Page 46 of Isn’t It Nice We Both Hate the Same Things

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

Later that night, by the pool, peated whisky in hand, Graham is little help with the situation.

‘You think I should see him?’

‘Sure.’

‘So that’s a yes?’

‘Okay.’ He’s distracted by the fireworks display let off by a neighbour down the road. It’s loud and constant – a crackle of pink, blue and red in the sky.

I wave my hand in front of his face, and he startles. ‘Sorry, what were we talking about?’

‘Dave’s text.’

‘Still going on about that engagement ring, is he?’

I glance down at my phone, re-reading it.

He hasn’t said anything about the ring, but I know that’s what he’s implying.

Know him well enough that he wants to settle this in person.

That he’s sick of messaging. Sick of dragging this out.

I’ve tried calling my sister, because I’d like her opinion, but she’s still not answering.

‘Is he even going to care that you lost the ring?’ Graham asks. ‘The man never noticed it was gone.’

Pondering his question for a moment, I sip my drink. Will he care? I don’t know. Hadn’t really considered it, just felt such guilt for losing it in the first place I didn’t want to tell him. And then, after the separation, I didn’t want to see him.

Fireworks erupt again, higher in the sky, and louder. Small green bursts then wider orange explosions. With each beat, Graham’s face is illuminated. He looks pensive. Complacent.

‘Charlie.’ He turns to me, holds my gaze, smiles. ‘I’ve decided to leave, after I finish the show. Travel overseas, for months. Maybe years. Sell the house. Sell all my things and just go.’

There is silence for a moment. And then an explosion of fireworks – the short, sharp pop pop pop as it continues on and on.

‘Fuck.’

‘Language.’

‘You’re leaving? But …’

He’s leaving. Another person, gone.

Pop.

Pop.

Pop.

I slump, feeling a great heaviness travel through my body. Right down to my toes. Do I laugh at this point? Is there someone, somewhere, playing some cruel joke on me, as they rip everyone from my life?

‘I’m sorry, Charlie.’

‘How soon after the show? How much time do we have?’

His head tips to the side, and his smile is sympathetic now. ‘House goes on the market tomorrow.’

I choke a little. He must’ve been deliberating on this for some time. He’s not going to change his mind. And with that, my disappointment grows.

‘Oh.’

‘I know.’

‘That’s …’

‘I know.’

I’m excited for him, of course. What kind of person would I be if I wasn’t? ‘I can’t believe you’re leaving.’

He bends over to grab the whisky bottle and tops up the glass in my hand. I hadn’t even realised I’d finished it.

‘Sorry to kick you out,’ he continues. ‘I’ve liked having you here.’

‘We live on opposite sides of the house. Sometimes I don’t even know if you’re home.’

Small smile. ‘I know.’ Then he clinks his glass against mine. ‘Regardless, I’ve loved living with you. More than I did with four of my ex-wives.’

‘Ex-wives two, three, four and five?’

He makes a face. Of course those four – don’t be daft.

‘Selling your house, though,’ I say, looking back over my shoulder at the grand exterior. I fear I might’ve taken the place for granted. ‘I can’t believe it.’

‘The news will hit tomorrow. Finally, something else for people to say about me, instead of that video.’

‘And being fired.’

‘So thoughtful of you to remind me.’ The corner of his mouth lifts.

‘I’m going to miss you.’

‘You’re going to be just fine,’ he says, warmly, sinking further into his lounge, looks up at the sky. Closes his eyes, as if letting the evening fall over him. ‘We’re all going to be just fine.’

I’m not sure I believe that, but in this moment I choose to accept it.

I imagine Graham hopping around the world.

A part of me questions whether he’ll return, but then the rest of me fears I’m only thinking this because of Genevieve.

Because she’s not coming back. Because I’m worried history is repeating itself.

‘You and Genevieve,’ I say. ‘I think I’m sadder about both of you moving away than I was about ending my marriage.’

‘That’s because you grieved the end of the relationship while you were in it,’ he says. ‘By the time you left, you were fine.’

Remarkable how much this impacts me. Hits me like someone striking my face.

How right he is, and he says it so plainly like it’s the simplest thing in the world.

I was thinking of leaving Dave for months.

Was tossing it over in my mind, mulling it over night after night, until I found out what he’d done.

‘So you think I should see him?’ I ask.

Graham releases an exhausted groan. Rubs his brow. ‘Charlie, if I’m being honest, I’m a little tired of talking about Dave. Go see him, or don’t. Tell him about the engagement ring, or don’t. But please, please , make a decision.’