Page 46 of Infatuation (The Josh & Kat Trilogy #1)

Thirty-Two

Josh

The room warps and buckles. Did Sarah just say she wants Agent Eric to find Mariela from Venezuela ? My brain can’t process what I’m hearing.

I look at Jonas. His face looks exactly the way I feel: blindsided.

If Jonas has told Sarah about Mariela, then he’s surely told her about Mom, too. Does that mean he’s told her everything ?

“I don’t know her last name,” Sarah continues calmly, “but she worked for Joseph and Grace Faraday in Seattle during the years from…I’m guessing 1984 to around 1991.”

What the fuck is happening right now? I feel like Sarah just punched me in the balls. I glance at Jonas again. He’s got his hands over his face. Good idea. I do the same.

“In 1991, Grace Faraday was murdered in her home . . .” Sarah continues, and the minute she says Mom’s name this second time, I suddenly realize she just revealed the true meaning of my “Grace” tattoo to Kat.

I steal a quick look at Kat, and her eyes tell me she’s already put two and two together. She knows. Oh, fuck. I seriously can’t do this. Enough with the honesty-game. It’s too much. I put my hands over my face again. I’m shaking.

“Hang on,” Eric says. “Could you repeat all that?”

Sarah repeats everything again slowly, including Mom’s name, yet again, just in case Kat didn’t catch it the first two times. “Grace Faraday,” Sarah says. “She was murdered in her home... We need you to find Mariela —and if she’s not alive, then her children.”

“Okay. That sounds doable,” Agent Eric says.

Am I hearing that right? This FBI guy is gonna track down Mariela ?

I look across the room at Jonas. He looks like he’s in total shock.

“Awesome, Eric,” Sarah says. “Thank you. And there’s one more woman, too. I don’t know her first name—but her maiden name was Westbrook .”

Oh Jesus Christ.

Jonas and I exchange a look of pure astonishment.

This is beyond insanity. Sarah’s asking the FBI guy to find Mariela and Miss Westbrook?

Well, that settles it beyond a doubt: Jonas has told Sarah literally every little thing about his life, and therefore mine: Mom, Mariela, Miss Westbrook, Dad, The Lunacy.

Holy fuck. I never thought I’d see the day.

Haven’t we always said no one needs to know about all that—that it’s best if these things remain between us?

“Miss Westbrook was a teacher in Seattle in probably 1992,” Sarah continues, “and then she married a guy in the Navy named Santorini who was later stationed in San Diego.”

“What do these two women have to do with The Club?” Eric asks.

“Absolutely nothing,” Sarah says. She gazes at Jonas in a way I’ve never seen anyone look at him before—with so much tenderness my heart stops vicariously for him.

“This would be a personal favor to me,” Sarah says, not taking her eyes off Jonas.

“I don’t have the resources to find these ladies by myself without having their full names, but I think you can do it. ”

“Shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Thank you. I’m gonna need this information as soon as possible, please.”

“I’ll do my best.”

I can’t stop staring at Sarah—at the way she’s looking at Jonas. I’ve never seen anyone look at him like that. Shit, I’ve never seen anyone look at me like that.

My eyes are burning. I’ve suddenly got a lump in my throat. Holy shit. What’s happening to me right now? I’m about to lose complete control. I swallow hard and steal a quick look at Kat. Her eyes are glistening and her face is red.

I cover my face with my hands again, too overwhelmed to look at her anymore. I can’t process this. It’s too much.

I honestly never thought Jonas would find a woman he’d tell about Mom and Dad and The Lunacy, too.

And I certainly never thought, if he did, that woman would nonetheless look at him like Sarah’s looking at Jonas right now.

I swallow hard, forcing my emotions down again.

I’m so happy for my brother right now, and so fucking relieved for myself, I feel like crying, which is a fucking crazy thought.

Holy shit. Jonas is gonna be happy. Sarah loves him, warts and all.

I swallow hard again. This is fucking incredible.

But wait.

My joy for my brother is suddenly derailed by an overwhelming sense of panic for myself.

Kat.

She knows too much. She knows things I never tell anyone—things I don’t want her to know.

In the taxi after Reed’s party, Kat already told me she knows about my parents, thanks to Jonas telling Sarah.

“It happened a long time ago,” I said breezily, dodging the subject like I always do.

But now she knows I’m not quite as unscathed by everything as I let on—that my tattoos aren’t just quippy doodles on my skin or youthful, drunken attempts at being profound.

Now she knows my skin is inked with my life’s greatest sorrow.

She knows.

And yet.

Kat gave me her “application” to “The Josh Faraday Club,” didn’t she—even though she knows I’m more scarred than I let on? She did it because she wants to see the scars, whatever they are.

“What’s the name of the school where Miss Westbrook worked in Seattle, Jonas?” Sarah asks Jonas. “That might be helpful for Eric to know for his search.”

There’s a beat. Jonas isn’t answering her. He looks like a deer in headlights.

Aw, Jonas.

“St. Francis Academy,” I say, answering for my brother.

Jonas flashes me a grateful smile and I grin at him. Some things will never change.

“Okay. I’ll do my best,” Eric says.

“Thank you,” Sarah says. She puts her arm around Jonas’ back and squeezes him tightly, and he leans into her, completely at ease in her tender embrace.

“Okay,” Agent Eric says. “I’ll go talk to my boss right now. I’ll give you guys a call later.” He nods at Kat, reassuring her in particular. “I promise I’ll give it my all.”

“I know you will, Eric,” Kat purrs. She shifts her eyes to me and leaves them there. Oh my God, she’s looking at me like she sees right through me—like my invisible shield has somehow vanished and I’m laid bare for her. “ I have full faith in you, ” Kat says.