s my yearly reminder not to bother.”

Warm lips touched his forehead again. This time, they didn’t move away, even when Beau responded. “At least I got you a gift.” Kylo appreciated Beau not adding those roses and teddy bear hadn’t been meant for him.

An unexpected chuckle burst from Kylo. He fucking adored this man. Still, he had to stand his ground. He wouldn’t lose himself again. “I don’t want the brightly colored prison you built for Adan.”

“I’ll have someone clear out the playroom tomorrow.”

“If you think you’ll be touching anyone other than me, plan to lose your hands.”

He felt Beau smile against his skin. “You don’t have anything to worry about. I’m crazy. Not stupid.”

Kylo’s cheeks ached. Beau kept him smiling. “I’m crazy too. Fair warning.”

“Good. I can give you a gun and you can be my Clyde or whatever.”

“Wouldn’t that make you Bonnie?”

Beau laughed. It was a soft and sexy sound. “I don’t know. I’m ridiculous when I’m tired.”

Kylo snuggled in even closer and kissed Beau’s neck. “Go to sleep, gorgeous. I’ll keep you safe without a gun. My hands are deadly.”

He felt Beau shake with silent laughter and—somehow—Kylo’s smile got bigger. Maybe they were two fucked-up peas in a pod, but they had each other. That was enough for Kylo.