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Luca

The scarf is starting to lose Luther’s scent. I’ve been wrapped up in it for hours, pulling in lungs full of leather and musk like it might anchor me, might fool my body into thinking he’s here. It’s not working. It was never going to work. Still, I press my nose into it, take another deep breath, and try not to lose my fucking mind. I’ve never in my life wanted something so bad and been denied it. My Omega is yelling at me to fix this, to bring Luther home, and tell him to fill me, to use me, to break me and then put me back together.

The worst part is that I can’t turn off that need. When Grayson came back earlier smelling like Luther, I was all over him, kissing and sucking and licking, crying out for an Alpha that wasn’t here. Maceo had to peel me off and drop me back into Blake’s arms, purring at my side until I passed out.

But I’m awake again, my gaze fixed on the front door as I peek over the back of the couch, hoping, waiting, praying . A frustrated growl tears from my throat as I curl deeper into the nest, into Blake. His warmth seeps into my skin, his scent thick in my lungs. He’s been really clingy since he woke up, his fingers constantly brushing against me, his body pressing close like he’s trying to memorize my shape. I don’t mind. I need him too.

His nose drags slowly along my scent gland and I know what he’s doing. He’s scenting Luther too, trying to pull him into this moment, into the space where we exist without him. It should be comforting. It should help. It doesn’t because it smells like distressed Omega in here. I’m not even sure Blake realizes how unstable his scent is at this moment, coating every inch of this room, mixing with mine until it’s nearly suffocating.

There’s nothing I can do, either. Biologically, two Omegas together are a disaster. I’m barely holding on and Blake is faring worse. Grayson and Maceo… I feel through the bond, a little confused when there seems to be nothing there. Peeking my head back over the couch, I see them huddled in the kitchen, harsh whispers and tense expressions revealing themselves to me. I don’t need to know what they’re saying to realize that Luther isn’t coming back just yet.

“Cupcake, stop moving,” Blake whines, tugging me back down into the nest. I squirm against his side, giving in and placing my head against his chest. That’s when I realized his heartbeat isn’t right. I can hear it, uneven and off-tempo, like it can’t decide if it wants to slow down or speed up. Every few beats, he sucks in an extra breath, like his body is trying to compensate for something. Like it’s struggling to keep up.

I frown, pressing in closer, feeling the rise and fall of his chest against mine. Tipping my head up, I catch how pale he is, a few shades lighter than he was this morning. His lips are dry, his fingers twitching where they’re rubbing at his chest, slow, absentminded, like he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. My stomach twists at the thought that I might be losing more than one mate. “Blake,” I mumble, trying to hold back my emotions. “How are you feeling?”

He exhales hard through his nose. “Fine.”

Liar.

His jaw tightens, his fingers pressing harder against his sternum like he’s trying to hold himself together. I shift, moving before I can think twice about it, swinging my legs over his lap so that I’m straddling him.

Blake blinks up at me, startled, lips parting like he’s about to protest. I don’t give him the chance. I cup his face, thumbs brushing over his sharp cheekbones, my chest tight, throat burning with the anguish of this moment. I don’t want to cry, but the feeling is there, creeping up the back of my throat. The chaos of losing Luther, Blake fading, and those lingering feelings seeping through my bond with Hudson are messing with my head.

I just need one thing to go right. Just one. Is that so hard to ask?

My Omega is staring up at me, his fingers slowly curling into the waistband of my pants, brushing over the bare skin where my shirt rises up. God, I need him—not that either of us has the energy to start something. So, I lean down and kiss him, settling further down on his lap, rocking myself forward until his cock starts to respond beneath me.

Blake lets out a shaky breath against my mouth before his fingers dig into my waist, dragging me down further as he responds. I press in deeper, kissing him slowly, trying to push something warm into all the cold places he won’t acknowledge.

It’s so natural, the way we both start chasing the friction, the comfort, the thing that makes all the bad shit go quiet for just a second. I slide my fingers into his hair, pulling him closer, swallowing down the soft noises he makes as he tilts his head up to meet me. I didn’t think I’d ever miss someone the way I do with Luther.

It’s this deep, cavernous thing, an ache I don’t know how to soothe. It sits right there in my chest, just below my heart, next to the spot where all my worst fears live. I don’t know if Blake feels the exact same way, but I can tell he understands it. He lets out a heavy sigh against my lips, breath shaky, and I finally pull back, resting my forehead against his.

“I’m gonna get you some water, okay?” I whisper, wanting to take care of him. Grayson and Maceo are watching Blake closely, having mentioned several times that at the first sign of distress, they’re taking him to the hospital. However, I think Blake is so much worse off than we know.

He’s holding back. I can’t feel him as strong as I usually do and the way his eyes seem to unfocus at times terrifies me. I pat his chest, slowly rising off of his lap to head for the kitchen when the temperature in the room seems to drop several degrees. Blake tenses beneath me, a flicker of fear running through his expression as he grabs for me, frantic fingers tugging me back down.

It’s seconds before I’m curled up in his lap, my head buried in his chest as Blake rocks me back and forth. His breath ghosts over my ear as he whispers, “They won’t take you from me.”

I’m not exactly sure when it started, maybe a day after Luther handed himself in, but Blake can’t be apart from me. He’s under the impression that I’ll be taken next, that someone is slowly ripping this new family from his grasp. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have the same fear—if I didn’t believe that without Luther in this room, we’re more susceptible to whatever Hudson is planning. But Blake’s reaction to the situation is something I’ve never seen before.

I’ve never been needed so fiercely and loved so hard that my entire body responds. “I’m not going anywhere,” I finally tell him.

Grayson and Maceo move toward the couch, sitting on either side of us, immediately catching onto Blake’s distress. It’s hard not to when his usually sweet scent is burnt with fear. The way Blake is curled in on himself. The way his breath stutters in his chest. The way I’m gripping him too tight, like I can physically hold him together if I just don’t let go. Tears gather in my eyes as I meet Grayson’s gray ones. “He’s hurting so much,” I whisper, my bottom lip trembling.

My Alpha leans in, pressing a tender kiss to Blake’s temple before resting his head there for just a moment. “I know, baby. But Quentin mentioned there isn’t much we can do other than monitor him, make sure he’s eating and sleeping.”

The problem is that he’s not really doing either of those. I’m about to make another comment about it but realize there’s no point. Because my worry is just making Blake struggle more. The stress he’s under is growing and I’m adding to it. A small whine falls from my lips as Gray removes me from Blake’s arms, Maceo stealing Blake into his. There’s a moment of panic in Blake’s expression before he settles, his eyes wide and focused on me as if I might just disappear.

Our Beta cradles Blake against his chest, unearthing a small napkin, a sandwich inside. Maceo holds the edge to Blake’s lips, hope swirling through his gaze. “Come on, Blake. You need to eat at least a little something.”

Blake’s body stiffens. I have no idea why he’s hesitating. A few days ago, I was in that spot, scared and terrified of the world and now Blake is suffering and other than sitting here, watching him fade, there’s nothing I can do. Until he twists his head toward me, searching for something—approval, acceptance? I have no clue.

I force a watery smile, wiping at my face, trying to hold it together, trying to keep it together for him. “Please just eat something,” I whisper. “ Please .”

Blake swallows hard, glancing between us before his gaze finally drops as Maceo presses a sandwich to his lips again. For a second, I don’t think he’s going to do it. Then he does. Just a little bite but it’s enough.

I let out a slow breath, my body sinking back against the cushions as the tension in my chest finally loosens just enough for me to breathe. Grayson shifts beside me, pulling me against him, and I don’t resist. His arms come around me, his scent filling the space as I let my head rest against his chest.

The harsh thrum of the bond tells me that all of this is going to get worse before it gets better, Grayson’s arms tightening around me. “I thought we’d have more time,” he mumbles into my hair. “Thought that if we could figure something out, an explanation, something —that it wouldn’t be this chaotic.”

I frown as I start playing with the buttons on his shirt. “What are you talking about?” I twist around so that I can see Blake, suddenly needing to make sure he’s okay. He’s taking small bites of the sandwich, Maceo staring down at him like he’s the most precious thing in the entire world.

“Hudson’s claim to you still stands. Luther’s hasn’t been validated, which means that you only have one bonded Alpha that can put a claim to you at this moment.” Gray blows out a heavy breath, fanning the curls on top of my head.

I hate that it matters who I ‘belong’ to, hate that the bite in my neck dictates where I’m allowed to be and who can claim me. Why is me saying no not enough? I shudder, raising a hand up to the thin bandage on my neck covering Hudson’s multiple bites. It’s healing but not fast enough, a dull throb beneath my skin, a reminder that no matter where I go, no matter what I do, he’s still tethered to me.

I can feel his thoughts sometimes. His cravings. His absolute, unrelenting need to get to me. It’s why I can’t sleep. Why every time I close my eyes, he’s there. I swallow hard, dropping my hand back into my lap, curling my fingers into the hem of my shirt as I force the words out. “I’m not going back with him. He can’t make me.” A man like Hudson could so easily drag me back into that godforsaken apartment that I left.

I’m just hoping the men in this room will keep that from happening because I’m not sure I can survive that nightmare a second time.

Maceo doesn’t say anything at first, too focused on feeding Blake. He’s still holding him in his lap, offering him tiny bites, coaxing him through it. Blake’s cheeks have warmed just a little, his scent mellowed out again, soft and easy and safe. He’s leaning into his Omega instincts now, letting himself be cared for, and it’s good. It’s better.

I don’t realize I’m staring until Maceo’s gaze flicks over to me. His jaw is pulled tight, his nostrils flared in anger not directed at me. “We’re not giving you back.”

My chest tightens, relief and anxiety crashing together in a way that makes my head spin.

“But,” Maceo continues, “that only happens if there’s another Alpha to claim you.”

My brows furrow as I sit up straight, confused and worried. “But an Alpha just claimed me. Why do I need another claim?” Then it clicks. Without Luther’s protection, legally Hudson could demand that I come home. However, if there was another Alpha to assume his claim, I could choose who I wanted to stay with and since it would happen outside of a heat, it would be official.

There’s only one other Alpha in this room, though.

I twist around to look up at Grayson, a wild smile on his lips as he leans down to kiss me. It’s soft and slow, Grayson taking his time to devour me before leaning back. My lids flutter as arousal pools in my lower belly, my cock hardening until it’s pressing against the seam of my shorts. “Are you going to claim me?” The fantasies of being part of Grayson and Blake’s pack have long been in my head.

It was never a possibility at that time but it didn’t mean I hadn’t thought about it. And now, there’s a very real chance these men could be all mine.

Grayson’s breath stutters just a little, and then his whole body shifts toward me, like he’s making sure I see him, like he wants me to hear what he says next without a single doubt. “If you’d let me claim you,” he murmurs, “I’d be honored.” He kisses me again, a much shorter one this time before he continues. “This kind of claiming has to be signed off by another Alpha. It has to be official, has to be mutual, has to be free from coercion.”

I pout, my bottom lip jutting out at the idea of someone else in the room. “Why can’t Maceo just do it?”

I know my scent shifts, getting sweeter, thicker, wrapping around both of them, and then I feel it. The way Grayson’s cock thickens against my ass, the way his grip tightens for just a second before he groans, letting his purr rumble through his chest. Slick gathers around my hole, threatening to turn this moment into something else entirely.

Maceo, from his spot on the couch, sighs. “I’m not an Alpha, sweetheart. And besides, I know you.” There’s a smirk in his voice. “It wouldn’t be impartial.”

“I don’t want anyone to watch me.”

Grayson nods, thumb brushing along my hip. “I know, babe, but it’s the rules. Without an impartial Alpha, it won’t work.”

I pout harder, rolling my hips just a little to feel how hard Grayson is against me, hoping maybe I can distract him into saying fuck the rules. It doesn’t work. “Can we have him come here?” I ask, hopeful that I won’t have to put on actual clothes or leave Blake’s side.

Grayson barks out a laugh. “Do you really want someone else near your nest?”

The horror of that thought makes my whole body go rigid. I shake my head, fast. “No.” I glance at Blake, curled up on the couch. His breathing is still too shallow, but he looks better than he has in hours. A soft sigh falls from my lips as I stare at him, my heart breaking just a little more. “Okay. But we’re not doing anything until we get Blake to the hospital.”

Blake makes a noise, low in his throat, like he’s already gearing up for an argument, but I cut him off. “No, don’t argue with me, Blake. You’re hurting, and it’s not just because our Alpha was taken from us.”

Grayson cuts in. “Luca, there’s nothing they can do—”

“No!” I crawl from my Alpha’s lap, twisting around to jab him in the chest. “I know there’s nothing we can do about it. That we just have to wait. That we just have to remove the stress but I want every last test done. I want them to check everything. I need to know that we’ve done absolutely everything possible to make him comfortable. It hurts, Alpha. It. Hurts.” I’ve mentioned it briefly before that I can feel Blake.

But unlike Luther, I can feel Blake’s pain the way he can feel mine. It isn’t just his emotions. It’s the way the demons plague his mind and his heart beats a little too fast and the way his body fights against his wishes. And I know for a fact that I’m only feeling a fraction of what he is. The tears I’ve been holding back for a while stream down my cheeks and I turn to face Blake, reaching for him, threading my fingers through his. His skin is too cool, his frantic expression softening now that we’re touching again. “Please, Bear.”

The name slips out before I can stop it.

Blake sucks in a sharp breath. His eyes go wide, lips parting just slightly, and for a second, it feels like we’ve slipped back in time. Back before everything went to shit. Back when he used to wrap himself around me like a teddy bear, keeping me safe from everything. His fingers tighten around mine as his eyes glaze over with unshed tears. “Luca,” he whispers.

I squeeze his hand. “Why won’t you just admit you’re in pain?”

And that’s when I feel it. Through the bond we have with Luther. The pain Blake’s been trying to hide. The raw, aching, gut-wrenching pain that’s been eating him alive. It rushes toward me like a freight train, stealing my breath, two guttural sounds coming from my other mates telling me that they feel it too.

I don’t waste any time rushing around, grabbing his shoes, and a coat because I’m not losing Blake. I’m not losing anyone else that I fucking care about. Not again. Never again.