Page 14 of Intoxicating Pursuit

Nightmare

C louds boil ahead—ominous, churning, and nearly black.

Lightning cleaves the sky as the car motors through a blur of murderous thunder and rain, its windshield wipers flashing back and forth.

Darkness encroaches, swallows almost everything except a tunnel-like view over the shoulder of a soft-bodied, silver-haired driver.

His voice breaks through the hammering downpour, disembodied, echoing from all corners of the car. “Sammy, I need you to come get me! I don’t feel good!”

The car moves faster. The massive, seething storm rages.

“Dad, you know I’m in Nashville. . . can’t come. . .” My voice cuts in and out, static in the darkness.

“Please. This can’t wait. Something’s wrong. Come pick me up.” His voice booms. Rain thrashes the car.

“Dad, I can’t. You’re fine. . . sick after your card game.” Broken, scratching words.

“Sammy, I can’t hear you! Stop talking and come get me. I feel awful. I need your help!”

The car shakes, reverberates, a cavern of violent noise.

“Dad, you’re not being reasonable. . . I’m not in town.” My voice drowns in static.

“But my head is splitting. I’m gonna throw up.” The car rocks amidst blackness. His blaring voice fights against the screaming gusts of wind.

“Dad . . . pull over. . . There are plenty of people. . .”

An abrupt, deafening explosion obliterates the conversation, and the front end of the car rips horrifically in two. Thick tree branches smash through the windshield. The view goes black.

“Dad?”

The wind shrieks.

“Dad? . . . Dad, answer me! Answer me! ”

But his voice is gone.

All that remains is thunder, rain, and the terrifying sound of someone trying to draw breath through blood.

***

I sat up screaming, a white-hot panic burning everywhere around me—an inferno that scorched the air from my lungs. I covered my ears, tried to block out the gurgling death rattle, the savage sound of wind. Tears flew everywhere. I couldn’t stop the screaming.

“Mom! Mom! There’s nothing bad happening to you. Wake up!”

Meghan’s voice from far away.

“Mom, come on, wake up !”

More distant sounds. Feet scrambling down stairs.

Terror pressed against my chest and mind, filled the space with blinding light. Grief and fear bore down with crushing force. The endless scream shrieked in my ears.

Then pressure on my shoulders.

“Shh. . . Shh. . .”

The sound of Mom’s voice. So close. A warm arm wrapped around me. A gentle squeeze.

“Shhh.” My mom again. “Samantha Louise. You’re okay. Shh. . . You’ve got to calm down. Nothing bad is happening.”

My breath caught briefly, and I finally managed a gulp of air.

Two.

My tears slowed as oxygen flowed into my lungs. A few more breaths. Shallow, stuttering efforts.

I opened my eyes. Meghan stared at me wide-eyed. Mom sat by my side.

The reality of what was happening. . . again.

. . crashed down on me. I smashed my fists into the comforter, sobbed in sheer frustration and embarrassment.

“Oh, God. Why won’t this stop?” I grabbed a tissue off the nightstand, blew my nose, and wiped my eyes, trying to get my breathing back to normal.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Mom.” Meghan handed me another tissue. “I’ll get you some water.” She hustled down the stairs.

Mom continued to stroke my back. I wiped my eyes and looked around, fully aware of my room again, of my mom next to me. “This is so ridiculous. I’d do anything to make it stop.”

“It hasn’t happened in a long time. It’s getting much better.”

We sat in silence until Meghan delivered the water, saw things returning to normal, and retreated back to her room, gently closing the door on her way out.

Mom continued to rub my back, up and down, in long languid strokes.

“Samantha Louise,” she finally said, “you’re going to have to forgive yourself for this. You have to let it go.”

We sat for another minute or two as my body finally settled.

“We’ve all been through a trauma, and yours was easily the worst. But Sammy. . . that aneurysm was going to take him, whether you were there for him or not. Car wreck or no car wreck. You have to let it go, honey. I know you can.”

I hoped she was right. I really did. It was long past time to exorcize this demon.