Page 4 of Iris Kelly Doesn't Date

“Aiden,” Addison said.

“Fuck you both very much,” Iris said.

“Iris!” Addison said, her tone like a middle school teacher, then promptly ushered her daughters out of the kitchen.

“Barn animals, all of you,” Maeve said, covering one of Christopher’s tiny ears. “Iris, all we’re saying is that we worry about you being all alone.”

“I’m fine,” Iris said. Her voice shook a little, belying her words, but that’s what a family ambush will do to a person. Shewasfine. Sure, she’d had to close her paper shop last year—she still designed and sold her digital planners out of her Etsy shop, but no one bought paper enough these days. Once Iris started offering digital planners, the brick-and-mortar aspect of her business suffered. It was a difficult call, but it was also exciting. After a few months of feeling a bit adrift, Iris decided to try her hand at writing romance. She’d always loved reading and had long dreamed of penning a book of her own. Turns out, she was a pretty decent writer. She banged out a story about a down-on-her-luck queer woman who had a life-changing encounter with a stranger on a New York subway, then kept running into the same woman all over the city in the unlikeliest of places. She got several offers from agents and went with Fiona, who was the perfect blend of ruthless and nurturing, and soldUntil We Meet Againto a major romance publisher in a two-book deal. Granted, she didn’t sell it for a killing or anything, but Iris had enough money in savings to keep her afloat, and her Etsy sales brought in a steady stream of cash.

But of course, the dissolution of her business only made her mother freak out even more about herfuture, and Maeve considered writing a hobby more than a stable job. The fact that Iris hadn’t dated anyone seriously in over a year didn’t help. Iris imagined Maeve dedicated many hours a day to envisioning Iris dying poor and alone.

For Iris, the blatant lack of romance in her life was wonderful.

No drama.

No heartbreaks from partners who couldn’t deal with the fact that Iris didn’t want to get married or have kids.

No lies from people who claimed Iris was the most wonderful creature they’d ever met, only to find out from their sobbing spouse that they were fuckingmarried with children.

Iris shook off the memory of the lying, cheating, asshole Jillian, the last person she’d let into her heart, thirteen months ago. Since then, she’d contented herself with writing about romance and had simply removed dating from the equation, along with conversation, phone number exchanges, and any sort of scenario that left room forI’d like to see you again.

There was noagain. No second date. Hell, what Iris had been doing with people she met on apps and in bars for the last several months wouldn’t even qualify as a first date.

Which was exactly the way Iris wanted it.

Because, if she was being honest, romance novelswerea fantasy. Not that she’d ever admit that to her mother, but that was what she loved about them. They were an escape. A vacation from the harsh reality that only zero-point-one percent of people in the world actually got a for-real HEA. Stories like her mom and dad’s, romances that lasted forty years, meet-cutes where the couple accidentally picked up the other person’s luggage after an international flight to Paris—that shit wasn’treal.

At least, it wasn’t real for Iris Kelly.

For Tegan McKee however...

“Iris!” Maeve screeched, jolting Iris out of her brainstorming and startling poor Christopher awake.

“Sorry, Jesus,” Iris said, then took Christopher from her mother and kissed his bald head. He reached a hand toward her, yanking on her long hair. Iris smiled down at him. Hewasfucking cute.

“See?” Maeve said, beaming at Iris. “Isn’t it wonderful to hold a baby in your arms? Now just imagine your own—”

“Oh my god, Mom, stop,” Iris said, then handed Christopher back to Emma.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” Maeve said. “But all I’m saying is that someone who’s ready to settle down might be good for you. Zach told me he’stired of dating.” She widened her eyes like she’d just revealed government secrets. “So are you!”

Iris rubbed her forehead. As usual, her well-meaning mother hit the mark just left of the bull’s-eye. “I’m doing fine by myself, Mom.”

“Oh, honey,” Maeve said, looking at her with bigyou poor thingeyes. “No one is fine by themselves. Look at Claire and Astrid. They’re happy now, aren’t they?”

Iris frowned. “Just because they both have partners who make them happy doesn’t mean they weren’t happy before.”

“That’s exactly what it means,” Maeve said, and Emma nodded, because of course she did. “Since she and Jordan got together, I’ve never seen Astrid Parker smile so much in the twenty years that I’ve known her.”

“That’s just Astrid,” Iris said. “She was born with resting bitch face.”

“Point,” Aiden said, jutting a carrot stick into the air before biting off half. He was well acquainted with Astrid Parker’s fierceness, as she’d eviscerated him on their high school debate team when he was a junior and she a mere freshman.

“Andmypoint,” Maeve said, grabbing the second half of the carrot stick out of her son’s hand and throwing it at him before fixing her Concerned Catholic Mother eyes back on Iris, “is that all this gallivanting around, seeing a new person every week, avoiding adulthood, isn’t healthy. It’s time to get serious.”

Silence filled the kitchen.

Get serious.