Page 35 of Infatuation (The Josh & Kat Trilogy #1)

“Well, all right, then.” I turn my attention to Henn, popping up from my chair. “Get up, Henny. We’re gonna role-play.” I let my eyes drift suggestively to Josh. “One of my very favorite things to do, actually.” I wink.

The smoldering look on Josh’s face tells me he understands my meaning just fine.

“Come on, Henn. Get up . ”

Henn stands warily.

“Okay. We’re at a bar. You see me from across the room. You’re interested in me. Go.”

“ Go ?”

“Yeah, go. Do what you’d normally do when you see a babe at a bar.”

“You want me to do what I usually do when I see a really pretty girl at a bar?”

“Correct.”

Henn shrugs, beelines to the front door of the suite, opens the door, and leaves the room. Josh and I look at each other and burst out laughing. After a beat, there’s a soft knock at the front door and Josh strides to it, still laughing.

“Thanks,” Henn says, re-entering the room. “Damn door locked behind me.”

I’m laughing so hard, I’m crying. “Oh, Henny, you’re hilare.”

“I think maybe my strategy needs a little fine-tuning,” Henn says.

“Just a little,” I agree. “Okay, so approach me. Come on. Pretend I’m a girl you’re interested in.”

“Well, that’s not hard to do,” he mutters.

“Come on. Just be yourself.”

Henn stares at me for a long minute and then throws up his hands. “I have no fucking idea what to do.” He plops himself into a chair.

“Don’t overthink it. The truth is, it doesn’t actually matter what you say to a woman—it’s all in your attitude. You know how in public speaking, they say to imagine your audience naked?”

“Yeah. You’re saying I should imagine you naked? Oops. Too late. I just did.” His face turns bright red. “Confession time: that wasn’t the first time I’ve done that. Sorry.”

I laugh. “No, no, no. Don’t imagine the babe naked—you’ll get too flustered. Instead, just imagine your dick is so big, it drags on the ground.” I glance at Josh pointedly and he shoots me a naughty smile.

“Do you have any advice that’s a bit more concrete than that?” Henn asks. “Imagining my dick is dragging on the ground seems a bit esoteric .”

I laugh. “Okay, I’ve got a great rule of thumb for you,” I say.

“Every time you open your mouth to talk to a woman you’re interested in—a babe you wanna bag—ask yourself this question: ‘Is what I’m about to say more or less likely to get me a blowjob?

’ If the answer is yes, then say it—but if the answer is no, then shut the fuck up. ”

Josh bursts out laughing.

“Whoa,” Henn says.

“Words to live by,” Josh says. “Did one of your brothers come up with that little gem?”

“No. That’s all me.”

“Damn,” Josh says. “I think we just discovered who of the three of us is the real fucking genius. Damn .”

“If all men knew that one simple rule,” I continue, “the world would be a much happier place.”

“Fuck yeah,” Josh agrees. “For everyone.” He spreads his legs and reaches under the table, presumably adjusting his dick in his pants. “What other tips you got, Madame Professor? I must admit, I’m finding your lesson plan highly educational.”

“That’s it. I’m done talking. Now it’s time for Henny to learn through doing. Come on, Henny. Get up. It’s role-play time.”

Henn scowls at me.

“Oh, come on. This is for your own good. Try to pick me up, using all the advice I just gave you. ”

Henn grimaces.

“Get up. Come on,” I say.

Henn begrudgingly stands.

“Okay. We’re in a bar. I’m a babe you’re interested in bagging. Go .”

“Bars aren’t really my thing, actually. I have a lot more success at places like, you know, Starbucks. Gimme a woman with a laptop in Starbucks, preferably a cute little brunette with glasses, and I’m Don Juan.”

“Okay. Fine. We’re in Starbucks. I’ve got a laptop. Go. ”

“Brown hair and glasses?”

“You bet. Now go .”

“Well, is your laptop a Mac or a PC?”

I make a face. “Whichever. That’s not important. Go .”

“Not important ? Are you mad ?”

“Okay, fine.” I roll my eyes. “A Mac. Now, go .”

“Can you be more specific, please? What model? A Mac Book Pro? Or a Mac Book Air? And how many gigabytes of memory?”

“Holy Filibuster, Batman!” I shout.

Josh laughs.

“No more stalling, Henn,” I say. “Come on. Goooooooooo .”

“ Fine .” He closes his eyes briefly, and when he opens them, he’s clearly got his Casanova face on. “Um. Oh, hi there, pretty brunette lady with glasses. I’m Hennessy. I was wondering, is your name ‘Wi Fi’ by any chance?”

I make a face. “Is my name ‘ Wi Fi ’?” I ask, not comprehending his meaning.

“Yeah, because I really feel a connection to you.”

We all laugh together.

“I told you, I have no idea,” Henn says, smiling shyly. “The initial approach is the hardest thing for me.”

“You just have to act like it’s a foregone conclusion,” Josh says. “Make her think it’s her lucky day you’ve graced her with your attention.”

I roll my eyes. “Oh, this I gotta see. Show us how you do it, Playboy.”

“Oh, you wanna see how I do it, huh?”

“Hell yeah. Razzle-dazzle us, Playboy. ”

He smirks. “You sure you can handle it?”

“Pretty sure.”

“Okay, I’ll show you the Playboy razzle-dazzle, but I gotta warn you, even in role-play, it’s gonna make you wanna sleep with me.”

“I’ll risk it.”

“Just sayin’—you’ve been warned.”

“I’ll risk it,” I say again.

“I think you should sign a waiver first.”

I roll my eyes. “Just give it to me already.”

“That’s exactly what you’ll say after I show you the Playboy razzle-dazzle.”

I laugh. “We’ll see about that. Come on.”

“Fine. But we’re at a bar, not Starbucks. At least let me play on my home turf.”

“Okay,” I say. “We’re at a bar. Go .”

Josh slowly gets up from his chair and sidles up to me, taking his sweet time.

“Hey, beautiful,” he says smoothly. “I’m Josh.” He puts out his hand.

I take his hand. “Hi, I’m Kat.”

He leans into me, close enough for me to get a whiff of his cologne, and my knees instantly go weak.

He whispers softly into my ear. “What are you drinking, Kat?”

My clit zings. “A mojito,” I choke out.

He turns to Henn. “Hey, bartender, another mojito for the gorgeous lady with the sexy little cleft in her chin.” He looks at me and levels me with a dark blue smolder that makes my clit pound like a jackhammer.

“You ready to get out of here, sweetheart? Because I’m in the mood to make you feel so fucking good,” he whispers, almost inaudibly, skimming his hand down my arm.

“Before you answer, you should know: I’ve got a huge dick and I know exactly how to use it to make you scream.

All you need to decide is whether you wanna have the night of your life. ”

There’s a long beat during which I feel warm wetness literally ooze into the crotch of my panties.

“What do you say, honey? You ready to go?”

I nod.

“Let’s go. ”

He holds out his hand and I take it.

All of a sudden, I want one thing: for Josh to pull me out the door and straight to my room. But, instead, Josh releases my hand and turns to Henn, smiling.

“Badah-bing-badah-boom,” he says. “Easy peasy. Now you try it. Just like that.”

“Ummmmmmmm,” Henn says. “Could you be serious, please? I actually wanna know what you do, no kidding around.”

“I wasn’t kidding around. That’s what I do.”

Henn laughs. “Come on, Josh.”

Josh whips his attention onto me. “Kat, in all seriousness—would that have worked on you if I did it just like that?”

“In all seriousness?” I say. Oh man, my heart is racing out of my chest. “ Hell yes .”

“See?” Josh says. He shrugs. “Success with babe-baggery is all about confidence. Everything else is secondary.” He sits back down, a cocky grin on his face. “Thank you, Kat.” He winks. “You’re excellent at role-play—not surprisingly.”

I sit back down, flustered.

“It always boils down to confidence,” Josh says. “Am I right, Madame Professor?”

“Yeah,” I say, struggling to regain my composure.

Oh shit. There’s a deep, dull ache in my abdomen that won’t go away.

I clear my throat. “But don’t forget, Josh, getting the babe hooked on the line is only the first step—then you’ve actually got to be able to deliver on all that bravado or else you’re sunk.

” I shoot Josh a smart-ass look that, hopefully, says, “You’re full of shit. ”

Josh’s eyes are brimming with confidence.

“Well, duh. It goes without saying a guy’s gotta be able to deliver on everything he promises—that’s where true confidence comes from, being able to walk the walk.

” He winks. “‘Under-promise and over-perform,’ I always say. And believe me, I just under-promised on what I can perform.”

Oh holy hell. I can’t breathe.

“So let’s start simple, then,” Josh says to Henn.

“The first step is being able to kiss a woman like a boss. For women, kissing is everything—you gotta be able to curl her toes, man. From there, all good things will come to you. Kiss a woman right, she’ll be begging you for more. Am I right, Madame Professor? ”

I shoot Josh a pointed look. “Yep. No doubt about it. Begging.”

Josh bites his lip.

“Well, no sweat, guys. Because I happen to be a fantastic kisser.”

“Really?” I ask, surprised.

“Yup.”

“ Fantastic ?”

“Well, okay, maybe not fantastic. But pretty damned good.”

“What’s your technique?”

“My technique ? Well, I can’t describe it. It’s a show-me-don’t-tell-me kind of thing.”

“Well, you gotta give me something to work with here, Henny. How else am I gonna be able to give you feedback?”

“I can’t describe it,” Henn says, shrugging his shoulders. “You’ll just have to trust me.”

“Try explaining it to me, Henn,” I say. “Josh is right—that first kiss can make or break you—lead you to the Promised Land or sink you like a stone.” I flash Josh a smart-ass look. “You gotta get it right.”

Josh squints at me. “Yeah, Kat’s right. But that’s only because women sometimes place ridiculous importance on what should be a simple kiss—irrational, ridiculous, stupid importance—when they should just chill out and go with the flow and stop acting like a fucking terrorist.”

“Jesus, Josh,” Henn says.