Page 39 of July (New Orleans #7)

J ill hated waking up alone now. Truthfully, she’d always hated waking up alone.

She had been the person who wanted someone to wake up next to for as long as she could remember, but while everyone else had been pairing off, she’d been waking up alone morning after morning.

Sure, she had had a few nice nights with women.

She had also gotten drunk one night and woken up next to Bridgette, but that had just been them crashing because of alcohol.

Bridgette now had Monica to wake up next to for the rest of her life, and as Jill rolled over and saw the empty side of the bed, she let out a deep breath, wishing Willa was there.

She knew it was far too soon to say that Willa was her person, that they’d be together forever and would plan a wedding one day.

She wasn’t some na?ve woman who met someone, fell in love instantly, and just expected her to move in.

But she had already gotten used to Willa being there, making breakfast with her, talking to Juni about school, or anything else, really.

She missed her and wished she’d asked her to stay over, after all.

She’d wanted to spend some quality time with Juni last night, yes, but she had remembered that Juni would go to sleep early, and Jill and Willa could have the rest of the night to themselves, so when they’d been on the phone the previous night, she’d planned to ask Willa to come over.

But then, Willa had brought up her early interview, and Jill had decided to drop the idea because she wanted Willa to get the job of her dreams.

She hated the thought of Willa being more than fifteen minutes away, and she hated the idea of her not being Juni’s teacher anymore, too, but Juni would only be in fifth grade for a year before she’d move on to a new grade with a different teacher anyway, and Jill could figure out how to make a drive every week or so to Baton Rouge.

She’d bring Juni with her if she had to or have her stay with a sitter for a night, but Jill would make it work because now that she’d been with Willa and felt what it was like to really find someone who made her feel how Willa did, there just wasn’t any other option.

Her phone rang, so she picked it up off the table, half-expecting it to be Willa calling her to tell her about the interview, which should be over about now, but it was her mother.

Jill had talked to her for over an hour yesterday, so she hadn’t expected to hear from her again for at least a week, if not longer, but then again, she was also expecting her mother to change phone numbers and never contact them again, so this was unexpected either way.

“Mom?”

“Hi, Jill,” her mom said.

“What’s up?” Jill asked as she sat up in bed.

“I’m coming home.”

Jill rubbed her face with her free hand for a second and asked, “What?”

She hadn’t heard that right. She hadn’t had her coffee yet, so she was probably just imagining that her mother had said she was coming home. Maybe Jill was still asleep. Was she dreaming? She pinched her thigh, and it hurt, which she was pretty sure meant that she wasn’t dreaming.

“I’ll be home in a week.”

“What?” Jill repeated.

“I said I’m coming home. I’m going to call Juni on your phone later, if that’s okay. I know she has school.”

“Shit,” Jill muttered and shot out of bed. “I need to get her to school.”

“You’re not up yet?”

“I just woke up. I forgot to set my alarm last night, but I’ll get her there on time. Also, you have no right to give me a hard time about not waking up. You’re not here.”

“I know.”

Jill stood, found a pair of jeans that were still relatively clean on the floor, and went to slip them onto her legs while balancing the phone against her cheek and shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” her mom added.

“Not that I’m not happy to hear this, but what changed? You were so adamant before.”

“Your grandmother is here.”

“Grandma is there ?” Jill asked.

“She hopped on a plane yesterday. She got here after you and I got off the phone. I assumed you sent her.”

“No, I had no idea,” she said as she slipped into a pair of tennis shoes.

“Well, we talked all night, and your grandmother is very persuasive.”

“Mom, you can’t come back if you’re just going to leave again,” Jill told her and sat on the side of the bed. “Juni can’t handle that. She’s already lost one parent, and…”

Jill wanted to add that she couldn’t, either, because this was her mother, too.

Yes, she was an adult who lived on her own, and she’d taken care of herself for a long time, but this was still her mother; a woman she’d partially lost long ago, but a woman she still loved, whom Jill wanted to be proud of her, a woman she wanted to have at her wedding one day and to hold her grandchildren should Jill decide to have them.

“I know. I know,” her mother said when Jill didn’t add anything else. “I’ve missed her terribly.”

“Her…” Jill replied as she stood back up and grabbed her purse. “You’re coming back because you miss Juni? What happens if you get here, spend a month with her, and you no longer miss her? Do you leave again?”

“It’s not like that, Jill. It’s been so hard without him.

It’s been a year, and I just didn’t know how I was going to keep looking into her eyes and thinking about how she’s half of him.

I didn’t know how to keep doing this, watching her grow up without him there, so I just couldn’t be there anymore. ”

“What’s changed?” Jill asked again.

“I realized what I would miss when your grandmother pointed it all out. I’d miss her sweet sixteen, her first date, her first heartbreak, her graduation, and going off to college, if that’s what she wants to do.

I’d miss all of it, and I don’t want that.

He wouldn’t want that, either. He loved her so much. ”

“Yeah,” Jill said. “Mom, I’m glad you’re coming home, but I’ve got to get Juni up and to school. Will you call later?”

“Can I talk to her tonight?”

Jill sighed and said, “You have to promise me you will come back. You can’t just talk to her, tell her that you’ll see her soon, and then not show up. She deserves so much better than that, Mom.”

“I know.”

“Call later, and we’ll see, okay?”

“Okay. Your grandmother is still here, by the way. She said she’s staying for the week and is going to make sure I leave.

I just need a few more days. I started working for my friend when I got here, and I’ve been helping her pack up the products she makes and ship them off.

She’s really busy right now, and I promised I would help in exchange for the free place to stay.

I told her this morning that I was leaving soon, though. Just give me a few more days, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Jill replied.

She still wasn’t sure she believed her mother that she was really coming home, but she couldn’t worry about that now. She needed to get Juni to school because they were running late. Then, she had to come back and get herself ready for work.

“Morning, kiddo,” she said to Juni, who was already in the kitchen, fully dressed and eating cereal.

Jill smiled at her because, of course, she was. Juni was a responsible kid.

“Morning,” Juni replied. “Is Willa here?”

“Uh… No. Why?” she asked, sitting down next to her sister and snatching a piece of her cereal from the bowl.

“She’s usually here now.”

“She wasn’t here last night,” Jill reminded her. “We had fun, right?”

“Yes,” Juni replied with a smile.

They had watched a movie together, and then Juni had taught her how to play a game she liked that took at least two people.

They’d ordered pizza again, but Juni had requested it this time.

Jill had had a good time, too, and while she was hopeful that her mother would keep her word, she knew that she’d also miss this a little, too.

“Does Willa being here sometimes bother you?”

“No,” Juni replied. “I like Miss Mailor. She’s my favorite teacher.”

“But having her here as my friend is different. Is that still okay?”

Juni looked down at her bowl and said, “I saw you two kissing.”

Jill closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair.

“Oh.”

“Do you…” Juni turned to her. “Kiss girls how girls kiss boys? How Mel and Kyle kiss?”

Jill nodded and said, “Yes, I do.”

“Oh,” Juni replied and looked out the back window. “Miss Mailor does, too?”

“Juni, I need to tell you something that I’m trusting you with because I know you’re good at keeping secrets, okay?”

“Okay.”

“You know the word ‘gay?’”

Juni nodded once and replied, “Mom taught me what it means.”

Jill smiled at her and said, “Well, that’s me. I’m gay. I like girls how some girls like boys.”

“And you like my teacher?”

“I do,” Jill said, smiling wider. “And Miss Mailor likes me, too. Willa is my girlfriend. We’re a couple, how Mom and your dad used to be.”

“You’re married?” Juni asked with wide eyes.

“Oh, no. That’s not what I meant.” Jill shook her head. “Sorry, that’s my fault.” She rubbed her face with both hands and added, “I just meant that we’re together.”

“She’s your girlfriend how Freddy is my boyfriend?”

“Sorry… What?” Jill asked.

Juni smiled at her and said, “Freddy R is my boyfriend.”

“You’re ten years old. You don’t have a boyfriend.”

“He asked me to be his girlfriend on Friday, and I said yes.” Juni’s smile grew wider.

“I am so not prepared for this,” Jill said mostly to herself. “What does it mean to have a boyfriend to you?”

“We sit next to each other in class. We share our lunches. We play tag at recess with everyone.”

Jill nodded and said, “Yes, that’s exactly what it means. That’s all there is to it.”

“You and Willa share lunches.”

“We do, yes. Lots of lunches. That’s all.”

“You kiss,” Juni added.

“Um… Yeah, we do. But that’s a grown-up thing.”

“When do I get to kiss a boy how you kiss girls?”

“When you’re thirty,” Jill blurted out.

“You’re not thirty,” Juni argued, which made Jill regret reminding Juni of her age a few days ago.

“Twenty-five, then,” she corrected. “I meant twenty-five.”

“But I’m only ten,” Juni replied. “And Freddy is only eleven.”

“He’s older than you?” Jill shook her head. “I think I’ll need to meet this Freddy.”

“Okay. He’s supposed to walk me into school today.”

Jill gritted her teeth and said, “Great. Can’t wait.” Then, she remembered that she needed to say something else. “Juni, can you keep a secret?”

“Yes.”

“I need you not to tell anyone at school, not even Freddy, about Miss Mailor being my girlfriend, okay? It’s very important.”

“Okay. But why?”

Jill had no idea how to explain the world to her little sister, but now that the door was open, she had to figure it out.

“You know how you and Freddy just became boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“It’s new and exciting, right?”

“Yes,” Juni said with a smile.

“And you wouldn’t want anyone to ruin it for you, right?”

“No,” Juni said and shook her head.

“Well, Miss Mailor and I just met, and we really, really like each other. It’s new and exciting, and we just want to spend time together before everyone else finds out.”

“Okay. I won’t say anything.”

“Thank you, Juni,” she replied. “Now, let’s get you to school. I have to meet your… your boyfriend.”

“He has a pet salamander,” Juni shared.

“Oh, great. That’s cool,” Jill replied.

“Freddy said I could take care of him for the night. His name is Steven.”

“Steven the salamander? Wait. Take care of him?”

“Yeah. He can bring Steven to school, and I could bring him here and feed him and watch him for the night.”

“Oh,” Jill said. “What do salamanders eat?”

“Maggots.”

“Oh, hell no,” she replied.

“And crickets.”

“Let’s get you to school. I need to talk to this Freddy character about his choice of pets,” Jill said.

◆◆◆

Willa Mailor : I’m not doing drop-off this morning because I’m setting up for class. I was late because of the interview. Can I call you later and tell you about it?

Jill stared at her phone as she sat in the car.

She’d just dropped Juni off, meeting little Freddy, who looked like an average eleven-year-old boy.

Jill glared at him to try to scare him away from her little sister, which was probably ridiculous because they were kids and this silly boyfriend-girlfriend thing would be over soon, but Jill was overprotective now, and if this little boy hurt her sister, he’d have to deal with her.

That was also ridiculous because she wouldn’t do anything to a kid, but he didn’t need to know that.

Jill had hoped Willa would be there so that they could talk and Jill could tell her that Juni now knew about them and hear about the interview, but she had to get home to change, so she’d have to wait until later.

She texted back that she couldn’t wait to hear about it and that she had something to tell her as well.

Really, she had two somethings to tell Willa: that Juni knew about their relationship and that there was a chance her mom might come home, so Jill might get her life back.

When she got home, she jogged to the shower, cleaned up, and changed quickly, deciding to drive in today and leave the car at Melinda and Kyle’s because she would be late if she took the bus. Just as she got into her car, though, her phone rang again.

“Grandma?”

“Hi, honey. Your mom said she called you.”

“She did. Why didn’t you tell me you were going to go there?”

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up in case my last-ditch effort to get my only daughter to get her shit together didn’t work.”

Jill chuckled and asked, “What are the odds that it will work? She said she was coming home, but she also said she’d give me money to take care of Juni. She paid the mortgage this month, at least, but that’s it.”

“I’m staying here until she goes home.”

“But what if she comes home and leaves again?”

“I don’t know, honey. We would just have to cross that bridge if it comes to it.”

Jill stared at the house in front of her and thought about how excited Juni had been the previous night, watching the movie, hanging out with her big sister, and then introducing her to her new boyfriend at school and making arrangements for the salamander to spend the night.

If their mother tried to do anything to screw up Juni’s life, Jill would do everything she could to protect that little girl, even if it meant becoming a parent long before she’d ever planned on it.