Page 14 of Journey to the Elderoak (Daughter of the Earth #2)

R ough fibers dug into Ava’s palms as she climbed the rope ladder, not yet able to celebrate the victory. Not until she knew Casimir was alright. With each step of her booted feet, her heart beat louder in her ears.

Please be okay, she urged.

She was still in disbelief that she'd summoned those creatures again and rode on one, finishing the battle and ensuring their victory. Would animals come to her aid any time she called, or was it only in the direst circumstances?

“Ava,” Raine called out from below.

“Yes?”

“Prepare yourself,” he said, voice serious. “Though we may have won, I’m sure plenty of our men still died. I don’t know what we’ll find up there.”

“Okay.” Dread washed over her. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Am I going crazy, or did I see Casimir glowing earlier?”

Raine cleared his throat. “Umm…I don’t think he’ll want to talk about that.”

“What? I’m not crazy? ”

“Well, I didn’t say that .”

“I’d punch you right now if I could reach you.”

“I know.”

“Well?” Ava asked, hoping for more detail.

“All I’m going to say is Cas doesn’t talk about it. It reminds him too much of Elara.”

“Who’s Elara?”

“This conversation ends now. If you want to know details, ask Cas. Though I suggest you don’t. He doesn’t handle that topic well.”

“Okay, fine.”

Elara? Glowing? Did Casimir have other magic too?

Was he a hybrid? Questions swirled about in her head as she realized she knew nothing about him.

He’d never spoken of his past and other than Raine’s brief explanation about him being orphaned in the war and raised by Raine’s father, he was a closed book.

Was Elara a family member? Or maybe an ex?

At the thought of him being with anyone else, a wave of jealousy appeared, which was absurd.

Of course he hadn’t been celibate. She’d been with others too.

But for some reason the thought of anyone else flirting with him, or feeling the warmth of his body, made her suddenly insecure.

They reached the top and a familiar large hand appeared over the rail. With a huge sigh of relief, she grasped it and let him pull her to the deck. Casimir and Pax stood before her, the latter with a huge grin on his face. Dozens of sailors cheered behind them.

“Princess! Princess! Princess!”

She scanned the group and gave them a smile as Gisela interrupted the celebration.

“Alright, you bastards. Time to get to work and clean this ship up!” She looked at Ava and winked as if she knew how much she disliked being the center of attention.

She turned back to Casimir, who was looking at her with awe, but something was wrong.

Bags under his eyes contrasted the pallor of his skin and he didn’t appear to be able to stand, leaning on Pax for support.

Her eyes trailed down his body and caught on his hand pressed into his side, drenched in blood.

She rushed forward. “You’re hurt. What happened? What do we do?”

“I’ll be fine,” he said, voice rough and weaker than usual.

Ava looked at Pax for confirmation. “He’s right. He’ll be as good as new. We just need to get him to one of the healers.”

Two out of the three healers they’d brought had survived and were already bustling about as dozens of injured lay moaning on straw mats.

Ava pretended to be unbothered, doing her best to hide the worry on her face, but inside she was terrified. He was hurt. Significantly. As much as Casimir himself and Pax tried to downplay it, it looked horrific.

“Okay, then,” she said with a shaky breath. “Let’s lie him down.”

Raine was already giving the crew instructions while Pax walked Casimir to an open mat a few yards away. He grunted in pain as Pax lowered him.

“I’m going to go see who else needs help,” Pax told her.

Ava sat next to Casimir on the floor, crossing her legs.

His hand slipped from the wound and blood seeped out. Jumping to her knees, she leaned over and placed her palms on it, applying as much pressure as she could manage. Casimir groaned as she pressed harder into his side.

“You promise you won’t die from this?”

He let out a small laugh and winced. “I promise.”

Pax’s voice boomed across the deck. “We need a healer for the general!”

“Be right there,” someone called out.

“What happened?” she asked, blood oozing between her fingers .

“There were too many of them and I was stabbed with a sword,” he said. “Not a very exciting story. I’d rather hear about your adventure in the ocean.”

“When I realized we were being overrun, I remembered how I had called that creature a few nights ago. I didn’t even know if it would work but we went down there and tried it anyway.”

“And it worked.”

“Yes. Yes, it did.”

“That was risky,” he said, his voice gravelly. “Did Raine even try to stop you?”

“He did. But I got in his face and made him listen.”

He looked at her for a long time, searching her face. “You’re amazing.”

She gave him a small smile as a healer arrived.

“You can let go, Your Highness.” The man knelt beside Casimir and opened a small apothecary bag.

She removed her hands and moved to his other side as the healer placed his own hands upon the wound. It was deep; almost all the way through his back. The healer pressed hard and chanted softly.

“Fuck,” Casimir said, closing his eyes.

Ava grabbed his hand and squeezed. “Breathe through it,” she murmured as she reached out and brushed a strand of hair from his face.

He tightened his grip and hissed through gritted teeth.

She had the sudden urge to hold him, to take care of him.

Like he had for her. “I’m here,” she added, stroking the top of his hand.

The healer released his magic and ripped open Casimir’s tunic. Ava tried not to gasp at the brutal wound revealing layers of muscle and fat.

“I need to stitch you up, general,” said the healer. “I can find some numbing balm to help with the pain. ”

“No,” Casimir barked. “Hurry and do it. Save it for the other injured.”

“Oh, come on,” Ava chastised. “Don’t be so stubborn. That’s deep and it’s going to hurt.”

“No numbing balm,” he said, irritated. “Do it. Now.”

The healer began to work, cleaning the injury before he prepared the sutures.

Within minutes he was stitching each layer of the wound.

Casimir’s eyes remained closed, his jaw clenched so hard surely his teeth would shatter.

She stayed by his side in silent comfort as he went into a meditative state to focus through the pain.

“Is he doing his whole ‘I don’t need numbing balm, every wound is a reminder to be better next time’ bit?” Raine’s voice cut through the noise as he stood before them.

“Is that what this is about?” Ava asked as she looked at Raine.

“Oh, yeah. Cas is the king of self-inflicted punishment. He thinks it makes him stronger or some bullshit.”

Casimir opened his eyes and glowered at his friend. “Fuck off.”

Raine raised his hands in defeat, looking at Ava. “Let’s leave him to his martyrdom or whatever.”

“Go with him,” Casimir said hoarsely. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Go. I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Fine.” She let go of his hand and rose, glancing back at him one last time. His eyes were closed again as the healer finished his stitches. She looked at Raine. “Do you need help with something?”

They walked along the deck and Raine pulled her aside. “This next part is going to be hard,” he said with compassion.

“What next part?” she whispered.

“You’re the princess. You represent all of Monterre on this ship. If Thorne were here, he’d be doing the same thing I’m about to have you do.”

“Okay. What are we doing?”

“Making the rounds. Visiting the injured and being a steady presence as we assess the casualties. There will be some of our soldiers who are still alive but won’t make it. They need comfort.”

“And I need to be the one to comfort them?”

“Yes. It means a lot when royalty and leaders provide that. You can grieve, but you can’t fall apart in front of everyone.

Hold it together now and fall apart later.

Casimir would be out here doing the same thing if he wasn’t injured.

And knowing him, he’ll probably be up and about sooner than he should be to do exactly this. ”

She swallowed. “Alright.”

Raine led her back to the wounded, starting with those who were under the care of the healers; the ones who would survive.

She reminded herself of how her mother used to be a steady presence in the face of stress and channeled that serenity, shoving down her trepidation as she visited with the patients.

Once Raine saw she was in the throes of it, he left her to do the same at the other end of the ship.

The ship was full of pained moans and whimpers, murmurs of healers and the uninjured helping the best they could.

Ava knelt beside a soldier whose leg was being stitched, when the woman next to her asked for water.

She retrieved it, helping her sit up to drink, before returning to comfort the soldier in pain.

She spent hours tending to the wounded and providing reassuring words, sitting with them as a distraction while their injuries were treated.

Several asked to hear the story of how she called the ocean drakes resulting in their victory, and she obliged, describing how it felt to ride on such a fierce creature.

So much blood and gore. So much pain and suffering. It nearly overwhelmed her, but she shoved the horrors of war and her fear of what was to come away. Locked it in her box and focused on being present.

How much could that box hold before it became too heavy a burden? Before it burst and overtook her?

The sun was high in the sky by the time she reached an area of the deck where about a dozen soldiers lay. Pax was standing watch and when he saw her approach, his face fell.

“What?” she said.

He leaned in, whispering in her ear, “These are the injured who won’t make it. The healers aren’t here helping because there’s nothing they can do.”

A lump formed in her throat as she scanned the small group, when her eyes caught on a familiar face. Zeph.

No.

A blanket covered her torso, hiding the fatal injuries.

Ava forced herself not to collapse in shock as she approached her guard and knelt, brushing a strand of blue hair out of Zeph’s face with a trembling hand.

She opened her eyes and gave Ava the faintest smile, her breaths coming in slow, short bursts.

“Princess,” she rasped.

“Shhh,” Ava said as she took her hand.

She glanced at Pax who knelt on Zeph’s other side, trying to hide the devastation on his face. He was about to lose his partner, his friend who he’d been stationed with for decades.

“I don’t think she has much longer,” he whispered as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“Princess…” Zeph said. “Don’t forget…what…I taught you…”

Ava squeezed her hand. “I won’t.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Her heart broke as she stayed seated on the ground, fighting against the tears threatening to spill down her face.

Zeph took a shuddering breath. “Will you stay…until the end? ”

“We will,” Ava said, her voice taught.

She held Zeph’s hand while Pax stroked her face, humming a mournful fae song. Ava picked up the tune and hummed along, their voices intertwined in a forlorn melody. It wasn’t long before Zeph took her last breath, right as the song ended. As if she’d been waiting to hear it before fading away.

Once she was gone, Pax recited their prayer, his deep voice cracking. “May the Earth Mother hold you and keep you. May you never know pain and sorrow. And may you bask in the sunlight of the afterlife for eternity.”

Ava allowed her tears to fall but remained calm, remembering Raine’s words.

Hold it together now and fall apart later.

And she couldn’t lose it now, because Pax was falling apart across from her.

The giant orc warrior let out a sob as he kissed Zeph’s head and closed her eyes.

His shoulders shook with silent tears as he bowed his head and didn’t leave.

“I’ll miss you, dear friend,” he whispered through his tears.

Ava bit her lip and blew out a breath as another dying soldier called out to her, then another.

“Will you hold my hand, Your Highness?”

“Will you stay with me?”

Ava rose, gave Pax a squeeze on the shoulder, and went to the next soldier.

She spent hours sitting with the dying warriors, comforting them in their last moments.

At some point she saw Casimir doing the same thing, despite him barely being able to walk, but she was too numb to acknowledge him. Lost in a fog of grief.

They all wanted solace as they moved on to the afterlife; wanted someone to hold their hand, to sing to them.

Ava committed Pax’s prayer to memory and recited it to every man and woman who passed.

She’d had a sense of camaraderie with these sailors and even though she hadn’t known them long, the last couple of weeks on the ship had brought her close to the crew .

Zeph was gone.

She wished she’d gotten to know her sooner.

Stationed at Ava’s door since the day she arrived, they’d barely spoken other than cordial greetings until this trip.

The cook from the ship’s kitchen was gone.

So were several other sailors she had laughed and joked around with at dinner.

Ones who had cheered her on as she fought Pax in the ring.

Sailors who treated her like a friend instead of royalty.

By the time the day was over and night had fallen, Ava found a quiet place away from everyone on the back of the ship. Hiding behind a stack of crates, she slumped to the ground and let herself lose control as she put her head in her hands and cried.

Exhausted and numb, she wept for her friends, for the future of their kingdom, and for what was to come. How many more people would they lose? Ava had already lost so much. Most of her family, her only friend back home. And now that she’d found her place, she feared she may lose even more.

She didn’t know how long she cried, but at some point Raine appeared and sat beside her, silent. He reached over and held her hand and she laid her head on his shoulder as she let the tears continue to fall.

Raine cleared his throat, trying to hide his own tears as he laid his head atop hers in silent support. The two of them sat together under the night sky, and grieved until they had no tears left.