Page 64 of Kate & Frida

The Puget Sound Book Company

101 South Main Street??Seattle, WA 98104

5/5/94

Dear Frida,

Sven sends me at least a letter a day. In the last one he wrote, “I hate this part. I don’t want to let you go.” He did love me. I’m sure of it. As much as he was able to. And I truly believe he wants to be happy. I want him to be happy, but how can he be when he has such damaged ideas about what happiness is? That’s what makes me even sadder. I told Stella what you said about outgrowing people, and she said when she broke up with her high school boyfriend, she had to do it in order to continue growing. We decided this is the most painful reason of all to end a relationship, because it doesn’t mean you stopped loving someone. It means you’re no longer being fed in a way that nourishes you, and if you don’t leave, you’ll slowly starve to death. In the beginning with Sven, every day was a feast, but by the end, I was so hungry all the time. I wonder when it was, the precise point when we crossed the borders from what we were going to become to what we couldn’t become to what we didn’t become.

None of this was your fault, Frida. That would mean it never should have happened, and I don’t believe that.

Love,

Kate

P.S. Is Kirby back from Vietnam?