Page 76

Dark gray clouds had enveloped the horizon by the time Carrie arrived home.

Luke had already left for work.

Steadying her nerves, clinging by her fingertips to what was normal, Carrie changed Emily. Then she put on Emily’s favorite recording of Sesame Street and set her in front of the TV with her toys.

Outside, distant thunder rolled through the air as Carrie stared at Elmo. With his friends, he sang, in his falsetto voice, “If you’re happy and you know it…”

Carrie hugged herself, her world crumbling around her.

I’m a monster.

I blocked what I did—couldn’t bear remembering. The district attorney will review everything. I’ll go to prison. I’ll lose Emily, Luke. They’ll charge Dad in his dying days.

I’ll be executed!

Elmo sang, “…shout hoo-ray… ”

Her insides twisting, Carrie fought to breathe. Outside, thunder crashed as she reached for her phone. Hands shaking, she found a number, pressed it. The line rang.

“Dr. Bernay’s office, how may I help you?”

“I’m Carrie Conway, a patient. May I speak with her?”

“I’m sorry. Dr. Bernay’s unavailable at the moment.”

“It’s a bit of a crisis. Could you connect me, please?”

“One moment.”

A soothing piece of classical music played; Carrie waited until the receptionist came back.

“Dr. Bernay has been with another patient at a hospital since early morning. She advises that she’ll call shortly.”

“I really need to talk to her.”

“Yes, she’ll call as soon as she can.”

“Thank you.”

Squeezing her phone, tapping it on her knee, Carrie was hit with thoughts of what was coming—media, police questioning, charges. Emily giggled watching Bert and Ernie discussing friendship.

Carrie jumped when her phone rang.