Page 14 of Indie
“What do you mean?” I stepped closer, and she stepped backwards.
“You’ve made him angry.”
“He’ll not be back.” I was confident. “He’d be stupid to come back.”
She shook her head, tossing it from side to side, murmuring something I couldn’t quite make-out. I edged a step closer, slowly, so that I didn’t frighten her. But she was too busy, lost in whatever thoughts she was battling with to notice. She jabbered something else, something unintelligible, rubbing at her arms like she was cold. And now I was right in front of her, close enough to brush my fingers under her chin, making her jump this time and retreating.
“Shush Emmie. It’s ok. They’ve gone now.”
She lifted her eyes to mine, sparkling, full of tears that seemed unable to fall. Held in place by fear and worry. The sea green was as intense as I’d ever seen them, and this close, under the yellowing overhead lights, freckles dusted gently over her nose, the same apricot colour of her hair. The cut on her lip had reopened, a tiny prick of blood gathering at the break in her skin, fresh and wet.
“You don’t know him, Indie. You don’t know me. You don’t know anything,” she whimpered.
“Emmie, it’s ok. He’ll not be back. I promise.” I’d make sure of that.
She shook her head again, pulling her face from my grip.
“No, no, no. He will be back. He always comes back. It doesn’t matter what I do. Nothing can stop him. I can’t stop him.”
My stomach lurched, a sudden knot tightening in my chest. The pain of her words.
“The police?”
“I’ve tried. I tried to get a restraining order. But he kept coming, still. And each time it gets worse.”
“The beatings?” I swallowed, not ready for her to give me an answer. Not sure I could cope with hearing it.
“Yes. And now you’ll have made him angry. But it’ll be me he takes it out on. He’ll make sure the kids are in bed, or not home, and then he’ll come round. And…”
She didn’t finish the sentence, just stared at me, tears filling her eyes, one escaping and dripping down the side of her face.
“I can’t stop him, Indie. I’ve tried. Believe me, I’ve tried. But no one can stop him.”
“And you’re still married to him?”
“He doesn’t live with us anymore. But that doesn’t stop him from coming round. Normally when he wants money. He said if I ever tried to divorce him, he’d beat me in front of the kids. They can’t see that, Indie. They just can’t. They don’t know. It would kill me if they did. If they saw.”
Her voice hiccupped, the tear that had been threatening in the corner of her eye, falling down her face. Her chest heaving as she tried with every effort to keep herself from crying. And suddenly my heart broke into a million tiny pieces.
“Emmie. I’m so sorry.”
I pulled her towards me, a gentle nudge, and at first there was resistance, just a tiny bit. But then her head touched my chest, gingerly at first, and then heavier, her shoulders shuddering with each sob as she buried her face into my hoodie.
We stood there like that for what seemed like forever. And I just held her, my arms wrapped around her body, until the sobs slowed, giving way to an erratic breathing. Her hair tickled my chin, wisps of light ginger sticking up from the messy bun on the top of her head, the smell of coconut drifting up my nose. I closed my eyes, inhaling a big gulp of air, feeling her against me. And now suddenly I was lonely. Demon had Ciara. My dad had Tori. And me, I had no one. Not even a pet.
I rested my chin on the top of her head, keeping my eyes closed for just a little longer, letting my imagination loose. Imagining that this was more than comforting a young woman in distress. Imagining that I meant something to her, that I had the right to wrap my arms around her. Imagining that someone might hold me like that, when my time of distress arrived from where it lurked in the shadows.
Chapter Seven
“I’m so sorry you got caught up in all of that,” my words muffled against his chest, where my face rested against the hardness of pecs.
His whole body was hard against me, not the softness of flesh like I’d expected. But under that grey hoodie he was solid, a frame now hinting at so much more.
“Emmie,” he whispered from over the top of me, the sigh he let out catching the strands of my hair and sending a shiver down my spine.
What the hell was I doing stood in this man’s embrace? I’d only met him days before whilst caring for his dying father,and now I was wrapped in his arms. Where I could just stay for a little more. Where, for the first time in years, I felt safe. Even if that was synthetic. Fleeting. Because when Gaz licked his wounds, he’d be back, and it wouldn’t be Indie he’d be coming for.
“Come on, Spuggy,” Indie said, as if answering me. “It’ll be ok. I’ll make sure he doesn’t come back.”