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Page 15 of Ironhold, Trial Two

“ You know that I could get you out of the Colosseum?” a drunken nobleman promises me, gesturing to a spot on his couch as if I’m to join him. He is overweight and balding, but seems to assume that I will do what he wants.

“How would you do that?” I ask.

“I would buy you out of Ironhold,” he says. “Just think about it. You could be in the household of nobility. You would never have to worry about violence again. Come here and we'll discuss it.”

“You’d tire of her in a month,” another noble nearby says. It seems that there's a cluster of them all in various stages of inebriation. They must have been drinking steadily as they've been watching the games.

We are in the area given over to mingling between the gladiators and the nobility of Aetheria. It is a large light airy space, hung with drapes and punctuated by statues of great gladiators of the past. There are couches set around it, and servants carry jugs of wine and plates of food. There are private rooms leading off from the central area, for more discreet conversations or for anything else that might happen between the nobles and the gladiators. It is no secret that there is something about the violence and the power of the Colosseum that raises desire in many of the nobles. I suspect some of them even make a game of it. This whole place is about being seen with the gladiators who embody the virtues Aetheria celebrates. A rumor that a noble is sleeping with a famed gladiator only increases their reputation.

I can see some of the other gladiators there. As usual, Ravenna is attracting a lot of attention, and seems happy to play up to it, taking a young nobleman into a side room. Before I thought it was just her playing games because she could but now I suspect there might be some deeper purposes to it. She has already told me that she seeks to wield influence from within the games. Maybe this opportunity to get close to key nobles is a part of it, especially given what she can do with her powers over people's minds.

Alaric has finished his healing session with Stefano and is back to being his usual bright entertaining self, chatting to a group of noble women who look at him admiringly. At least one has already made an invitation to him, although I'm surprised to find that he hasn't accepted. I think I saw the young gladiator Cesca here as well, which means she must have survived her first match. I'm glad.

“Come on,” the nobleman says to me. “Don't you want to get out of the Colosseum?”

“If the price is having to spend the rest of her days in your bed, Marcus, I'm not sure that's a good trade.” Lady Elara’s voice rings out sharply, cutting through the nobles attempts to get me to spend time with him. She approaches. She is back to wearing noble clothes rather than a dark robe. “I believe it's also considered impolite to poach someone who already has a patron.”

The nobleman throws up his hands. “My apologies. I wasn't aware that your interest in her had persisted.”

“And now you're aware,” Lady Elara says. She holds out her hand to me, and I take it so that she can lead me away from them, heading for one of the side rooms. This one has silken hangings everywhere, in shades of blue and green, so that the light seems to shift as it passes through them, taking on their hues. There are couches there, as there are outside, but there are no servants. Instead, wine and small pastries are set out on a table between the couches.

“Please, sit,” Lady Elara says, gesturing to one of the couches.

I moved towards it but there is a question I need answered before we talk about anything else. “Is it true what he said? That a noble could get me out of here permanently?”

She spreads her hands. “The answer to that is complicated. Theoretically, possibly. Practically… almost certainly not. Ironhold values those it has trained, and Lord Darius takes his sacred duty seriously. Occasionally, one hears of a noble being bought out of their commitment, but even that is a rarity, typically after they have been injured so badly that everyone knows they will not survive another season.”

“So you’re saying he was lying?” I say.

“He was,” Lady Elara replies. “The emperor would never allow it, given what you are. And even if he did, would you really want that life?”

I shake my head.

Lady Elara sighs. “If it were that easy to get you out of here, don’t you think I'd already have done it?”

“I… don't know,” I admit.

She looks faintly surprised that I don’t trust her more than that. “I suppose that’s understandable. You think I’m just using you for my own ends.”

“Aren't you?” I counter. I can still remember what I heard back in the temple about the plot against the emperor. It's obvious that I'm to play a part in all of it, but she hasn't set any of it out, hasn't given me a choice about it.

“I see that you could be useful,” Lady Elara admits. “But that doesn't mean I don't want to help you anyway. That I don't want to train you.”

That brings my thoughts back to what I did to the chimera. To the way in which I tore it apart and made it kill itself. The thought makes me wince.

“What is it?” Lady Elara asks.

“In my bout, it was as if I had complete control over the chimera,” I say. “And I used that control to make it hurt itself. I found the different parts of it, and I set them against one another.”

“I saw,” Lady Elara says. “I felt it, too. What you did was impressive, Lyra. A chimera like that would have been too much for many beast whisperers, especially one as new to us as you are.”

She looks proud of me when I feel anything but proud of what I did. It feels as though there's a dark side to everything I can do, as though all of my talents are ultimately designed to hurt and kill.

“I didn't want it to be like that,” I say. “I love living creatures. I don't want to hurt them. I certainly don't want to kill them. That side of my powers is… evil.”

“ Not evil,” Lady Elara insists. “It is simply a natural aspect of these gifts. Remember that the goddess is a huntress. She does not just sit and admire nature. She is one with all aspects of it, including the predatory side.”

“That doesn't mean I have to be,” I say.

Lady Elara looks a little exasperated. “Look around you Lyra. Look where you are. You need this power if you're going to survive. You can't just cut yourself off from a whole strand of your talent. Think of what you did with the crocodile before. You controlled it. You forced it not to bite even when it's instincts insisted that it should. You could have full control over creatures. You could do so much more, too.”

“I'm barely sure I want all the things I can already do,” I say. “And you're promising me more?”

Lady Elara throws herself down on one of the couches, taking the wine and sipping from it As if to calm herself.

“Do you understand how much potential you have? Do you understand the risks I’m taking in training you? You can take on aspects of beasts, to control them, to summon them to your side, to see through their eyes. You can do these things on a scale that most beast whisperers cannot, that I have honestly only heard about in stories of our kind, rather than seen. You have powers that might transform this city. You can do so much, but you're running away from your power.”

“I’m just trying not to use it in the wrong ways,” I say.

“So learn to use these powers correctly!” Lady Elara snaps back. “With enough control, you are the one choosing what happens, rather than using your power on instinct.”

“Would I choose?” I ask. “Or would you?”

I stand, I'm no longer comfortable on the couch.

“Sit down, Lyra.”

“Maybe if you tell me something about what you're planning,” I reply. “I don't like being kept in the dark. It's obvious that you and the others have plans that include me, but you haven’t told me what they are, or what you intend at the end of all of this.”

“It’s safer for you that way,” she says. “For all of us.”

“Just tell me, are you planning to kill the emperor?”

She rushes forward, putting her hand over my mouth. “Are you mad, talking about such things here? Do you think people don't listen? That they don't try to pick up all the salacious gossip or see more than they should? That is why I haven't told you anything. One of the reasons anyway. You aren't one of us yet, not fully. You keep dancing around on the edges as if you can hold back from what you are. And as long as you do that, I can't trust you won't start telling the wrong people everything you know.”

She lets go of me.

“So you're not going to tell me anything?” I say.

“You need to embrace your powers first,” Lady Elara replies. “All the aspects of them. You need to accept that there is a light and dark in balance within us. When you do that, the others might decide that you're ready. Then we can talk about what happens next.”

“And until then I just keep going, blundering in the dark trying to survive?” I say.

She shrugs. “I am doing everything I can to keep you alive by teaching you. You have the powers you need. You will survive if you use them well. So go use them.”

It’s obviously a dismissal. It seems that Lady Elara has tired of me for today. Maybe that’s a good thing. I can’t spend my time thinking about beast whisperer conspiracies. My first day of this season might be done, but I still have two more bouts, and it will take everything I have to survive.