Page 28 of Ironhold, Trial Two
When I head back down into the depths of the Colosseum, the others keep their distance from me. It’s as if they are afraid, after everything they’ve seen me do. Those of the newer gladiators who have survived keep away from me. I see Vex, but he hurriedly goes the other way.
Even Rowan keeps his distance. I half expect him to come to me, to tell me that everything will be all right. I hope that is what he will do, but now he looks at me as if he can’t quite understand what I am. He knows that I have control over beasts, but now… now he has seen what I am capable of if I lash out.
I head to the beast pens. Stefano is there, applying his healing talents to the shadow cat. He tuts as he sees me, then heals my wounds too. I don’t feel as though I deserve it. Naia will not heal from what has been done to her, so why should I? But I let him do it. I need to heal, need to recover, because I know there will be more fights to come soon enough.
That is the reality of the Colosseum too: it is never done. Even when, if, I survive my five seasons and earn my freedom, there will still be others pulled into it. More young women and men will be dragged from their homes, trained, and then thrown against one another. I think of the new gladiators. I don’t even know half of them, because I hadn’t wanted to get attached to them when they might die. I don’t know if that was a good decision or not. Undoubtedly, some of them will have been killed on the sands. Did not knowing them save me some pain, or did it rob me of the chance to know them and hold their memories in my mind?
If I had the chance to go back and never know Naia, would I take it? No. Absolutely not. The time I have known her has been precious. I would not trade it away for anything.
I wander aimlessly through the under sections of the Colosseum. The sounds of the arena are still ongoing. My fight was not the final one of the day, not the high point, the finale. There is no way the emperor would countenance having me as the main event, and in any case, I have only one fight today, when there are others who have more. Alaric is one, because I see him head back out into the arena.
I do not watch, but I can still hear the sounds of the battle, and I’m a little surprised to find my heart beating faster in my chest at the thought of what might be happening to him. I wait, knowing that he has as many skills as any other gladiator at Ironhold, but that doesn’t make me feel any better about it all.
Even as I wait, I see Ravenna coming over to me. It’s surprising to see her down here at this stage. She is usually up above, mingling with the nobles, exerting her influence to improve her own position and the control she can exert within Aetheria. I imagine her there, whispering in the ears of young nobles, suggesting things they might do outside the games that will benefit her interests. Maybe she even includes a flicker of mental control with it, because I know she does not shy away from using her powers on others.
Those thoughts make me think of Naia, of the way her face went blank just before she tore the cuff from my wrist. Of the things she said, which made no sense at the time, but which are now starting to come into focus. I realized that they were one half of a conversation, things that someone whispered into her ears.
“I'm glad to see that you came through your fight unscathed,” Ravenna says. “It is terrible what Vex did to Naia.”
She looks genuinely hurt by it, but I get the feeling now that she could look any way she wanted. This is someone for whom manipulation comes as naturally as breathing.
“Do you care what happened to her?” I ask.
“Of course I care,” Ravenna says. “I liked her. She was… sweet.”
From her mouth, that sounds almost like an insult. Sweetness is not a quality Ravenna cares about.
“But what happened to her shows how we should all stick together,” Ravenna says. “It demonstrates how quickly things can go wrong. It shows the importance of having allies you can trust, rather than trying to rely on the likes of Vex.”
“And you're the ally I should trust?” I say.
Ravenna smiles, and I must admit she has a beautiful smile. It's easy to relax around her. Easy to trust her, easy to… I pause and realize that I can feel something pushing at the edges of my mind.
“Is that what you did to Naia?” I ask. “A little influence here, a little there? Just pushing at her mind? I know you're trying to get into mine.”
“I just want us to be friends,” Ravenna says. “Apologies if I have touched your mind. It comes so naturally for me. I certainly don't mean any harm with it.”
Again she sounds so plausible and so innocent of any wrongdoing. But I know her well enough by now to know that she very rarely does anything unintended.
“Friends don't push into other friends’ minds,” I say.
“No?” she replies. “But perhaps I might be able to help you by doing it. Perhaps I might be able to find the control you're looking for.”
“And who would be in control, Ravenna?” I ask.
She pauses. “You don't trust me, Lyra, and that's fine. Maybe I need to earn your trust. But I want to think we could be allies. You have seen my friends. You know the influence I can exert. I could do that in your favor. I could try to make things easier for you, here in the Colosseum.”
She's making promises now but they're vague, and in any case I can't look past the rising anger within me, past the certainty that is coming along with it.
“Right before she tore off the cuff they were using to dampen my powers,” I say, “Naia’s face went blank, and she started muttering things. Things that someone else had whispered into her ear. You have spent a lot of time whispering to her recently, haven't you, Ravenna?”
Ravenna frowns. “I don't know what you're accusing me of, Lyra.”
“Don't you? Cut the act. We both know that you influenced her to cut the cuff from my wrist. I just don't know why you did it, what you stood to gain.”
Ravenna looks as though she might still deny it, but she must see the certainty in my eyes and know that she isn't going to convince me.
“Maybe I did convince her,” Ravenna says. “Maybe there were some people who had placed large bets on you after I suggested it. Some people who weren't happy once they learned about the restrictions that had been placed on your powers. Maybe I needed to find a way to ensure that you won. You should be thanking me for that, Lyra. Or do you think you would have survived otherwise?”
The worst part is that she's right. If Naia hadn't done what she did, I would probably be dead by now. There would have been no way to defeat the frost drake. But that doesn't mean I can forgive what Ravenna did. It doesn't mean I believe her motives.
“You didn't do this to save me,” I say. “And I'm not convinced it was just about money either. I think you saw a different kind of opportunity. I'm told that the arch magistrate came close to striking me down when she saw that my powers were loose. I think someone suggested to you that they would be grateful if I put myself in a position to be killed.”
“Now you're just making guesses,” Ravenna says, but there's a hint of reaction on her face, a flicker that suggests I’m right. And if I am right, then the only person I can think of who might want that to happen would be the emperor.
“What did the emperor offer you?” I ask. “Was it position? Power?”
Ravenna doesn’t answer.
“Whatever it was, I hope it was worth it,” I say. “I hope it was worth Naia’s life.”
“You think my actions cost her life?” Ravenna counters.
“We had an arrangement,” I say. “I could have taken her down and made it look good. She could have been safe. Instead, I had to deal with the frost drake, and I had to take the time to rein in my powers. All because of you.”
“You're giving me too much credit,” Ravenna says. She looks worried.
“It isn't credit,” I assure her. “Do you want to be my ally? After what you just did? We aren’t allies, Ravenna. Try to scheme around me, if you want. Try to manipulate things. But one day, we will meet out there in the arena, and I will make you pay for what you did.”
“We will see,” Ravenna says, moving away from me.
I want to find a way to make her pay now, but there is no time. Alaric is already coming back into the space beneath the Colosseum, with no more than a couple of scratches, his own blades covered in blood. Outside, a horn sounds.
The final fight of the day is at an end. The games are over.