Page 13

13

Blake

I wake up aching, my body too warm, the heat curling low in my stomach refusing to settle. It isn’t as bad as last night, but it’s still there, humming beneath my skin, twisting through my muscles, until laying here feels like both the best and worst thing right now.

I shift slightly, adjusting against the weight wrapped around me, trying to find relief, trying to get comfortable, but it doesn’t help. My body wants something, someone, more than what I have right now. I already know what’s missing.

I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the feeling away, curling further into Maceo’s chest, trying to pretend like it’s enough. Grayson’s arm is draped across my waist, his face buried into the back of my head, Maceo holding us together, anchoring us, shielding us from the rest of the world. And yet, it’s still not enough.

A groan falls from my lips as I shift again, trying to find a spot comfortable enough for sleep but the pressure in my bladder quickly forces me to move. I wriggle carefully, trying not to wake my mates, trying not to think about how much I hate leaving the small spot between them. Because for the first time in years, I didn’t hate the prospect of a heat. I’m still fucking terrified and I don’t like losing myself like I did but it’s not as horrid as a thought.

Unfortunately, all that changes when I slip into the bathroom, the emptiness of the apartment overwhelming my senses. Their scents are still lingering—a mixture of leather and the ocean, sweet and rough all wrapped up in a fading aura. A few deep breaths isn’t enough to gorge on what’s left of their presence as if them leaving this house has stolen our connection too.

I could have buried myself in Luca’s nest—he wouldn’t have minded—but it feels wrong to be in that space when he’s not here, when he’s been taken from me. Trying to bury all those thoughts and just focus on the here and now, I go through the motions, finish what I need to do, wash my hands, and then I stare at myself in the mirror.

I look like shit. My eyes are bloodshot, my skin pale, the flush from the heat spike still clinging to my cheeks, making me look too warm, too fevered, too needy. I drag a hand through my hair, pushing it back, trying to collect myself before stepping back into my room and immediately searching for the two people I won’t find. My instincts are riding me high, even if the spike is over. I want to burrow myself between Maceo and Grayson and at the same time, whine for what I want, that neediness creeping back up now that I’m awake.

Grayson slowly sits up, throwing me a sloppy grin before opening his arms to me. I stumble into his embrace, nearly tripping over Maceo. He lets out a displeased grunt as I soak up the comfort these two provide, my Alpha placing a soft kiss to my forehead. “How are you feeling, babe?”

I let them pull me back in, even though it isn’t enough.

“Physically, I’m fine right now,” I say, my voice scratchy, my throat tight. “Nothing hurts. I can breathe.” I exhale slowly, staring at the ceiling, trying to focus on something else. “I don’t feel like going anywhere until they come home. Is that wrong? Is that bad? I wanted to work a little, focus on something else…” My attention flits to the door and then I curse myself for it. The tangible fear from when Luca kept leaving me, even just to go to the bathroom is gone but my gaze is still wandering, still searching.

Maceo moves to sit up as well, placing a hand to my back and I settle further between them. “We’ll bring them back, Blake. I promise you that.” I notice he doesn’t say when but I trust his words anyway, staying curled up between them, up until a wave of cold air runs across my skin.

I hesitated, knowing that they’re both going to protest but the need for a distraction is even greater today. Because I can feel Luca even less than I did yesterday and I don’t want to believe that he’s slipping through my fingers, our fingers. “I have some stuff to catch up with at work. Just some emails and things to stay busy. Check in on Bryant maybe.” The words all feel like lead coming out of my mouth, rehearsed words I’ve said a billion times but it feels different now. I’m not excited about it like I was a few weeks ago.

A growl rumbles through both of them, the vibration pressing against my back and side, curling through the space around me. “I want to be so angry with you right now, babe,” Grayson pushes out. “But I understand the need to avoid what’s going on. Not being able to feel Luca is not only terrifying but it’s disconcerting. However,” he gently grips my chin, dragging it up so I can see the seriousness of his expression. “The moment Maceo or I see something is wrong, everything gets shut down. Immediately. No questions asked.”

Heat blooms in my belly but I shove that feeling down, agreeing. Even for just a little while, I need to think about something else again. Anything else.

I sit curled up in Maceo’s lap, my back pressed against his chest, my legs stretched out across the couch, my feet resting in Grayson’s lap. He’s tapping away on his phone, his brows furrowed in that way that always means he’s thinking too hard.

I’m doing the same thing, scrolling through updates, emails, anything to keep my mind from drifting back to what I’m missing. Bryant is more than surprised to get a message from me but the overview he provides in a long ass email that could have been a few sentences is more than enough to satisfy my curiosity. A few of the other employees are all glad I’m ‘back’, saying that Bryant is like a drill sergeant and they miss the more upbeat atmosphere that was run by an Omega.

I should feel some type of way about that but I don’t. Because between avoiding my emotions and trying to type up an email, I’m also hard all over again, my body just a little too hot. Every wiggle in Maceo’s lap only makes it worse, my nostrils flaring as a whine sits at the back of my throat.

Grayson chuckles, his fingers reaching out, brushing over my forehead, smoothing the tension there. “Babe, you’re going to get crease lines,” he murmurs, thumb massaging between my brows. “What’s got you looking like that?”

I flop back against Maceo’s chest, letting out a small huff, my phone dropping onto my stomach as I close my eyes for a second. I know he’s asking about my heat, but I decide to steer the conversation toward work instead. “There’s a bug in one of the new games,” I mutter, rubbing at my temple. “Launch is in a month and our lead coder can’t figure it out.”

Grayson snorts, leaning back, his fingers moving to my ankles, idly rubbing small circles across my skin. “Our coders are some of the best. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

I nod absently, my fingers twitching where they rest on my stomach. That’s when I notice something is off. Grayson, my happy go lucky Alpha, is more subdued than usual and I wonder if he’s feeling the same loss I am. The flicker of anguish runs through his expression before his smile returns, a look that I know he’s keeping up for me.

“You can’t feel him either, can you?” I ask, watching as my Alpha’s shoulders fall in defeat. “It’s torture. I hate not knowing if he’s okay or where he is or if he’s made another nest. But he’s coming home, Gray. I won’t allow anything else. He’s coming home,” I repeat, not sure if I’m telling my Alpha or trying to reassure myself.

“Babe, you know you don’t have to be strong for us, right? You’re allowed to rage,” Grayson continues. “To break. To fall apart.”

I meet his eyes, feeling Maceo press a kiss to my temple, his breath warm against my skin. For a moment, the silence between us thickens, heavy with Grayson’s words and then I shake my head, voice barely above a whisper. “I feel like if I break, it’ll be impossible to be put back together.”

Grayson watches me, his jaw tight, his fingers tracing slow patterns against my leg, like he’s waiting for me to keep talking, waiting for me to admit that this is all too much. Maceo shifts slightly behind me, his hand moving up my side, rubbing slow, steady circles along my ribs. I try to draw comfort from it but my Omega has other ideas, my scent sweetening just enough that I know there’s another spike in my near future. A frustrated whine tears from my throat as Maceo dips his lips to my ear. “You’re not going to break, genius.”

I let out a soft, shaky breath, keeping my eyes closed.

Grayson’s grip on my leg tightens, his fingers pressing in, grounding me. “And even if you do,” he murmurs, “we’ll be here to put you back together. I think that’s enough work for now. Let’s take a nap. When you wake up, we’ll be one step closer to getting Luther home.” There’s mild hope in his voice but I don’t want to just curl up in a ball and wait.

I sit up, reaching for my phone when Maceo slips it off my stomach and shoves it in his pocket. He doesn’t look impressed when I twist around to ask for it. “Genius,” he growls, his tone sharp enough to make my instincts stall out. “I need you to think about your own health for one damn second.” His fingers flex against his thigh, his breath coming a little heavier, a little deeper. “You are just as precious as everyone else in this pack. And right now, you need rest and food. We’re going to take a nap.”

I should argue. I should push back, tell him I’m fine, tell him I don’t need sleep, tell him I just need something to do. But Grayson’s eyebrows are nearly clean off his head, his eyes flicking between me and Maceo, like he’s watching some rare phenomenon unfold right in front of him. And I don’t know whether to melt or fight.

I settle somewhere in between, too tired to do anything else. Maceo hauls me up, my head pressing against his shoulder as he carts me back to the bedroom, Grayson following in silence. Even so, I can feel his amusement through the bond.

By the time Maceo sets me down in the nest, Grayson is still smirking. I melt into the pillows, my body immediately giving into the softness in a way I don’t usually. A lazy smile sits on my lips against my will, my lids already drooping. “You just gonna let Maceo step in and boss me around?”

Grayson shrugs, sliding in beside me, his fingers dragging along my arm, in a slow, teasing line. “I enjoy watching you get flustered, babe.” I scowl, but Grayson just grins wider. “What? You never blush like that with me. Luther, yes. Me? No. Maceo? Apparently .” He leans in, pressing a kiss to my jaw, his lips curving up until his smile is taking over his entire face. “And I’m loving every minute of it.”

I groan, shoving at his chest. “Don’t look so pleased.”

“Oh, don’t scrunch up your nose,” he laughs. “I know you like it. Your scent’s gone all sweet, babe.”

I let out an exaggerated sigh, sinking deeper into the nest as I curled into his chest, Maceo saddling up against my back. If someone had told me that our family lawyer was going to be one of my mates, I would have never believed them but I wouldn’t want Maceo anywhere else. I reach back and drag one of those massive hands over my hip, needing more of his touch and he just laughs.

“Have we heard anything about Luca?” I push out, despite the fact that my body is already trying to drag me under.

Grayson shakes his head before his gaze locks on Maceo’s behind me. Maceo sighs, pulling me a bit closer to his chest. “No. Hearthstone won’t give out any details. They confirmed he was there but that’s it.”

“When Luther’s back, we’ll figure everything out together,” my Alpha mentions.

“Promise me,” I murmur, my voice drunk with sleep. “Promise that we’re going to bring them home.”

“I promise, baby.”

I hold onto those words, knowing that it’s going to take a fucking miracle to right our world again.