Page 14 of Just About a Rake (Ladies Who Dare #5)

L eonora’s daze had yet to leave her as she fell back on the bed still soaked from head to toe.

The truth was out. For Dare, anyway.

And if she’d learned anything in her life, it was that the moment the stem of a flower was cut, it could never be reattached. Courtesy of her adventures in the garden as a child, she was also well aware that neither would the stem ever grow back. When it was cut, it was cut. All you could do was display the flower until it inevitably wilted.

Lord, she was growing morbid.

But how should she feel about Dare finding out? She didn’t know. Perhaps there was no right way to feel.

And what about that kiss? And that look on his face before he closed the carriage door?

“Arg!” She covered her face with her hands. “What am I going to do?”

What could she do? Nothing, that’s what! The thing to do would have been to deny his guess, for it had been a guess.

“Why didn’t I do that?” Why, why, why?

You know why.

The thought lodged itself in her mind, even as the next crept in: Do I really?

The truth of the matter was, she didn’t want to carry this secret alone anymore. Her family knew, but she wasn’t supposed to, leaving her isolated in her own knowledge. She could confess what she knew to Heart, but she didn’t have the heart. Ironic, that.

Dare putting the pieces together may have taken the burden of solitary knowledge from her shoulders, but it only added another. Another she hadn’t fully thought through.

Himself.

In the distance, a door slammed, and she sighed.

Here we go.

She didn’t have to wait long before heavy strides thundered down the hallway, followed by her door slamming open. Poor door was all she managed to conjure by way of thought as her gaze fell on Heart. The oak seemed to take a beating in her place.

“Well, I am glad to see you home,” the raging beast said in a tone dripping with resentment.

“Where else would I be?”

“Stow the sarcasm, Leonora. You know exactly what you have done today.”

She should hope so, or she might be better suited for Bedlam. She considered sitting up to face her brother fully but couldn’t muster the strength. “Is it better or worse than what you have done?”

“What the devil do you mean by that?”

Leonora sighed, her gaze drifting over the bird-like patterns of the wallpaper before moving to the pretty pattern of the wooden moldings across the ceiling. “If you don’t know, then I suppose you’ve done nothing.”

Nothing.

That little vexing word again. Nothing was the problem. Nothing ever changed. Same tune, same lyrics, same dance. Over and over.

Heart cursed. “I warned you away from that man, Leonora. I’m not bloody jesting here. He is not the sort of man befitting for you.”

She turned her gaze to him again. “And what sort of man is he?”

“A rake. A libertine. A wastrel.”

Like you? The question hovered on the tip of her tongue, but it couldn’t pass her lips. It could never pass. No question about his past ever could. Or about her own past. Or about anything to do with this family secret they had all tried so hard to keep from her yet, in the end, failed to do so.

It wasn’t their fault. If she hadn’t been a curious child, she might never have discovered the truth.

“Are you not listening to me?” Heart demanded, repeating. “A rake. A libertine. A wastrel.”

Maddening man. “I’m listening, Heart. I heard you the first time.”

“Then why aren’t you saying anything? You are never to see him again, do you understand? Don’t push me on this. Not anymore.”

“I understand your concern, Heart, but you shall have to be more specific than that.” She propped herself up. “Just so I’m not mistaken in the identity of that man .” It was a blatant taunt. She might not ask the questions she wanted to ask, but she still wasn’t feeling all that accommodating at the moment. A chill had settled into her body yet again, and she didn’t know if it was from the damn clothes or their infuriating conversation.

“Dare,” Heart spit out the name as if it were a foul curse. “If I ever see you with him again, I will marry you off to the first man who asks for your hand!”

How laughable! Marry her off to the first man who asked for her hand? One word from her and that would never happen. “What if it’s Dare?”

“Leonora!”

“I suppose that is a definite no.”

His eyes flashed. “Yes!”

“Oh, it’s a yes?”

A filthy glare fell on her. “I’ll say it again: Stay away from him. Today was the last day I tolerate this.”

She straightened herself, adjusting her posture, reaching to hug a pillow. “How can you accuse a man when you didn’t even see him today?”

“Are you going to deny you were with him? Whose jacket are you wearing?”

Leonora glanced down at Dare’s coat. She’d all but ripped it from his body with her demand for it. She resisted the urge to duck her head and sniff, but without even having to go that far, the undertone of his scent still surrounded her. Deep. Intoxicating. And utterly wild.

“He will be the ruin of you.”

Yes. He just might.

But she was already ruined. A ruined woman in disguise as an innocent lady.

The memories of today flashed through her mind again, and an indiscernible feeling sparked in her chest. She still couldn’t shake his expression right before he’d shut the carriage door. What had that been about? It was almost as though he was telling her something without telling her anything. Much like Heart over here.

She shook her head. She couldn’t think about Dare now. She had her brother to deal with. One rogue at a time.

And then she remembered that he had been caught, too. Dare’s advice.

She flung the pillow aside and crossed her arms. “What about you, Heart? Who did you meet after running into me?”

He blinked, the fierceness of his countenance softening. “Me? Oh, an old friend.”

Leonora narrowed her eyes for good measure. “A female friend?”

“You already know.”

“Yes, but I’m just wondering how you could meet an old female friend in such a questionable environment?”

He stiffened, his lips pulling up in a sneer. “It wasn’t a meeting as you very well know. We simply... met.”

She tapped her chin in thought. “She sounded awfully familiar. Like I’ve heard her voice before.”

“You won’t know who she is even if I tell you.”

A blatant lie. Who was the one denying the truth now, heh, Heart?

“You cannot know that,” Leonora murmured, watching him closely.

Blue eyes, the same color as hers, held her gaze in unflinchingly—indeed, he didn’t move a muscle. There was no doubt the two of them were family. The Hearts inherited their distinctive blue eyes from a long line of ancestors. And yet, that was where the resemblance stopped. Period.

“Why are you so interested in whom I meet?”

“Can I not be interested in what female friend my brother met in such a place?” Or why that female friend had called on Dare? Or why she’d offered to escort Leonora home on the day they fell into the lake? But Leonora couldn’t ask those questions. As with so many others, they wouldn’t form on her tongue.

“You’ve never shown any interest in my acquaintances before.”

“We don’t have to speak about today’s incident if you don’t want to. But speaking of acquaintances, it seems as though you know the Duchess of Crane. She’s on everyone’s lips these days.”

His face went blank before he said, “We were introduced years ago, that’s all.”

“So, she could be considered an old acquaintance, then. She is very beautiful. Did you ever court her?” His face lost most of its color. There could be no doubt. They both knew it—that was clear—but she wanted him to admit it. She wanted to hear the truth, some blasted measure of the truth, from his lips.

“No, I’ve never courted her.” He suddenly scowled. “How the hell has this been turned onto me? None of this matters. This is about you, not me. Heed my warning this time, Leonora,” he finished firmly, turning on his heel and striding from her chamber. He’d been rattled. She’d never seen him so rattled before. He also hadn’t lied—at least about courting the duchess. If he had, things might have ended so different for all of them. It didn’t matter, he’d said.

Oh, but, Heart, it does matter.

It matters a lot.

Father .

*

Dare didn’t know why the hell he stepped into the ballroom when he knew he should be staying as far away from polite social events as possible. He hadn’t run into Heart yesterday when he’d seen Leonora off, but the man must have been livid to find his sister, his family , in a less-than-savory part of London with a less-than-savory man.

Was she all right?

Had they fought?

Did Heart know she knew?

Curiosity burned in his chest. As did concern. And that concern all but replaced any curiosity as the evening went on and she remained absent. Was Heart keeping her prisoner? Could he do that? Probably.

He hated how his mind spun, like a damn fool, wondering what she was doing, how she was feeling, and what she was wishing would happen. He hated not knowing. Hated not being able to help her. All these questions were driving him mad. If Leonora had at least been here, he’d have a damn sight less to worry over.

“Are you lost?”

Dare looked over to Knox approaching with a long-stemmed glass of champagne in his hand, painting the lie of a refined lord dripping with elegance.

In truth, he was a bare-knuckle fighting ruffian.

“Lost?”

“Yes,” Knox said before taking a sip of his champagne. “You have the look of a boy who has stumbled into a place he shouldn’t have. You seem distracted.”

“I am.” Why bother lying? He could even argue that he had stumbled into a place he shouldn’t have simply because she wasn’t here.

“Drake told me that you came to his boxing match with your lady love.” Eyes that saw way too much studied him.

“She’s not my lady love.”

“Yet she is the source of your distraction, is she not?”

“What about you? You spoke with Drake. What else did he say?”

“Not much, honestly. He is impatient to return home.”

Dare snorted. What was going between him and the duchess? She’d shown up at the warehouse to watch him box, for Christ’s sake. A damn strange occurrence. There seemed to be a deep conflict between the two. Also, not many knew this, but the duchess had played the biggest part in his mother’s fall from grace—she’d revealed her pregnancy to the family causing Drake’s mother to be expelled from her family home, and society at large, leaving her and Drake on the streets. The only family member who had shown any pity was her sister, Dare’s mother. She’d used her own funds to help them settle in Brighton and visited them from time to time.

A nasty affair.

“If he is that impatient, he should up the ante or make amends.” The latter he’d never do.

“True.”

Dare certainly didn’t want to be dragged into a feud of any sort. He thought of Leonora, her family secret. The same fate awaited her should the secret ever come to light—at least where society was concerned. She’d be cast out. Ostracized. Fortunately, Heart would never abandon his family. Just look at the lengths the man had gone to in order to protect her. Drake’s mother hadn’t been that fortunate.

But even if the worst somehow happened, he also wouldn’t allow Leonora to be entirely abandoned. She possessed too much light for Dare to ever allow that.

And he appeared to be a moth.

Ugly little things, unable to help being drawn to a flicker of light and a bit of warmth. But they could only ever flit around it, never entirely obtain it.

He sighed.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Knox said, amused.

“What?” Dare swept the room to map out the best exit for a hasty departure. No use standing about in boredom. He couldn’t even muster up the spirit to pretend to enjoy himself. He should just go to bed.

Knox studied him with a keen gaze. “I’ve never heard you sigh like that before.”

“Like what? A sigh is a sigh.”

“Not that sigh. That sigh is laced with the ache of longing.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He would never, ever sigh with an ache of longing. How did that even happen? What did that even sound like?

“Am I really the ridiculous one?”

“Well, you’d have to be. How else would you know what a sigh of longing sounds like? You could only know it if you have experience with it yourself, old chap.”

Knox pulled a face.

That’s better. “Why are you even here?” Dare continued, changing the subject. “Don’t you have a gambling hell to run?”

“I own it,” his friend corrected. “Which means I just pore over the accounts. I have a manager who takes care of the rest.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you are here.” Dare sent him an annoyed look. “Drake sent me a message, didn’t he? Why else would you bother coming if not to hunt me down?”

Knox chuckled. “Quite right.”

“You could have led with that instead of spouting nonsense.”

“But that would be no fun.”

Dare scoffed. “Couldn’t he have sent a note?”

Knox shrugged. “He said to tell you the duchess warned him not to bring in the Hearts into family matters.”

“Warned him ? Why would she do just a foolish thing?” She must have caught sight of him with Leonora at the boxing match. And seeing as he hadn’t heeded her warning when she’d visited, she’d turned to his cousin.

What a damn joke. The Hearts were family, were they not? And didn’t she think he and Drake would find her words suspicious? Just who was dragging in whom? It was like waving a flag at a bull to point him in the direction he should go.

“Can’t say why the duchess does what the duchess does,” Knox said with a shrug. “Only that she does.”

“If she has anything to say to me, she can say it to my face. Drake, too, for that damn matter.”

“You know he won’t venture into our parts of town.”

Dare didn’t answer. He spotted Lady Leeds and her husband stepping off the dance floor and made his way toward them, leaving Knox behind. Drake didn’t venture into their parts of town, yet they all had no qualms stepping into his territory. Could there be anything more ridiculous than that?

Damn it.

He wanted to help his aunt get something back from the disaster her life had become, but the situation had become more complicated than it had first appeared, more tangled.

“Leeds,” he greeted as he approached the couple. “Lady Leeds.”

Leeds gave a curt nod. “Lord Dare. How are you this evening?”

Adrift. “As well as ever. Can you point me in the direction of Lady Leonora? I have something I wish to discuss with her.”

“Lady Leonora? Oh, you don’t know?” Dare’s back went stiff as Lady Leeds addressed him. “She is ill and won’t be attending tonight.”

Ill?

The ballroom and everyone in it vanished, swallowed by that one, terrifying word. It echoed in a loud wail, bouncing back and forth between all corners of his mind. Ill ...It could mean so many things. In some cases, people who fell ill never recovered. The very word was like a disease itself, injecting a chill into his blood and pumping with each beat through his veins.

“Harriet,” Leeds suddenly spoke up. “Perhaps you should clarify.”

Her gaze darted between Dare and her husband, her eyes suddenly widening. “Oh! It’s nothing serious. She picked up a bit of a sniffle, I believe,” she explained. “Or so her missive to me claimed.”

Dare stared at Lady Leeds, processing the information she’d imparted. Leonora. Ill. A sniffle. How? Why? What exactly was the matter with her? How serious was this sniffle? And why did his chest feel so tight?

Lost.

Knox had been right. He felt the loss of Leonora’s presence. He could even admit there was a small ache. He felt out of place without Leonora here. As though he no longer belonged. When had this started? Since when had he become a lost little boy whenever she was not around?

This was a problem.

This was no ordinary “like.” This was something else entirely. A madness of sorts. An internal bell that signaled he’d ventured into a dangerous place.

Ill . . .

“I see,” Dare murmured and nodded his thanks.

“Are you all right?” Lady Leeds asked.

“I’m fine, thank you. Please excuse me.”

With one last nod, Dare strode from the ballroom.