Page 46 of Kidnapped By the Beast (Beasts of the Kindred #11)

LEXI

The shuttle hummed around her, the steady vibration thrumming through the soles of her shoes and the seat beneath her. Normally, Lexi would have found the sound soothing, but now it felt like a constant reminder of the silence stretching between her and Dr. Brandt.

It had been that way since before they even boarded—even the last time he’d milked her, which he had done to be sure her breasts weren’t too full before take-off.

He hadn’t spoken a word as he’d led her into the milking chamber…

hadn’t brushed her hair back from her face…

hadn’t whispered dirty words in her ear the way he had before.

His big hands had been all business—utterly impersonal— as he fitted the suction cups to her swollen nipples.

He hadn’t even lingered to make sure she was comfortable.

Instead, he’d activated the machine, turned his broad back, and walked out.

Leaving her alone—hooked to the device like a cow in some mechanical dairy—while the suction tugged at her breasts and his silence tugged at her heart.

The humiliation had burned, but worse than that was the cold emptiness of his absence—the knowledge that he hadn’t even wanted to stay and look at her.

Now here they were, alone in the long-range shuttle, and it was no better.

Brandt sat in the pilot’s seat, big and stiff and silent, his eyes locked on the streaking stars ahead. Lexi sat in the passenger’s seat beside him, arms wrapped around herself, trying to hold in the ache that seemed to pulse from her chest outward.

Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore.

“I shouldn’t have said it,” she blurted.

His head didn’t turn.

“Said what?” His voice was flat.

“You know what!” She dug her nails into her palms, trying to stop them from trembling. “I shouldn’t have said ‘I love you.’ I don’t know what I was thinking. I just—”

“Alexandra,” he cut her off, his tone low, final. “You have to understand something. I’m not free to call a bride or to Bond one to me.”

Her stomach twisted.

“What? What are you talking about?”

His knuckles went white on the steering yoke.

“I’m telling you I can’t be with you—I can’t be with any woman. Not even a beautiful, curvy Elite like you.”

Anger flared hot and fast in her chest.

That’s it? Just—sorry, I can’t? After everything we went through together?

“Well, you could have told me that before you spanked me, fingered me, and sucked my nipples—and everything else we did together!” she exclaimed. “Was this whole trip just some kind of long con? You only wanted me for what you could get, and now you’re going to throw me away?”

His head whipped toward her, golden eyes flashing.

“What? No—of course not. I just—”

“You don’t even know why I agreed to take this job for you in the first place, do you?” she snapped, cutting him off.

His jaw tightened, his expression going hard, almost stony.

“No, Alexandra, I don’t. Why did you agree?” he asked, his voice flat.

Her chest heaved.

Fine. He wants the truth? He can choke on it.

“Because my uncle is in trouble—big trouble. And if I don’t pay off his debts as soon as I get home, a wanna-be mob boss asshole named Butcher is going to shoot his knees out with a shotgun!

” Her voice broke, tears burning her eyes.

“So yeah—that’s why I put up with everything you did to me at first. I had to help my uncle. But after that…after we got so close…”

Her throat tightened, but she pushed the words out anyway, raw and trembling.

“After that, I couldn’t help falling for you.

” She jabbed a finger at him, tears slipping hot down her cheeks.

“And you let it happen. You knew I was falling for you, and you didn’t say a thing!

And now you want to talk about how you’re ‘not free’?

Well, fuck that and fuck you! You’ve been leading me on this whole time—you’re an asshole! ”

The tears came harder then—ugly sobs that tore out of her chest. She hated herself for crying, hated him for being so damn calm, so untouchable, while she came apart in front of him. How could he sit there while she bawled her eyes out and not even say a word?

The big Kindred sat silent for what felt like forever, the hum of the engines filling the void, her ragged breaths loud in the quiet cabin.

Finally, he spoke. His voice was low and rough.

“You’re right. I never should have let you think I was free to call a bride.

It’s just that…” His eyes slid shut briefly, pain etching deep lines in his face.

“Ten years ago, after my wife died, I made a vow. I took a sacred oath before the Goddess that I would never let another woman take her place in my heart. That I would never again call a bride or Bond her to me.”

Lexi froze, her breath caught in her throat.

His wife. Oh God—how could I forget about his wife?

Brandt stared straight ahead, his voice steady but hollow.

“I knew I was doing wrong. Allowing the two of us to be so intimate… allowing my emotions for you to grow. All I can do is beg your forgiveness. You’re right. I am—as you humans say—an asshole. But I cannot break my vow. Not even for you, little Lexi.”

The nickname, spoken so softly, so tenderly, shattered her.

Tears blurred her vision as she turned away, pressing her forehead against the cool tempered glass of the viewport to her side. Stars streamed past in brilliant lines of light, racing endlessly through the darkness, all blurred by her tears.

She wished she could go back in time—back to that stupid day she’d answered Natalie’s message and gone on this job interview. She wished she could tell herself not to go, not to meet him, not to fall for him.

Because now her heart felt like it was being ripped into pieces, and she didn’t know how she was supposed to survive it.

I love him, she thought as despair filled her.

I love him…but he’ll never be mine.