Page 19 of Intoxicating Pursuit
The Tail
SAMMY
O n the big day, I got my Subaru packed bright and early, kissed Mom and Meghan goodbye, then stopped at the brewery to mount Gabe’s bike to the rack on the back of the car.
It was early morning, and the air was humid but not yet stiflingly hot.
I dialed Creekside, North Carolina into my GPS, made sure I had snacks and cold drinks ready for the road trip, and put the car in gear.
If I could get to the hotel tonight, the trip to La Fermata in the morning would be a piece of cake.
Despite the fears I’d been harboring over travel, road trips had always been fun in the past. I used to put on music, sing at the top of my lungs, call friends to catch up, or just give myself a moment to think in peace.
Today could be like that if I let it. I tried to stay calm and enjoy the freedom that came with speeding down the road at my own pace, with my own thoughts and music.
I put on one of my favorite Walker Smith Revival albums, and the miles peeled away easily.
Best of all, despite the increasing distance from home, my anxiety didn’t really stir.
It all made the spacious blue sky above feel appropriate.
Could I truly open our lives back up again?
Could I let go of this aching fear and need to keep everyone so close?
The terrain slowly shifted from flat farmland to rolling hills, and finally, blue gray mountains appeared in the distant mist. As they grew closer, the winding freeway cut through towering stone bluffs covered in verdant shrubs and trees.
Streams of water poured through crevices in the rock, evidence of recent rain.
Lulled by the beauty, my thoughts drifted to Gabe again.
His deep husky voice, his rough hands, and the feeling of his chest against mine wove through my fantasies.
Daydreaming, I all but ached with desire as the highway disappeared behind me and mountains rose up along the horizon.
I knew I should probably stop stoking my expectations with all these wild imaginings and be more sensible, but, honestly, nothing made the miles go by more quickly.
In the end, I indulged in the fantasy and barely noticed the time passing.
***
S ome time later, I would learn that outside my bubble of daydreams, obscured by the ungainly bike rack, a sedan followed a few cars behind mine. For all six hundred miles of the journey.