Page 12 of If the Summer Lasted Forever

CHAPTER ELEVEN

After staring at my closet for far too long, I end up in a pair of jeans, a cute, blousy top, and a pair of impractical ballet flats that I rarely wear.

Because the night is casual, I’ve pulled my hair up in a high ponytail again and curled the ends. Hopefully, I won’t get hay caught in it.

Don’t go there.

Thoughts of kissing Landon in the hayloft have consumed my week. This morning, I poured salt in my coffee. It tasted so awful, I ended up spitting it across the table. Mom looked at me like I sprouted another head and asked if I stayed up all night watching videos again.

The doorbell rings, pulling me from my thoughts. I’m so edgy, I almost hide in my closet. I can’t do this.

I hear the front door open, and Mom greets Landon.

“Lacey,” she calls after a few moments. “Landon’s here.”

Standing tall, I give myself a silent pep talk in the mirror. It’s going to be okay. It’s just a lame party.

I walk into the living room, trying not to think about how much this feels like a date—a real date. Landon smiles when he sees me, and my breath catches. He’s lounging against the doorjamb, arms loosely crossed, making small talk with my mother.

“Ready?” Landon asks.

“Yep.” Thankfully, no one seems to notice the fake cheer in my voice.

“Have fun!” Mom says, clasping her hands and watching us with wide, happy eyes. Her enthusiasm doesn’t make the situation any less awkward.

Landon jiggles a pair of keys when we step out the door. “I actually get to drive you somewhere.”

The Tillmans’ Suburban is parked right next to my Jeep in all its shining, brand-new glory. Landon opens my door and flashes me a smile that makes my stomach flutter.

Not a date. Not a date. Not a date.

Landon, however, doesn’t seem uncomfortable. He effortlessly keeps up the conversation as he navigates down the winding mountain roads, taking turns as I direct him.

We pull onto Misty’s drive in about twenty minutes. Judging from the number of people outside, we arrived neither too early or too late. Every pair of eyes latches onto the Suburban as Landon parks.

Hoping Landon doesn’t notice, I take a deep, calming breath, preparing myself for the inquisition. I know these kids, grew up with most of them. They’ll see right through me.

I open my door, but Landon meets me before I hop out. Leaning close, he sets his hand on either side of my waist and quietly says, “It’s going to be fine.”

Our eyes meet, and I wonder if I should lean in and kiss him for the sake of appearances. The thought makes me warm, fluttery.

As if reading my mind, Landon’s eyes drop to my lips. I hold my breath, waiting…hoping.

After a moment, he swallows and shifts back, giving me space to think. He takes my hand the moment I close the door, and we amble toward our hawk-eyed spectators. They hastily continue their conversations, only shooting us sideways glances, pretending they weren’t gawking a moment ago.

Paige appears, and she pulls me into a greeting embrace. Softly, so only I will hear, she says, “Oh. My. Wow. What was that? ”

“Too much?” I ask, breaking away as Jarrett introduces himself to Landon.

“Don’t even pretend that was a show,” she murmurs, smiling as she turns to the group that’s joined us. Tanner extends his arms, and she steps into them, practically purring.

Jarrett glances at them for only a moment before he looks back at Landon. He’s doing a decent job pretending it doesn’t bother him that his cousin is dating Paige, but I can tell from his tight expression, it does.

I glance around, noticing the music, and turn to Paige. “Where’s the movie?”

“Apparently Gia suggested we just do music this time. Misty actually went with it.” She widens her eyes, showing her incredulous shock.

“So…no kid movie?” I ask, starting to panic. Cartoon bunnies were the only thing keeping this faux date from feeling a little too appealing.

“No kid movie,” Paige confirms.

“Where’s Misty?”

“In the house. Her only rule is no alcohol or ‘being stupid,’ which I guess she figures covers a whole array of things.”

“Fun things,” Tanner says, nuzzling Paige’s neck.

She giggles, and I look away, slightly repulsed. I don’t know if I dislike Tanner, or if I just don’t like him with Paige.

Or maybe all these years, I’ve been rooting for Jarrett.

The two laugh about something, and then Tanner tugs my friend away, leaving us so they can mingle. I shake my head as they disappear and scan the party.

There’s only about thirty of us, ages ranging from about sixteen to twenty.

There are only a few faces I don’t recognize.

Besides the local kids, visiting cousins mill about—regulars who we see every year.

Though the group is small, it’s still a good turnout for one of Misty’s parties.

Word must have gotten around that Gia somehow managed to veto the movie.

The sun sinks behind the mountains, but the perimeter of tiki lights circling the front of the barn does a decent job of keeping the mosquitos and gnats away. Someone turns up the music, and people begin to dance, which seems odd.

Dancing is usually relegated to school functions with a neighboring high school in the next county, and it takes place in a stale-smelling gym, not surrounded by firelight under a blanket of stars.

Without the singing cartoon animals and princess-themed cookies, Misty’s acreage is proving to be a rather romantic setting.

“Come on,” Landon says, taking my hand.

I let him guide me into the small throng of people, hoping my discomfort doesn’t show. When he stops, I step into him and let my hands loop around his neck, school-dance style. Though it seems weird to dance in jeans and a T-shirt, it’s somehow better, more impromptu.

“I don’t suppose you went to many dances?” I ask him, hoping to fill the limited space between us with small talk.

“I managed to make several, actually.” He moves his hands from my sides and clasps them behind my back. The move nudges us closer, but in a sweet way, like an extended embrace. I want to bury my nose against his T-shirt, breathe in the clean scent of laundry detergent and the smell of his soap.

“We made it back home for homecoming both my junior and senior year,” he continues, watching me carefully. “But prom just my junior year.”

He’s telling me something, something he doesn’t want to say with words.

My stomach drops when I realize why it was important he went back—it was because of his girlfriend.

“How long were you and Evie together?” I ask, moving my gaze to his shoulder when the eye contact becomes too uncomfortable.

“Three years.”

“ Three years? ”

He laughs, but it’s not a raw sound as I might expect. “We were next-door neighbors, grew up together.”

I want to groan—neighbors? Practically in love since they were children? How am I supposed to compete with that?

Wait—no.

There is no competition. This isn’t real.

Landon looks up at the sky. “We fought all the time. I always thought it was chemistry—you know, passion .” He rolls his eyes. “But in truth, it was nothing but exhausting.”

The passion part makes my skin crawl, even though he says the word in a scoffing voice, but I try to hide my revulsion for Landon’s sake.

“She ended up cheating on me before we broke up,” he says softly. “Gave me the “ it’s me, not you” line when I found out.”

I meet his eyes, understanding completely. It’s a horrible thing to be cheated on, makes you feel like you’re meaningless. Trivial.

“Enough about Evie,” he says, rolling his shoulders, physically shaking off the somber mood. “The last thing I want to do is talk about the guy you dated, so I doubt you want to hear about her.”

Over his shoulder, Gia pulls someone into the center of the party. “ Thomas. ”

Landon nods. “Yeah.”

I stare at the boy standing next to Gia, and a cold, slimy feeling settles in my stomach. Hearing about Landon’s ex-girlfriend is bad, but it’s nothing compared to this.

“No,” I say, pulling my gaze from Gia to meet Landon’s eyes. Then I nod to the side, directing his attention to the table of refreshments that Misty provided. “He’s here. ”