Page 97 of In Want of a Suspect
Lizzie looked up Darcy expectantly, but he remained quiet.Finally, she couldn’t stand it anymore. “What did she mean?”
“What?” Darcy asked, as if he hadn’t been present mere moments earlier.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about,” she teased, but she was half serious. “You’ve never told me what transpired between you and Josette. Not precisely.”
Darcy looked supremely uncomfortable. “I told you—we courted, but after a short time we parted ways. She wanted different things, and I...”
“You apologized for everything,” Lizzie argued. “Tell me whateverythingmeans.”
Darcy looked at the ground and sighed. “It’s not that I want to keep it a secret. But I’m afraid you won’t like me very much after I tell you.”
“Impossible,” Lizzie promised. “Now, out with it.”
Darcy sighed. “It’s embarrassing, Lizzie.”
“Because she turned you down?”
“No. I mean, a little, but... that’s not all. Or not it, entirely.” He seemed desperate to look anywhere but at her. “As you may be aware, I am not always the most sociable person.”
“Iamaware,” Lizzie said with an indulgent smile. “Was she?”
“She knew that I didn’t relish fanciful social interactions. It was what drew us together initially. I grew to like her, despite what I viewed at the time as certain... disadvantages.”
“What disadvantages?” Lizzie asked.
“This is the part where I don’t come off so nicely,” he told her, finally looking her in the eye. “I told her she wasn’t always accepted in society circles, although she was liked well enough. But some people choose to hold her parentage against her, and it makes certain social situations awkward. I knew that anyone she married would share that burden, and I truly didn’t mind, but...”
Lizzie knew Darcy well enough by now to predict where this was going. “Darcy. Tell me you were not so frank with her about this matter when you proposed marriage!”
“Well, I didn’t use those exact words!”
Lizzie turned her gaze up to the sky. “Whatdidyou say?”
“I believe what I said was... I understood that our family circumstances made a union between us unlikely, but I admired her and, despite the fact that it went against the wishes of my family, I would gladly ask for her hand in marriage.”
Lizzie merely stared at him. She could not imagine a more atrocious proposal.
“It was awful of me,” he rushed to add. “And it should comfort you to know that she told me so. She would have been within her rights to turn me out at that instant, but somehow she managed to refuse me and make me understand that we were fundamentally ill-suited. Which was kinder than I deserved.”
Lizzie finally laughed. “I would have slapped you!”
Darcy raked a hand through his hair. “I was striving forhonesty. I thought ladies appreciated that quality.”
“Honesty is all well and good,” Lizzie agreed. “But I am not sure you needed to bethathonest when proposing marriage. You might want to work on improving your technique if you ever want to be successful.”
An instant later, Lizzie realized the implication of her words and she felt heat rush throughout her body. She opened her mouth to take back what she said, explain that she was merely teasing Darcy. But no words came out. Because... perhaps she didn’t want to take it back. She wanted Darcy to propose to her. Not now, and not next week or next month. But someday. Someday, she thought that she might like to hear whatever pretty words Darcy could muster. And even if they weren’t perfectly romantic—this was Darcy, after all—they would be heartfelt and honest, and they would be fromDarcy. And she’d be ready to hear them, and she would say yes when he was done. Because Lizzie knew that Darcy wanted her to say yes, and have it be her choice, not influenced by her mother or society.
Darcy watched her carefully, and it was as though he could read her like an open book. He smiled slowly, and said, “Duly noted, Miss Bennet.”
She grinned then, but because she was herself, she couldn’t help but add, “I suppose from now on we ought to watch our backs. How long do you think it will take before Lady Catherine hears of what happened and our part in it?”
“I don’t know,” Darcy said. “Not long, probably. But right now I’m far more worried about what your mother is going to do to the both of us when I escort you home.”
“Are you sure you want to come to the door? You could drop me off at the top of the street once more, for old time’s sake.”
“Not a chance.”
Lizzie laughed. “Are you prepared for what will follow?”
She meant it in jest, but Darcy met her gaze with a quiet intensity that took her breath away. He offered her his hand. “I am. Are you?”
“You know,” she said as she took it, “I do believe I am.”