Page 26 of If the Summer Lasted Forever

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

The drive back to Gray Jay feels like it takes all night. True to his word, Landon doesn’t speed, though I know it’s killing him. Only his promise to his dad is making him follow the restrictions on the white signs dotting the road.

Every green, reflective mile marker we pass brings us closer to home, and hopefully closer to Caleb.

I keep telling myself that we’re going to pull in and they’ll have already found him, and everyone will laugh that he wasn’t actually lost, he was just digging through rocks somewhere in the campground and didn’t hear people looking for him.

But I know it’s not true because if they found him, Landon would receive another call. And his phone has been eerily silent.

What we do find when we pull in is chilling.

Landon’s hands tighten on the steering wheel, and he swallows, probably trying to choke down his fear.

Flashlights bob around the campground, making it look like we have a whole mess of adult-sized Halloween tricker treaters wandering the property.

From the looks of it, lots of people have come to help with the search.

Several sheriffs’ cars sit in the registration parking area, and a bunch of people are talking to Paige’s dad, my mom included. Relief washes over her face when she spots the Jeep, and she holds up her hand in a somber greeting as Landon pulls around the back.

“We’re back,” he says into his phone, already talking to his parents, who are thankfully in cell range somewhere. “Where do you need me?”

I’m ripping off my buckle before we’re even stopped, ready to join the search.

Landon hangs up the phone and turns to me. “Dad wants me to talk to the officers, find out where’s the best place to go.”

We hurry to join the group with my mom. As soon as she sees me, she pulls me into a tight hug. The porch lights cast harsh shadows. Her sweet, pixie-esque face looks almost haggard in her worry.

“How long has he been gone?” I ask as Landon talks to the officers.

Mom shakes her head. “We’re not sure. Hunter was watching him, but he disappeared a few hours ago.”

“He took George?” I overhear Landon say, his tone incredulous.

Paige’s dad nods.

Even though the dog is lazy and scared of the dark, it makes me feel a tiny bit better that Caleb isn’t completely alone out there.

“Where do you need us?” I ask Officer Hilden.

“Paige is with the other kids right now in the family’s camper,” he says to me. “They’re awfully upset. They know you pretty well—why don’t you give her a hand?”

I nod. Though disappointed I won’t be joining the search, I’ll go wherever I’m needed.

Then Paige’s dad says to Landon, “We have another group of volunteers going out in a minute. We don’t want anyone taking off alone, but you are welcome to join them.”

Landon nods. He then reaches for me, pulls me into a tight hug, and follows Officer Hilden to several more officers, a few men I recognize from town, and Paige’s brother Trenton.

Now that Landon’s out of earshot, I turn to mom before I join Paige in the Tillmans’ camper. Lowering my voice, I ask, “They don’t think he was kidnapped, do they?”

Her face crumples, but she quickly schools the sharp stab of fear. “We don’t know for certain, but they don’t think so at this time. He took his bike, backpack, that small tent they set up in front of their camper, and the dog . Right now, they’re treating him like a runaway.”

“Caleb wouldn’t run away,” I argue.

“No, but you and I both know there’s a good chance he wandered.”

And then it hits me where he’s at, where he’s gone off to, and my legs almost give out. I grab hold of my mother. “When did you say he left?”

“Probably about five hours now.”

Right after the Tillmans got the news that they were leaving.

“He’s looking for gold,” I whisper, horrified. Gone off to find those circles on his map that we promised we’d take him to next weekend. But they won’t be here next weekend—they’ll be in California.

“Landon!” I yell across the parking lot, racing away from Mom without any explanation.

The group he’s with turns toward me.

“Caleb took his tent and backpack—he’s gone exploring. He’s looking for gold.”

And thank goodness I know Paige’s dad well because he doesn’t look at me like I’ve lost my mind.

“We have rangers searching the nearby trails,” Officer Hilden assures me.

“Can you radio them? Tell them to check out Gideon’s shanty and a few of the local mines? We were supposed to take him back, but he just found out his family’s leaving in a few days.”

Officer Hilden steps to the side, pulling his radio off his belt.

Immediately, he relays the information. I feel sick with worry and guilt.

I promised I’d take Caleb next weekend…and then he found out there wouldn’t be a next weekend.

He looked so crushed yesterday, but he should know better than to take off by himself.

Satisfied I’ve given them all I can, I turn back to Landon. “I’m going to go keep McKenna and Hunter company.”

“Thank you,” he says, squeezing my hand.

“Be careful, okay?”

He nods.

“We’ll find him,” Paige’s brother assures me.

Reluctant to leave, wishing I could search, I walk down the campground road, using my phone as a flashlight.

The first thing I notice when I near Site Twenty-nine is Caleb and McKenna’s toys scattered on the rug in front of the door. It looks like Caleb tossed everything out of their play tent and just left it all lying there. I knock at the door, sending Candy into a frazzled, yapping rage.

“Who is it?” Paige hollers, not about to unlock it for just anyone.

“It’s me.”

With a click of a lock, the door flies open. “I’m so glad you’re back.”

Candy darts out of the camper, barking like a mad thing. Once she realizes it’s me, the racket ceases, and she follows me inside.

McKenna’s sitting on the couch, knees drawn up to her chest, eyes puffy, and face red from her tears.

Hunter’s next to her, looking pale. He sits with a throw pillow clutched to his stomach. He’s holding it so tightly, he looks like a toddler with a security blanket. My heart breaks for him.

I kneel in front of them, not quite sure how to handle the situation. “Hey, guys.”

“Is Landon out there?” Hunter asks.

I nod, and Hunter clutches the pillow tighter, looking angry. “Dad won’t let me join a team.”

“It’s all right. There are so many people out there—someone’s bound to find him soon.”

Hunter meets my gaze. His eyes glisten with unshed tears. “Did they tell you it’s my fault? It is. I was supposed to be watching him.”

“It’s going to be okay.”

He finally breaks down. Several tears escape his eyes, but he scrubs them away with the back of his wrist.

“He was right there ,” he says, choking back a sob.

As nice as it is to see Hunter acting like a human, I wish I could take away his worry and guilt. Paige lingers behind me, unsure how to help.

We end up putting on a bright and happy movie that no one watches. Thirty minutes later, we turn it off. No one’s in the mood for chipper right now.

Finally, we urge the kids to go to bed.

Unnaturally obedient, they go into the bunkhouse without argument and crawl into their beds without bothering to change into pajamas.

“Can you bring me Goldie?” McKenna asks in a small voice.

I look around for a doll or stuffed toy.

“The cat.” She holds out her arms, waiting for her.

Sensing she’s being summoned, the yellow tabby hops off the table bench and leaps onto McKenna’s lower bunk.

The girl lies back, stroking the cat’s fur as the uppity feline walks around her and tries to find a comfortable spot.

Eventually, the cat curls up by the pillow, and McKenna’s eyes flutter closed.

After another hour or so without news, Paige ends up pulling out the jackknife couch that lowers into a bed, and we lie on it, side by side. I set my phone between it, and we both stare at it, waiting for updates. It’s the worst sleepover ever.

Somehow, we all manage to find sleep, and I don’t wake until I hear a key in the front door.

I jerk awake as the remaining three Tillmans walk inside. Behind them, the light of early dawn tints the sky periwinkle. Caleb’s conspicuous absence makes it hard to breathe.

Paige and I sit up, immediately awake. I meet Landon’s eyes, but he only shakes his head.

“Thank you for watching the kids, girls,” Mrs. Tillman says. Her face is gaunt, and her usually stylish hair is pulled back in a clip. Half of it hangs around her face, looking lifeless and flat.

All three sport dark smudges under their eyes from a sleepless night spent searching.

“More volunteers have arrived,” Mr. Tillman says, giving us an explanation I didn’t dare ask for. “Officer Hilden told us to try to get some sleep while they have other people out looking.”

“I don’t want to sleep,” Mrs. Tillman suddenly snaps. “Not when Caleb’s still out there.”

Paige and I excuse ourselves, knowing the family needs some alone time. We murmur our goodbyes, telling them to call us the moment they need us again.

Landon follows us out and closes the door softly behind him. His parents’ raised voices reach us, but they’re not arguing. They’re frantic.

“I’m going to see if Dad or Trenton is still here,” Paige tells us. “Maybe I can catch a ride home with one of them.”

She walks down the campground road.

Birds are already chirping from the trees, and though the morning air is frigid, it looks like it will be a pleasant day. It all seems too surreal. How is Caleb just gone? He was here yesterday morning—everything was normal yesterday morning.

Landon opens his arms to me, and I step into them without question.

I bury my face against his chest and wrap my arms around him, holding him as tightly as I can.

He doesn’t cry like Hunter, but I can sense he feels the guilt too.

It’s not our fault Caleb took off, but there’s still all those “what ifs” floating around in our minds.

What if we’d postponed our trip into Glenwood?

What if we’d taken Caleb on his excursion?

He’d still be here.

“Are you going to try to get some sleep?” I finally ask him.

His head is bent down, his whole body curled in close to me, so his cheek rubs against my ear as he nods. “I want to be alert enough to look some more soon.”

“I’m going to lie down too. Call me if you need me, okay? Or if you hear anything?”

Landon nods, and we part, him going into the camper to join his grieving family and me heading toward my house.

The front door is locked, so I round the back. Not sure if Mom’s trying to sleep, I’m quiet as I slip in and softly shut the door behind me.

I hear whispers coming from the front room—Mom and Mark. They sound serious, and I don’t think it’s the time to interrupt them. I tiptoe past, hoping to slip into my bedroom undetected. But I freeze when I catch a glimpse of them.

Mom’s head rests on Mark’s shoulder, and she’s crying. His arms are around her, holding her like she’s precious. He murmurs something, and she looks up, tears streaming down her face. Then he kisses her softly, offering comfort.

Kisses her .

It’s like a punch to the gut, and I suck in a silent breath. I stumble back, feeling…deceived, I suppose. Not only are they betraying Dad, but they’re going behind my back to do it.

And it’s too much with everything going on—it might be too much all on its own. I slip down the hall without them ever seeing me, sobbing silently, wishing we could just erase the last twenty-four hours and start over.