Page 14 of Inked Desires

ANDREW

I’m used to taking hits, burying my emotions under an impenetrable shell, wearing a perfect mask so no one can guess the chaos brewing inside me. But tonight, it’s different. No matter how hard I try, every movement feels mechanical, every breath heavier. The pain lodged in my chest refuses to fade. It pounds, tears at me, suffocates me, reminding me constantly of what happened just hours ago.

I swallow the lump choking my throat and force my tears to stay put. I have to move forward. Always forward. I’ve learned to live with it.

The car stops in front of New London station. My old ride wouldn’t have taken me as far as I want, and anyway, Ares knows it. Jace does too, now. Better to leave it behind.

I grab my backpack and leave the keys in the ignition. Maybe some other lost soul like me will need them more. They’ve served me well, after all. A sharp sting hits me as I walk away, but I quickly look away. No time for nostalgia.

The imposing red brick building towers before me. I exhale slowly and stride inside. It’s time to leave Wisconsin. To start over.

In front of the departure board, I freeze. Where to go? What place could offer me a moment’s peace before Jace finds me? I have no plan. Just an urgent need to disappear.

A sigh escapes me. My hand nervously runs through my hair as my eyes scan the schedules. A train leaves for Minnesota in fifteen minutes. Not the furthest destination, but a first stop. The ride will give me time to think about what comes next.

I approach the ticket counter, where a clerk peers over her glasses.

“Hello,” she grumbles.

“One ticket to Willow River,” I say.

I slide a hundred and twenty dollars through the slot. She takes the money and hands me my ticket.

“Thanks,” I murmur.

I climb the stairs leading to the deserted platform. Sitting on a weathered bench, I stare at the rails gleaming in the last rays of the sun.

Everything feels unreal. I’d found a place where I thought I could settle. A semblance of home. A moment of respite. And even someone I almost believed in. All shattered now. Maybe it wasn’t meant for me. Maybe I was just an intruder in a life that wasn’t mine.

My jaw tightens. I refuse to give in to weakness now. I can break down later. But not here. Not now.

I close my eyes for a moment, exhausted. The idea of running again and again eats at me. All I want is a break. But I know it’s not possible. Jace won’t let this slide.

A faint sound startles me. Someone sits beside me. My body stiffens instantly. My hand grips my bag. I open my eyes slowly, ready to spring.

A familiar silhouette takes shape in my view. I don’t need to turn my head to know who it is. My heart races.

“Did you really think you could run?” comes a calm, almost amused voice.

My shoulders sag. Maybe I’d hoped for a bit more luck.

“Was worth a try, at least.”

Robert taps the bench’s backrest with his fingers. His gaze drifts somewhere ahead.

“We were watching you,” he explains calmly. “Jace suspected something. At first, he thought you were having an affair with the tattoo shop owner, but you wouldn’t have left like that after stealing his money.”

A bitter chuckle escapes me.

“Congrats, Andrew. You just saved a life,” he adds.

Robert isn’t the worst of Jace’s men. At least he never treated me like dirt.

“Am I going to die?” I ask quietly.

He doesn’t answer right away. Then, after a pause, he says:

“I’ll have to tell him where you’re headed.”

A breath of relief escapes me. So not just yet. I still have some time.

“Enjoy the ride,” he advises. “Watch the scenery, relax.”

I look at him for a moment. Robert was never like the others. He used to smile sometimes. But now, he seems extinguished. His green eyes are empty, his messy hair betrays unusual nervousness.

“That’s it? Just a few hours?”

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I always liked you. You should have stayed.”

A joyless laugh shakes me.

“Seriously? That wasn’t a life, Rob. I was a toy, a distraction for Jace, a punching bag when he lost it. I couldn’t stay.”

His shoulders tense. His gaze searches my face.

“What changed? Why now? I saw you take it all without flinching for years. What tipped the scales?”

My hand rests on my forehead. He’s always been more observant than the others. He knows. He saw.

“We were going to be fathers,” I whisper. “But it didn’t change anything for Jace. He threw the surrogate mother against a dresser and hit her in the stomach. You can guess the rest.”

Robert slowly nods.

“You lost the baby.”

“I lost… For him, it was just another burden, apparently. I wondered what he would have become if he’d been born. How he would have grown up, trapped in that hell. I got my answer. So I took ten thousand dollars from his damn safe and left. Jace thinks I’m too scared of him. And he’s right. But now… I don’t care. If he wants me, he can come get me. I have nothing left to lose.”

Robert says nothing. He just stares into space, thoughtful. We sit like that, side by side, in heavy silence.

The board announces the train is five minutes late. Yet the platform remains empty. Something about it all feels off.

“One thing puzzles me though: why did you leave with him?” my former bodyguard finally asks.

I run a hand through my hair, trying to organize my thoughts. Good memories are hard to pull out, crushed under the weight of the bad.

“I was coming from the middle of nowhere, Alaska,” I say bitterly. “There was this man, blond, with incredibly blue eyes, who was kind to me. Jace was charming. He said he wanted to take his time, build something solid before going further. He promised me the world, and he seemed to have money. I thought, for once, I had a bit of luck. But that dream quickly turned into a nightmare after the wedding. He dropped his mask. Not everything was bad, but too much to stay. I realized you should never reach for the stars. Jace was too good to be true. And back then, I still believed in fairy tales.”

“So, you didn’t know anything about the club, the illegal betting, and the murders?” Rob asks.

I take a deep breath. Jace thinks companions— as he likes to call them— are nothing more than trophies. Objects of desire bound by marriage to high-ranking members of his organization. They have no power, no value beyond their presence. Their role is to be admired, shown off at parties, and satisfy their husbands’ whims. Anything beyond that is an affront, a threat to the established order.

“I only understood what was really going on behind the scenes, and where all that money came from, after our wedding,” I finally say.

He says nothing. We remain frozen in our positions. In the distance, an animal silhouette crosses the field, too far away to tell what it is.

“Stand up,” the man beside me suddenly orders.

Taken aback, I turn my head toward him. Robert stares at me with determination.

“Why?”

His jaw tightens, and his gaze darkens.

“I said: stand up!” he repeats, louder.

I don’t understand. Has he changed his mind? Will he finally hand me over to his boss to finish this? The truth seems to have deeply angered him. A miscarriage and my ignorance aren’t enough to earn his mercy. On the contrary. He looks furious.

Trembling, I grab my backpack and stand up, obeying despite myself. My legs are unsteady, my balance fragile. Even if he tries to drag me out of the station, I wouldn’t stand a chance. I’m no match for an experienced boxer. He could knock me out in seconds.

Robert straightens up as I do. We face each other, eyes locked. He slips a hand inside his suit jacket. When he pulls it out, a knife gleams between his fingers.

“What are you doing?” I ask, breathless.

He tightens his lips, gripping the handle firmly but says nothing.

“Robert?” I insist, softer now.

He takes a step forward. His gaze never leaves mine. No warning, but the knife in his hand is warning enough.

Without warning, his arm shoots out sharply. A violent impact shakes my stomach like a dull punch. My body staggers from the blow, but nothing makes sense. Then, I look down.

I see it. The blade plunged into my flesh. Blood spilling out, staining my shirt a deep red.

That’s when the pain hits—brutal, tearing, like an unbearable burn spreading through my abdomen. Vertigo swamps me, and my legs threaten to give out. The shock numbs me, stopping me from reacting or fighting back.

“Why?” I whisper.

He tilts his head, expression unreadable.

“I’m saving your life,” he simply replies before stepping even closer.

I’m stunned. Nothing makes sense. My mind can’t piece it together. I can only stare at the handle sticking out of my stomach.

“You’ll understand soon enough,” he continues before placing his hands on my shoulders.

The pain sharpens. The pressure makes me stagger, and I lose my balance. My arms flail, desperately searching for support, but it’s too late. I fall heavily onto the dusty platform floor. The impact knocks the air from my lungs before a bright light explodes in my head.

Everything burns, tears me apart, electrifies me. But it’s my mind that stops working properly. I can’t even open my eyes, but a smell of urine invades my nostrils. From the floor… or maybe I’ve let go. Either way, I no longer feel anything solid.

They say when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. In truth, I briefly think of my family back in Alaska. My parents. My brothers. That little village where I grew up. The moment is fleeting. After I ran away to build a better life, contact faded. They never understood my need for freedom. Those images vanish behind my eyelids.

What follows is both surprising and inevitable. I don’t relive the timeline of my life or the key moments that shaped it. I only see one face. The most beautiful face I’ve ever had the chance to behold. Black hair, equally dark eyes, a sharply defined jaw marked by a scar on the cheek.

I feel his hand glide gently down my spine before he presses a kiss on my own scar.

I feel the needle of his tattoo machine etch into my skin, offering me a piece of freedom.

These memories of Ares eclipse everything else, erasing the pain in my head. The urge to push them away vanishes. The walls I carefully built crumble one by one, revealing what I always knew.

I’m bound to Ares. In a way I never thought possible.

Even though he hurt me, my heart belongs to him. Even though he loves another and I’ll never be enough for him, my heart refuses to think rationally. I’m his because he transformed me, breathed new hope into my life.

At least I managed to save him. My escape kept him alive, and now I have to sacrifice mine. Such heroism. I guess there are worse reasons to die.

Gradually, I accept it. It’s okay to go.

In the distance, I hear the soothing click-clack of train wheels. The sound pulls me into a trance. Suddenly, the pain fades, pushed to the background. A comforting warmth wraps around me. The wheels stop rumbling, along with every other noise. Silence reigns.

Is this the end?

For the first time in a long while, I feel deep peace. I’m no longer afraid. The chaos in my mind dissolves, and I focus on the memory of Ares.

But his face blurs, fading into a hazy mist. I try to scream for him to stay with me, but no sound comes out. I want to reach out, but even my fingers won’t move.

Everything goes black.

I’m in darkness.

Nothing else exists.