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Chapter thirty-two

A Long Goodbye

Kira

O ur family was returned to us in style, on a warm day.

The ice had melted away, and green grass poked through the brown decay of last fall’s foliage.

Spring was on its way, and we waited on the terrace of the gothic mansion—still creepy, but slightly less so, over time—looking at the empty lawn, as two helicopters came in.

The wind kicked up, putting a chill in the air as the rhythmic sound of rotors drowned out everything else.

The motors whined as the blades slowed down. I couldn’t believe it, but I was able to see the smiling face of Dairo Green in the pilot seat of the lead helicopter as he landed several feet away from us, giving us a salute as the skids touched down. His smile was elated.

When those sliding doors opened, my heart leapt to my throat, and I bounced on my toes, my hands clasped over my heart to keep it from beating out of my chest.

Eoghan put a hand on the small of my back, and I felt the tenderness of his comfort, as we searched the faces looking for the one that mattered most.

Rose came out first, carrying her two little ones in her arms. Her face was pulled taut and worn down. She looked at the ground right in front of her, instead of the waiting faces that were clamoring for the arrival of the ones we had missed so much.

It was as if she only had the energy to take the next step, and not a moment more.

I wanted to say something. As a mother myself, I could see the signs of postpartum depression, even if I hadn’t had it myself. I wanted to reach out to her and offer to take her children, so she could get a nap. So she could get a moment to catch her breath.

But if she was anything like me, prying her kids out of her protective arms would be a death sentence, and no matter how well Blink had trained me, I wasn’t going to take on a former Underground MMA Champion.

Aoibheann came out of the second helicopter, her large belly preceding her as she stepped down from the bird.

“ Suka! ” Jericho swore under his breath before he charged forward, his hair tossed by the slowing rotors, until he was at her side, steadying her as she cautiously stepped down.

“Overprotective men,” Yuliya chuckled, her arms crossed, her biceps bulging from her shirt as she shook her head at her brother. “What a bore.”

Jericho was about to lead Aoibheann away, but she turned, her arms out at the door.

That was when we saw our little man.

It was like Eoghan and I were reanimated, and the two of us ran down the marble veranda steps, across the manicured lawn, just in time for Aoibheann to help our son down from the door.

“Cillian!” I yelled over the rotors hushing as they slowed their rhythm.

“Mama!” he said, his arms up, his hands closing and opening into tiny fists like he was holding a squishy ball in his palms—the toddler sign language for wanting uppies. “Dada!”

I picked him up as Eoghan slammed into us, his massive arms wrapping around both of us, and squeezing us together.

“I love you,” I whispered as I buried my nose into our son’s hair.

Eoghan pulled away, just a little, his hands cupping the back of mine and Cillian’s heads, as he stared at the two of us, his eyes full of… something. Regret, maybe? I wasn’t sure.

“Eoghan?” I whined, looking at him for the comfort I was so used to always receiving from him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, love,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Nothing at all.”

I frowned, agitated that he wouldn’t tell me more. “Talk to me!”

I had to shout the words to be heard, but then blushed, realizing that Aoibheann and Jericho looked our way, side-eyeing us as if they were about to see a fight.

“I’m just looking at my family, love. Trying to memorize everything.”

And still, there was an undercurrent of pain in his voice that I detested. It stabbed at me. It scared me. Like he was about to disappear at any moment. It felt like the ache of a thousand small cuts ripping into me all at once, and I had no way to stop it.

I looked at Aoibheann, who looked at me with absolute sympathy—she felt sorry for me, and I did not know why.

All I knew was that his tone, his eyes, his face, and everything about his demeanor felt like a long and painful goodbye.