Page 116 of Intermission

I dive into my studies and do piles of extra credit to ensure the 4.0 G.P.A. my parents expect—and my dreams require.

I’m cast as Lili in KHS’s fall production ofCarnival!and get great reviews—if you count local comments and a review in a 3000 paper circulation hometown newspaper.

When the Leopold Community Theatre announces try-outs forGuys and Dollsin November, I have every intention of auditioning. But when the appointed day comes, I sit outside the Opera House in my car, sobbing. I can’t do it. The memory of seeing Noah Spencer cast as Nathan Detroit on the KHS stage is too vivid, and the memory of sharing that particular Leopold stage with him is still too fresh. I drive back home without ever having left my car.

Jenna tries to be there for me, but she’s varsity everything now, and the few weekends we do hang out are becoming increasingly awkward. We’re drifting apart, but neither of us wants to admit it out loud.

Winter rolls in, and Jenna’s basketball schedule collides with my speech and dance team rehearsal schedules in the usual way, but it’s different somehow.

I feel more alone than ever.

I ask permission to go to the Wednesday night youth group at Fellowship Community. I figure with Noah gone, what’s the problem? My request is denied. Mom does, however, buy me a personal Bible study guide on the subject of obedience.

Go figure.

I expect to hate it. I don’t. In fact, I learn a lot, and it helps me better understand some of the things Noah was conflicted about when we were “not-really-dating” dating. Clearly, Mom didn’t read itbefore purchasing. She was trying to make a point and likely assumed I’d never crack it open. But I did. And I’m glad, because God used her arrogance to slip past her, to reach me.

Still, I’m lonely.

But I’m holding on.

It’s a dreary December afternoon in French III. This is the only class Jenna and I have together this semester, but she hasn’t even made eye-contact with me since we came in. It’s weird, but it seems to confirm the strange vibe I’ve been getting from her all week.

It’s a small class, since most people only take two years of foreign language, and we’re spread out enough that I don’t worry that anyone will overhear our conversation, as long as I keep my voice low.

“Jenna,” I whisper, leaning across the aisle. “Is everything okay?”

She looks over for just a second before her eyes return to the top of her desk. “Sure. Why?”

“Have you been avoiding me?”

“No. I’ve just . . . I’m busy. You know.”

Jenna bites her lip. She won’t look at me.

“Jenna, did I do something? If I did, I’m sorry. Just... will you please tell me what I did?”

When she finally looks up, I’m shocked at the betrayal in her eyes.

“I don’t know what you did, Faith.” Her brow furrows. “But my mom does. Or she thinks she does. I don’t know.”

What?“That doesn’t make sense. What are you talking about?”

Jenna licks her lips. Her gaze meets her desktop again. “Look, my mom doesn’t want me to hang out with you, okay? Not that we hang out that much anymore, anyway.”

“But . . . why?”

“She thinks you’re a bad influence on me.”

Oh . . . oh, no.

“I let Cole come over when they weren’t home,” she whispers, leaning close so no one else will hear. “My dad came home early, and... bad timing, you know?”

“You mean you . . .”

She scoots her desk closer to mine. “Not... totally. But far enough that I didn’t exactly want my dad to walk in!”

“Oh.” Wow. “Are you okay?”