Page 152 of Innocent

The warm water feels good and I’m glad we’re able to enjoy this precious slice of alone time. An emotional oasis in what will increasingly be a harsh desert clime as the campaign revs up.

He shifts position, cradling me even more securely, so I’m straddling him. How could I have forgotten how damned good it feels being with someone who can make me feel…safe?

“I’mreallysorry you thought I hated you all those years.” His voice vibrates in my ear, which is pressed against his chest.

“Water under the bridge.” I graze his nipple with my teeth. “We’re a team now. I came back because you asked me. That means you’re not getting rid of me.”

He sighs. “I damn sure don’t want to. I’ve slept better the past couple of weeks than I think I have in a couple ofyears. I feel like an idiot.”

“You’re not the only one.” I tip my head back, which might have been a mistake. The longer I stare into his blue eyes, the harder I fall.

Annndnow my cock’s hard again. Doesn’t help that it’s wedged between us.

He obviously feels it, because his hand settles on my ass as the corner of his mouth quirks in a smile. “You got another one in you, baby?”

I can’t help it. Maybe it makes me weak for not being able to hold the Sir role longer, but there you have it. I start rocking my hips against him, with his fingers digging into my asscheeks and urging me on. My cock rubs against his abs as he slants his lips over mine and lets me grind on him.

Fuck.

I’m back in Leo’s apartment that first weekend together, shredding my V-card in the most desperately pleasant way possible, and I’m hornier than I’ve ever felt in my life. During one of the breaks in the festivities, when he was exhausted and I was ready to go…

He held me exactly like this. Except in his bed.

And said exactly the same thing.

In exactly the same way.

This is a direct tie to my past, just as I’m a tie to Elliot’s. I can see why he is so easily able to submit to me—because I’m doing to him exactly what he’s doing to me right now. We’re both channeling the man we’re desperately in love with and can’t physically be with.

Does this even have a future if Leo tells both of us to go fuck ourselves and walks away?

Except…

As much as I’ve tried to prepare myself for something along those very lines, Elliot’s right. If Leo was to do that, he’d be going against everything I know he is and stands for, and wouldn’t be the man I thought he was.

It’d be impossible to love him if he discarded both of us like that.

I wouldn’t want to love him.

I want to love the man who’s held on to his hopes of being with Elliot for a dozen years, and who desperately wanted me, too.

I want to love the man who never gave up on Elliot, despite how difficult it was to love him and be in a relationship with him.

I want Elliot to love the man who was willing to wait for me, to not take me even when he knew he could have me. Who was a gentleman with me, and honorable, and honest.

I want Elliot to love the man who was so worried about me that he searched that club for me, then stood there with me, holding me, listening to the bands with me.

I want Elliot to love the man who pretty much carried me out of that club, who put himself between me and the fire door as we ran outside, because he didn’t want me in danger, and who swaddled me in his coat when I stood there shivering from fear and shock, nearly pissing myself I was so terrified, every noise making me jump while we awaited our ride.

I want Elliot to love the man whose heart I probably shattered into a million pieces, who cried when I removed my day collar and put it in his hands.

And I wantthatman to love us, too. Both of us.

Because dammit, we fucking need him.

My fingers find their way into Elliot’s hair, twining, holding on as I hump him. This one is coming up fast—pun intended, thank you very much—and water’s splashing against the edges of the tub.

My eyes are open, and I look into his, watching him watch me.