Page 43 of Into the Fire

‘Please, Helen, do we really have to do this—’

‘Answer the fucking question.’

Exhaling heavily, Christopher rounded his desk, running his hand along the top of his chair, studiously avoiding looking at the photo of his wife.

‘We met ten years ago,’ he eventually confessed.‘We’ve been married about six.’

‘Is this the bit where you tell me that you love your wife,but recently things have been difficult between you …?’Helen replied, caustically.

‘I wouldn’t waste my breath,’ he replied disconsolately.‘But, yes.’

‘So, what was all this?A bit of escapism?A fantasy?Executive relief?’

Pained, Christopher opened his mouth to answer, when he was suddenly distracted by a loud knocking on his door.Seconds later, a burly security guard entered.

‘Everything OK in here?Reception said we had an intruder …’

He looked disparagingly at Helen, his eyes boring into her.But if he was expecting her to quail, to be intimidated by him, he was sorely mistaken.The way she was feeling right now, she would lay him out with one punch.

‘It’s all fine, just a misunderstanding,’ Christopher blustered.

‘You’re sure?Because if this person is bothering—’

‘It’s OK, honestly,’ Christopher cut in tersely.‘She’s a friend.’

The guard seemed unconvinced, but there was no question of pushing it any further, so with ill grace, he retired, closing the door behind him.

‘So, is that what I am?A friend?’Helen enquired, archly.

‘Helen, please, I never wanted it to turn out like this,’ he replied with feeling, crossing the room towards her.‘I should have been honest with you, but in truth … I bottled it.And then the longer it went on, the easier it got.You didn’t seem to want a long-term relationship and neither did I, so it kind of worked.’

‘Except for the fact that you were lying to your wife.And lying to me.’

‘Yes, it was stupid and cowardly and selfish of me.I don’t know what else to say.’

‘Did you feel anything for me?Or was I just a distraction?’

‘Of course I do,’ he insisted earnestly.‘Which is why this is all so messed-up.’

He ran a hand through his hair, suddenly looking exhausted and deflated.

‘Yes, at first, I admit I was just looking for some intimacy, some fun even …’

‘There were others before me?Or maybe you’ve got several of us on the go?’

‘No, nothing like that.I met a couple of women before you, but they were one-offs.You were something different.You’re so … so confident in yourself, so in control, so strong.’

Today Helen felt anything but yet she held her tongue.

‘And I guess I was kind of beguiled by that.Alice is a very different character and, to be honest, I’m a very different character.So, in spite of myself, I did develop feelings for you.Ihavedeveloped feelings for you.’

‘How nice for you.That way you could have your cakeandeat it.’

‘No, no, none of this was intentional.And please believe me I hated myself for deceiving you.I never wanted to hurt you, Helen.You mean a lot to me …’

‘I see.So maybe this is the point when you tell me you’re going to leave your wife and move in with me?’

She was ready to slap him down if he even hinted at such an outcome, but his sheepish reaction rendered that unnecessary.