Page 63 of Kate & Frida

Frida Rodriguez ... En Route

April 25, 1994

Paris, France

Oh Kate, I feel awful. I pushed you to let Sven in acting like I’m some wise old woman. I’m obnoxious. I shouldn’t have given him so much benefit of the doubt. This is all my fault. Here’s my dirty secret. I expect – in my heart of hearts – people to be honorable. Like you! Your kindness created a chain reaction. Lisette is now donating part of her profits every Saturday – her busiest day – to the Ramonas, and the Village Voice bookstore is hosting a fundraiser. People are going to take turns reading passages from MFK Fisher’s last book.

Sometimes when I’m writing to you a thought pops into my head and it could only happen because I’m writing to you. Like right now I’m suddenly thinking about MFK and her first marriage to Al. He was brilliant like Sven. Tortured too. She had to be with him, but then she had to leave him to find herself. What if no matter how wrong they are for us, we need to love some people so we can grow – and then outgrow them like MFK outgrew Al? What if that’s the whole reason they come into our lives? So we can grow with them and then beyond them. I know how much Sven was part of your dreams. Maybe he still is. Just not the way you thought he was going to be. Or maybe this is Guilty Frida’s way of defending herself for shoving you into that train wreck.

Apologetically yours,

Frida