Page 5 of If I See You Again

Malcolm

“ Y ou never mentioned how things went the other night.”

My face lit on fire as Angela set in with her questions.

She knew my date had stood me up and that I hadn’t gone home alone.

I wasn’t stupid. You don’t take strangers back to your place without telling at least one person.

That’s just a recipe for ending up on a milk carton.

Did they still put missing people on milk cartons?

It was something everyone talked about when I was a kid, but I don’t think I’d ever actually seen it.

“Uhh…” My face incinerated as she continued to watch me.

“Oh, I know that look. You need to spill the details, mister. It must have been good.”

It had been good. More than amazing. What sucked was knowing it would never happen again. David was my client, and I had to work on a campaign for him.

“Well…” This was embarrassing, but she was my best friend.

I told her everything, but for once, I was clamming up and not letting a single word slip through.

Angela supported me through all of it. She’d been there when Marcus had died, knowing the entire story.

“I feel like I never take that risk. And the one time I did… It blew up in my face.”

Her expression was blank as she waited me out. “What do you mean? Come on, Malcolm, you went from being stood up to going back to some guy’s hotel room. You need to give me something.”

My coffee shook as I lifted the cup to my lips to take a sip.

I’d never been nervous about telling Angela anything.

We’d been friends since middle school. She was the first person I’d told about being bisexual, and there was a reason I trusted her to set me up on so many failed dates. She knew me inside and out.

“He, uh. It was great. I mean…” This was so stupid. I’d never stumbled over my words before. Before continuing, I took a breath to fortify myself. “We went back to the hotel and Jesus. Angela, I don’t think I’ve ever had an experience like that before.”

She cackled as she listened to me speak. The heat spread from my face to my neck.

“I’m sorry. It’s not funny. You’ve never been this flustered before. Did he dick you down that good?”

I scowled at her as I took another sip of my coffee before setting my mug back down.

“What’s important to remember is that it can never happen again.

It’s like I’m cursed. What is this? I do everything right in life, including giving part of my body to my brother, and this is the repayment I get.

Stood up half a million times and a man I’m obsessed with but can’t touch because he’s a client. ”

Angela sat bolt upright, her eyes bugging wide as she stared at me. “What do you mean, he’s a client?”

“Exactly what I said. I did my walk of shame out of that hotel room before he even woke up, only to have him be the very client I was called in to meet. How fucked up is that?”

Her laughter was back, but I didn’t find it amusing at all. It was maybe funny when it all happened, but looking back, it… Nah . It wasn’t that hilarious.

“Only you. How does this happen?”

“I don’t know. But he was so freaking amazing and the second he walked through that door with my boss? Yeah, I lost it. There was no way.”

A long pause stretched between the two of us as we resumed drinking our coffee and eating the pastries we’d gotten to go with it. This was a lunch date. With my best friend. A gossip meeting, if you will. Because Angela had always been all up in my business.

And then finally, she broke the silence. “You still didn’t answer the question of if his dick was good or not.”

My mug hit the table a little too forcefully, the dark liquid sloshing up the sides as I stared at my friend. “What part of amazing did you not understand? It doesn’t matter. It can never happen again.”

More quiet as Angela lifted her cup for another sip, and I watched her through narrowed eyelids as she continued to stare at me.

I threw my hands in the air before standing from my seat. This was a lost cause. I got what she was trying to say. I’d been on my own since forever, and the first good thing that had landed in my lap, I seemed to find everything under the sun wrong with.

“Can we talk about something else? I liked David. It’s a shitty situation. If this had been anything else, you know I would have been all over the guy. I can’t risk my reputation over some good dick. You know me better than that.”

Angela nodded, going back to her mug and dipping her biscotti in it. She took the treat to her mouth and took a bite. “So what’s the plan, then? Are you back on the market?”

I slumped in my chair, watching my friend continue to eat her cookie without a care in the world. After so many bad set-ups and then… David. I was done. At least for now. There was no need to jump back in with both feet and keep setting myself up for failure.

“Off the market.” I sat up a little straighter again before taking another long sip of my coffee and processing my decision.

Angela sat poised with her biscotti half-dunked in her coffee while she stared. “But didn’t you just say—”

I held up my hand to stop her. “I know what I said. It doesn’t mean I want to line candidates up around the block again.

I’m sort of tired of that now.” It was the truth.

There was only so much rejection someone could take.

I was in my thirties, for crying out loud.

Maybe it was time to stop searching so damn hard.

She didn’t argue with me; she just went back to her coffee. I finished my drink, set the mug on the table between us, and looked at my watch. “Thank you so much for meeting up with me for lunch today. We need to do this more often.”

Angela snorted. “You act like this isn’t a weekly occurrence. Malcolm, I work across the hallway. If you want to do more things, let me know, but realize that my husband might get a little jealous.”

That made me laugh as I dropped a tip on the table. “I’m not worried about Tim. He’s a kitten.”

Angela rolled her eyes. “And kittens have sharp teeth and claws. Remember that.”

I left the café and retrieved my cell from my pocket. I always felt so much lighter after talking to my best friend. She never seemed to judge me, and it was a relief to talk about how things had gone down with David.

Speaking of…

There was a text on my phone.

I frowned as I pulled it up. He had gone back to North Carolina. It had barely been two days, so there wasn’t any need for him to reach out unless there was an emergency. I was still perfecting his portfolio and getting it ready for him.

David: Hi

That was it. One word, and it was stupid how it made my heart constrict and my stomach flutter. It was one damn night. The guy shouldn’t have that much power over me, and it needed to stop, considering that we were working together.

Remember Malcolm, nothing good ever came out of shitting where you eat.

It didn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face as I shoved my phone back into my pocket. Was it lousy not to respond? Possibly. Maybe even unprofessional. But a standard ‘ Hi’ wasn’t an emergency and could wait until I was back at my desk.

The entryway to the building swarmed with people rushing to get back to work, and I smiled at the chaos.

Considering how closed off I’d been as a kid and how secluded I’d had to be after the kidney transplant, it was so strange to love being surrounded by so many people.

Maybe that was why I liked it so much. Marcus would have loved it as well, and a flash of sadness hit me as I boarded the shiny elevator to my office.

Would Marcus think I was being dumb for not pursuing things with David?

Thoughts continued to swirl in my head as I disembarked the elevator on my floor and walked down the narrow hallway lined with wooden doors and metal plaques displaying the names of their occupants.

When my feet froze in front of the door with the gold plate, the letters mocked me as I stared at them.

Malcolm Fisher: Product Marketing Manager .

I’d worked hard to be in my position, but after landing this big account because of winding up in bed with the client?

Something soured in my gut. Mr. Thomas didn’t know there was history there. If you could even call it that.

Stop it, Malcolm. Nothing says he wouldn’t have given it to you anyway, even if you hadn’t blown your load all over his chest.

I entered my office and plopped into my chair.

It rolled back a little further than intended, and I cursed, realizing how much of a wreck I must have looked.

When I returned my seat to its upright position at the wide wooden monstrosity that was my desk, I finally pulled my phone from my pocket again.

Those flutters returned to my stomach, seeing another message from David.

David: We’re not starting off great if you’re ignoring me.