Page 83 of Into the Blue

He shrugs a shoulder and it’s so similar to my own gesture that I smile a little internally. My brother may be a grumpy dick, but he’s still my brother. “Good guy, I guess. Works on the Ranch. Lives right next to it, actually. What about him?”

“He was in the room with one of my runners like some kind of bodyguard. Didn’t matter anyway because she was useless in terms of information.”

“What does that mean?” He sits up a little straighter. “Wait, she?”

“Yea, she. Kitty.”

“She was the woman Thane was with when we got to Colton at the cabin. She was holding a gun, kicking Colton’s ass just the same.”

“I bet. I brought her in myself. Saw potential. But now… I don’t know. Too many things aren’t linin’ up and she can’t even remember me.”

He turns to face me fully. “Why are you here?”

“I came to check on you.” I put a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugs it off. After whatever went down in that cabin, Tony somehow messed shit up with Drea. Don’t know exactly what happened there, but she’s still at the hospital with her daughter and he’s not there.

“You see me and I’m alive, so you can go now,” he retorts.

I’m dealing with real shit right now and he’s sulking here like an overgrown baby. “What’s the big deal? She’s just some woman,” I taunt.

“She’s not some woman. She is the best woman I’ve ever met. You wouldn’t know what love looked like and you definitely wouldn’t know what I’m going through. I’m all fucked up waiting for her to let me back in.”

He’s right. I wouldn’t know what love looks like, but I know when a man is down bad and my brother needs that woman and her daughter in his life.

“So why the fuck are you here then? She needs you. You lose her and then what? You just mope around here.”

“Look. She doesn’t want her life entwined with us.”

I’m sorry for it, truly, but I did the best I could to keep that from happening. Ever since Racquelle came into my life it has been impossible to keep control over anything.

Including this.

“Mmh. Sounds like givin’ up to me.” I say and then think for a second. “I need your advice.”

“I don’t know if I’m the best person to do that.”

“Nah, just be real with me. I think you can give me… perspective.”

“Hmm,” is all he says and I take that as a cue to keep going.

“You got out. I always thought you were makin’ the best choice for you. No bullshit. It really made me respect you. This life, this life is not for everybody. I’m not gonna lie to you and say that I don’t love it. I do. But I wonder… when I get ready to settle down like the simp you are for Drea, will I have to give it up?”

My brother may not know the ins and outs, but he knows the consequences of being a Dupont just like I do. “I don’t know, man. Look atwhat happened to Ma. Gone because of whatever shit Pa was into. This girl, whoever she is… She’ll always have a target on her back.”

“But that’s the thing. Pa was movin’ shady. He wasn’t doin’ what we do now. The operation doesn’t even look like how he had it. If he were here, he’d be proud.” Not that I’m seeking his approval because he’d be reluctant to give it anyway.

But he would have to.

Tony shakes his head. “It’s even more dangerous. I’ve only caught a glimpse and I almost lost my life.”

“Ack. Kitty would not have let that happen. Thane was dumb as shit. That got… out of hand. As much as I believe in solvin’ the problem myself, karma did it for me.”

“My employee did it for you,” he corrects and I suppose he’s right in a sense. If it weren’t for that car accident, I might have more answers right now.

I hold my hands out in front of me. “An accident is an accident. One less drop of blood on my hands.”

“Whatever,” he says after a shudder rolls over him. He gets up and grabs two beers from the fridge, handing one to me. “What else do you want?” He’s trying to get rid of me, but I won’t let him do it that easily. I still have more to ask.

“How can I find someone in this crazy world? Is it even fair?” He sits down on the couch, but I choose the armrest instead.