Page 83 of Imperfections Forbidden

“I love both of you.But I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for you two to be together, if this is what it’s going to do to you.She’s a hot-ass mess.She doesn’t know whether she’s coming or going, and you, honey—you’re just out of control.Baby, rein it in and take a step back.”

Take a step back.I’ve been stepping back for years.This is the reason we are where we are now.“What if I don’t want to take a step back, Ava?”

“Then you run the risk of losing her forever, in every way.”

I’m not willing to take that risk.She’s the one person I can’t imagine not being in my life.This is going to be one of the hardest things I do in my life.I’m going to walk away for now so she can find what she needs, and hope she’ll come back to me.

“Keep me posted on her.Let me know how she’s doing.”

“I will.”Ava rises up and kisses me on the cheek.“I love you.”

I nod and walk toward the door.“I’m glad someone does.”I’m sure as hell not loving me.

January

Ten thirty on a Thursday night, and I can’t get a damn thing done.I throw the papers down on my desk and get a beer in the kitchen.I’m trying my hardest not to think about her, but it’s not working.She’s all I can think about.Fuck this.I pick up my phone and call the one person who might be able to get my mind off Cat for a while.

She picks up and her voice purrs through the phone silky and sultry.

“Hi, Nick.”

“Hey, Paige.”

“This call mean you’re done with the plaything and you’re ready for the real thing?”

“I don’t have time for the bullshit, Paige.Are you coming over or not?”I’m not interested in small talk, especially about the one person I’m trying to put out of my mind.There’s a long pause before she answers.I think she’s going to say no, and that would be fine.There is always someone else to take her place.

“I’ll be there within the hour.”

Less than an hour later she’s in my apartment and in my bed, completely naked.

“Will I be spending the night?”

“This is not a sleepover.It is what it is.We’re going to fuck, if it’s still good, we might fuck again, then you’re going to take everything you brought with you and leave until next time.Got it?”

“Got it.”

“Good.”She makes a pouty face when she looks at me.I know she wants to say something; she’s working up to it.Paige is a beautiful woman—her face and body is the stuff teenage boys’ dreams are made of —and she has a sex drive that gives me a run for my money.

“You used to be so much nicer to me.”She runs her finger over my lips and wiggles her body underneath me.

“Yeah, well, things change.You know why.You’re free to spread yourself around; this is a no-strings attached thing.Open up.”She smiles and parts her legs, and I settle into familiar territory.

“Yes, counselor, as you wish.”

I kiss her hard and delve in her mouth deep.She moans and scrapes her nails across my back when my hands cover her ample breasts and tweak her nipples between my fingers.I put my hand between her legs to make sure she’s wet and ready for me; she says my name against my ear.I look down at her flawless curvaceous body, ready and waiting for me.I know of at least fifteen men who wish they were where I am right now.All I’m thinking is I wish she would shut up and stop saying my name.It doesn’t sound natural, like when… man, stop, don’t even think about her now or you won’t be able to do this.She pulls my head down against her mouth and asks me what’s wrong.I grab her face roughly and kiss her with all the force I can and reach over to get a condom.Her lip is swollen and red when I pull back.She’s breathing hard, and I ask, “Are you still on the pill?”

“Yes.Why?”

“Just making sure.”The last thing I need is another Kate situation on my hand.Paige is not the motherly type—her career is her baby.She used to say she wanted one kid in ten years and that was cool with me.I rip the gold packet open with my teeth and roll it on.As I’m about to slide into her I see the other packet on the night stand.I grab it and roll it on; I’m done taking any chances.She gives me a strange look.

“When did you get so safety conscious?You know I don’t sleep around, and I wouldn’t try to trap you with a kid.”

“Relax, I know.I’m extra safe if I’m not in a relationship.”

I’ve enough talking.I pin her hands to the bed, slamming into her, and she bucks back with a scream when I pull out and slam back into her with more force than before.I’m lost in the moment and trying to forget Cat.I don’t care if she is getting anything out of this or how hard or fast I’m pounding into her.She knew what it was when she came here; when I’m done she can finish herself off.

When I’m finished I roll off her, and drop back on the bed with my eyes closed.“Shit,” I mutter under my breath.There’s sweat running off me, and my lungs are on fire.Paige is lying on her side next to me, glowing with perspiration and breathing like a race horse.

“Damn, Nick, that was a rough ride.I’m not complaining; you know I like to play hard and wild.”

I remember.I used to think I could never find another person that could match me or satisfy me like Paige.I was wrong.I see Cat’s face behind my closed eyes, and I’m right back where I started.Dammit, I think I’m having buyer’s remorse—more like fuck remorse.Paige puts her hand on my stomach, and I almost jump off the freaking bed to get away from her touch before her hand goes any lower.She lurches up with concern, her breasts bouncing up with her.

“Are you okay?”

I clear my throat and go to the bathroom.“Yeah, I’m going to get rid of these.”I point to the condoms.I look back over my shoulder at her as I’m closing the bathroom door.Paige is sexy, ready and willing for anything I want to do.I should be gearing up for round two.But honest to God, all I can think of is Cat, and she’s not Cat.She can’t make me forget what it feels like when I’m with her.How it feels like heaven when I’m inside her, feeling her softness all around me and the sound of her voice, looking in her eyes when she reaches the point of no return.

There is no substitute for Cat.She is an original.The original love of my life.