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Chapter Twenty

A nna came awake slowly. She lay atop the comfortable, down-covered bed in her fairytale bedroom suite.

She’d left the drapes open to allow the breeze off the river to sweeten the air, then lain awake, heart heavy, mind spinning, certain she would never sleep. But she had slept. She wondered for how long. The slant of light across the room told her dusk was nearly upon them.

A bone deep longing for Caden, for his presence, his smile, welled up inside her. But he wasn’t hers, no matter that he’d willingly sacrifice himself for her for the sake of his honor. Not hers . She needed to get that through her head.

A soft scratch sounded on the ante-chamber door. The promised maid, come to help her dress for the evening meal? It must be later than she thought.

“Come,” she called loud enough to be heard in the hall, and dragged herself into a sitting position.

A moment later. Caden’s dark blond head appeared in the doorway, and her heart lurched .

He stepped inside the bedchamber, closed the adjoining door behind him, and leaned against it, arms clasped behind his back.

“You have no idea how hard it was to get here undetected.”

She swung her legs over the side of the mattress, her heart in her throat. He shouldn’t be here. She ought to insist he depart this instant.

Instead, the sight of him, freshly shaven, dressed in formal dinner attire turned her bones to jelly and her brain to mush.

“I see you had a nice cat-nap.” His eyes did a thorough sweep, starting at the top of her head, moving down to her stocking-covered toes, then eased back up to her face. An appreciative smile curved his lips.

Gooseflesh sprouted over her body as if he’d run a fingertip down her spine.

With effort, she found her voice. “Should you be here?”

He cocked his head and, in no hurry at all, closed the distance between them. “You don’t wish to see me? I find that rather surprising.”

The mattress dipped as he lowered himself to sit beside her, close enough that their hips brushed, and her stomach did a neat somersault.

“Your hair looks lovely, all sleep-tousled and mussed.”

Her hand moved automatically to her hair. She’d forgotten she’d unpinned it.

Caden scooped the mass of it off her nape and let it sift through his fingers.

She tried and failed to suppress a shiver. “You shouldn’t be here. It isn’t proper. Someone will see you.”

“Who?”

“The maid arriving shortly to help me dress, for one. ”

“I see.” He wound a thick lock of her hair around one finger, then let it fall. “I’d have sworn on a stack of bibles you’d be climbing the walls waiting to talk with me. But if you’re certain…” He half rose.

“Wait.”

With no hesitation, he dropped back onto the bed.

She nibbled her fingertip, eyes darting to the closed door. “We do need to talk. Are you aware Lady Kitty and your brother know precisely who I am?”

His face said he was. “Evidently Zeke saw the ad Bolton placed and pointed out same to Kitty. I hadn’t considered that. It rather sped up the process of explaining things, so no real harm done.”

“No harm done?” she squeaked. “You told them we were engaged. They clearly understand that to be an impossibility as I’m already married.”

A muscle ticked in Caden’s jaw. “An impossibility, you say?”

“Of course.”

“Why? Are you planning on returning to the man?”

“No, as you very well know.”

“You do mean to dissolve the marriage as planned, then?”

“Again, you’re aware that is precisely what I mean to do.”

“Why, then, call marriage between us an impossibility?”

She drew in a lungful of air. “Caden, before we bother continuing this inane argument…”

He arched his brows in silent query.

“Are you, by any chance, proposing actual marriage to me?”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I believe I am.”

Anna searched his eyes.

He returned her gaze with an unblinking stare .

“I assumed you made the claim in order to explain my presence, sans chaperone. I did wonder how you intended to rescind your bald declaration.”

“Well, now you know.” His jaw hardened. “I intend nothing of the sort.”

Lady Kitty had been right. He wished to marry her. To make her his wife.

An image of the two of them walking hand in hand down the graveled lane leading to—of all places—the cottage where her family had summered filled her mind. Her gut twisted with a sharp, painful yearning for what could never be. Not like this.

Still, a tiny piece of her heart hoped for the impossible. “Why?” she couldn’t stop herself asking.

“Why?”

“It’s a simple question.”

He unfolded his long legs from the bed, jammed his hands into his pockets and began to pace. “I should think it obvious.”

“To you, perhaps.”

Brows furrowed, he moved back toward her, not stopping ’til he loomed over her. “Anna, you were a virgin—”

“—I knew it.” She sprang to her feet, hands fisting at her sides. “You intend to entrap yourself. I won’t have it.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t consider it thus.”

She threw up her hands. “Every girl’s dream. To receive an offer of marriage based on a man’s misplaced sense of obligation and duty.”

The casual smile he sent her did nothing to disguise the sudden bleakness in his expression. “There’s nothing misplaced about it, darling. The fact is…” His eyes softened, crinkling at the corners. “…we made love.”

Her insides trembled at the softly spoken words .

“…and now we shall marry.”

She held fast to her resolve as her heart broke in a million pieces. “It’s not that simple.”

He nodded. “I’m aware you didn’t choose this, didn’t choose to find yourself alter bound with me in particular, but it’s where we are, darling.” His voice lowered to a whisper. “I vow I will try to make you a good husband.”

Anna blinked rapidly. He had everything all wrong. He was exactly the man she’d choose to marry were she free to do so, and were his reasons for proposing based on love and affection.

Me in particular, he’d said. And what was that nonsense about him trying to make her a good husband? Of course he’d be a good husband. He’d be a marvelous husband.

Abruptly she understood. Caden didn’t see himself as she saw him—as he truly was.

He thought he wasn’t good enough. They’d discussed his skewed opinion of himself at the inn.

She’d thought she’d disabused him of the notion.

She ought to have known better. Caden, the man, was nothing if not stubborn.

Thus, he’d handed her a way out. All she had to do was agree with his summation of himself as a profligate philanderer ne’er do well.

She wouldn’t do it.

“You must admit I have the right of it.”

“I admit nothing. I do not wish to marry you for the reasons you cite.”

“I see.” He studied her, his expression inscrutable. “What reason, do you suppose, would justify you wanting to marry?—me, specifically, by the by.”

Heat bloomed over her, pulsing off her cheeks. The word love hovered on the tip of her tongue, but, of course, would remain unspoken.

He traced his fingertips along her jawline. “You were saying? ”

Heaven above, that felt good. Her eyes drifted closed and, helpless to resist, she pressed into his touch. “I think…I think…”

“Yes?”

“I would very much prefer to be un -married before discussing any future engagement.”

“Ah. An excellent point.” He spoke the words in a gruff whisper.

His hand curved around her nape, while his free arm encircled her waist, pulling her ever-so-slightly closer.

She tried to recapture her resolve. It slipped out of reach like a fish in water.

He was too close. His allure, too powerful. Her defenses were no proof against his hands on her body, or the spicy masculine scent of him teasing her nostrils.

“There’s one glaring problem, Mrs. Jones.” He lowered his lips to her ear. The velvet rumble of his voice curled through her, turning her bones to jelly.

“What’s that?” came her breathless reply.

“We want to do all sorts of naughty things together. Or don’t you want me to kiss you, and touch you and fill you until you come apart in my arms?”

Just like that, her insides simmered with delicious molten heat.

“That’s quite…” she drew in a shuddering breath and, knees gone wobbly, promptly plopped onto her rear on the mattress. “…a bold assertion.”

He sent her a cocksure grin. “You haven’t denied it, however. I’d call you a liar if you did. It’s written all over your beautiful face.”

She glared. She couldn’t decide which of them at this moment annoyed her more. Him for his utter arrogance, or her, because he was right .

He lowered himself to sit beside her, his thigh brushing hers. He leaned back propping himself on his elbows. “No need to get your feathers ruffled. I did say we. ”

So he had. Her gaze strayed to his mouth. She did so want him to kiss her.

“At any rate, consider it fodder for thought.” Abruptly he rose from the bed.

He strolled across the room, and leaned against the windowsill, crossing his arms over his chest. “Hadn’t we better compare notes before supper?”

She blinked at him, disappointment washing through her. “Beg pardon?”

He arched a brow. “I tell you what Zeke, the earl and I discussed, and you fill me in on yours and Kitty’s conversation.”

Of course. Why hadn’t she thought of it? Probably something to do with being distracted by Caden’s mouth, and hands, and…Closing her eyes briefly, she shook her head to clear it.

“Quite right. Tell me how you left things with your brother and the earl.” She applauded herself on sounding almost normal.

“As I mentioned, Zeke remembered you as a girl.”

Lady Kitty had said as much, as well. She’d also shared Zeke’s theory Caden harbored a childhood crush on her. She considered asking Caden if that were true. Then dismissed the idea. He’d only deny it.

But was it true?