Page 5 of It’s Me, but Different (Merriweather Sisters #3)
Sloane
“Could we talk about something other than Esme Torres?” I growl, slamming my hand on the table.
River's lasagna, normally my weakness, gets stuck in my throat ever since they started talking about her. I've even lost my appetite.
Thursday family dinners are a tradition that not even the worst snowstorms have managed to interrupt. But tonight, it feels more like torture.
“I'm just saying,” Ivy continues, “it's curious how the universe works. Eleven years later, your great college love shows up at Silver Peaks, widowed and with two adorable kids.”
“The universe had nothing to do with it; it was those two,” I protest, pointing toward River and Anika, who have to stop drinking to keep from choking on their laughter.
“As I recall, she was the only person you brought home during your college years,” Harper adds.
“Why are you all suddenly so interested in her?”
“Honey, you just have to see how you look at her,” River interrupts. “You look like an abandoned puppy every time you see her, even from a distance. We're just worried about our sister.”
“You're idiots,” I growl.
“It's been eleven years, and you're still drooling over her,” she insists.
“How are the lessons going with her kids?” Julie asks, offering me a dignified exit from the previous conversation.
Naturally, I grab the opportunity like a drowning person grabs a life preserver.
“Very well. Ana Sofia has a natural talent for skiing, almost instinctive. She reminds me of…” I stop, aware of the trap I was about to fall into.
“Of Esme?” Anika completes with a smile while reaching for River's hand with hers.
I just sigh, defeated.
“Yes, of Esme. She learned to ski with amazing ease. And her daughter is the same. Theo, on the other hand, is more analytical. He's scared, but it's just because he thinks everything through before acting.”
“Sounds like Harper,” River jokes. “I remember when Dad took us to that black diamond slope in Switzerland for the first time. She was terrified, but refused to admit it. She ended up going down with her eyes practically closed. I never saw anyone ski so stiffly and live to tell about it.”
The laughter makes them temporarily forget about Esme. Wine flows, memories and anecdotes intertwine, and for a moment, everything returns to normal. Until Ivy decides to drop another bomb.
“Their father's death must have been really hard on the kids. Especially being so young.”
“They were six,” Anika confirms. “They were just starting school. And now Esme… having to raise them alone… whew.”
Luckily, Ivy comes to my rescue when she sees I'm not comfortable.
“Changing the subject,” my twin interrupts in an attempt to give me a break. “Did you hear there's a woman asking questions in town about our family?”
“What kind of questions?” Harper asks, frowning.
“Nothing specific,” Ivy responds, shrugging. “Meg, the new girl at the coffee shop, told me some woman with an East Coast accent has been asking about the resort, about the family's history, that kind of thing.”
“Probably another journalist looking for an easy article,” River growls with a dismissive gesture. “Ever since Harper appeared on the cover of Forbes, they keep showing up.”
“Whoever it is, if she wants to talk to us, she knows where to find us. Or she can also contact our press department. She doesn't need to go around asking questions in town, unless she's looking for some kind of scandal or something like that,” my older sister protests.
The conversation soon shifts to more everyday topics: the possible Michelin star for River's restaurant at the top of the mountain, Julie's new glass designs, the company's expansion plans.
Little by little, the tension leaves the dinner.
The lasagna disappears, replaced by a delicious chocolate dessert shaped like a snowy mountain that makes us all forget our worries.
It's later, while the others move to the living room to play a board game that has become our tradition after dinners, when my older sister takes the opportunity to talk to me alone.
“Are you okay?” she asks in a low voice, taking me by the elbow. “Really.”
“I don't know,” I admit with a sigh. “Esme is the only person who's made me question what I want in life. If I had been a little more mature and hadn't let her go, maybe now…”
“You can't keep living on 'what ifs.' The decisions we make throughout life define us, for better or worse.”
“I know. It's just that…” I stop, searching for the right words. “In the end, the bronze medal is stored behind a display case, and the injury took me out of competition anyway. I sacrificed what could have been the love of my life for a dream that didn't even last.”
“Sloane, listen to me. You can't change the past. And even if you could, you have to remember that Esme is no longer the same twenty-year-old girl you met in college. She's lived an entire life without you. She got married, had kids, lost her husband…”
“I know,” I interrupt her, raising a hand to quiet her. Imagining all those moments I wasn't part of because I was stupid is still too painful.
“What I mean,” my sister continues, raising her eyebrows, “is that any... any attempt at reconnection between you two would be infinitely more complicated now. It's not just Esme who's at stake. It's also her children and the memories she holds from all these years.”
She's right, but that doesn't make her words hit me any less hard. It's not just a matter of two ex-girlfriends meeting again. There are two eight-year-old kids who have already lost a father.
“I haven't talked about picking up where we left off,” I murmur, though part of me rebels against that idea. “I'm just processing the fact of seeing her again. Nothing more.”
“I understand,” Harper assures me, squeezing my shoulder. “Just… be careful, okay? With her feelings and with yours. Now, let's go with the others,” she suggests, nodding toward where the rest of my sisters are with Julie and Anika.