Page 104 of Ice & Steel

“No, but you and mom are obsessed with each other,” he said. “How did you know it was her? How do I know if I should just…risk it and go all in?”

I thought about it for almost a minute. There was a lot about the early part of my marriage that wasn’t appropriate to talk to anyone about, much less my son. Truthfully, when I’d married Olivia, I hadn’t loved her. Not the way I did now at least.

But I’d wanted her so fucking much it drove me wild.

Somewhere in all the lust and chaos of those early days, we’d fallen hard.

But that didn’t mean we hadn’t gone through our share of heartache. The first five years had come with a lot of fighting and even more makeup sex. Perhaps that was part of what had made it work. We’d never stopped desiring each other, even when we were angry, sad, or scared.

But I couldn’t tell him that.

I cleared my throat. “Your mother and I married under strange circumstances,” I said. “We never had the option of calling it off when things got hard.”

His eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t have if you did.”

“No, I wouldn’t have.”

“So how do I go balls to the wall like that? If I’m going to fuck up her family life, I’d better give her a solid place to land, right?”

I inclined my head. “If you don’t, you’ll have me to answer to. You’re an Esposito, you take care of your woman and you take care of the children you have with her.”

“Yes, sir,” he said quickly.

He looked a little shaken. I softened, swirling the whiskey in my glass.

“If you want this girl, you have to be upfront about who you are,” I said.

“What…what if I don’t know who that is?” he said quietly. “You’re retiring in a few years and I have no idea if I’m the right person to take over for you. I’m not old enough for this, and I’m definitely not fucking smart enough.”

“You are smart,” I said.

“But I’m not like you, dad.”

“I don’t want you to be like me,” I said, my voice louder than I’d anticipated.

“I think someone else should take over,” he blurted out. “Just because I’m your son doesn’t mean I have what it takes to be a mob boss. I go to a fucking Ivy League.”

“There are lots of criminals at Ivy Leagues,” I said.

He sighed and dropped his forehead against his palm. I cleared my throat and set my glass aside.

“Look, Marco, I never wanted you to be forced into the business,” I said. “If you want to be part of it, be my guest. Work your way up through the ranks if you want a leadership role like everyone else. I know that everyone is expecting you to just step into my role, but I never believed in that shit. You get what you fight for, not what your father has. But if you want to walk away, do it.”

His lips parted.

“If you want to marry this girl and live a regular life. Do it. I’ll start you in one of the legitimate businesses. You can wear a suit, have a white picket fence and two kids, and just live your life. That’s a good choice.”

He swallowed. His hazel eyes glittered, not unlike mine.

“And if I don’t?” he asked hoarsely.

“You’ll be all fucked up,” I said. “But it’ll be the most exciting life you’ve ever lived. That being said, I do not recommend it.”

He was quiet, clearly surprised. I got to my feet and gathered up our empty glasses. A faint sense of guilt crept through my chest.

“I want you to be happy, son,” I said quietly. “I built an empire, but I’d watch it crumble if you got to walk away and live a quiet life, a happy life.”

“But you are happy,” he pointed out.